Smut

I was a widow starved for a man.

While I was burning incense and praying for a good match, some villain broke into my boudoir.

I knocked him out with a vase.

Then I took a look and-oh. A beautiful man.

So I tied him up, hid him in my little courtyard, and had my way with him every day…

Later, he ran off.

When we met again, I knelt on the ground and stammered in terror, “Th-this humble woman greets His Royal Highness the Crown Prince…”

I was the worst student in the Joyful Union Sect.

And yet the Chief Disciple of the Sword Sect claimed me as family, saying I was his long-lost little sister.

The cool, otherworldly Immortal Lord Xie said he wanted to make it up to me.

So I lied and told him I was gravely ill, and that I needed dual cultivation with him to stay alive.

Just like that, I landed the number one spot on my must-eat list.

Later, when I truly couldn’t take another bite, I had no choice but to confess:

“I’m not sick at all. I just wanted your body. But now I’m tired of sleeping with you.”

I thought Xie Lingyu would hate me to death once he learned the truth.

But when I turned around, I saw him holding a huge bag of aphrodisiacs, expressionlessly pouring them down his own throat.

“It’s all right. Now it’s Yanyan’s turn to help her big brother with his illness.”

Me: “???”

I was the heroine of an erotic webnovel, and my job was to seduce the poor campus heartthrob.

But Shi Yan always stopped just short of going all the way.

Crying, I hit him. “What else can you do besides get drool all over me?”

Then I decisively ran away.

Later, Shi Yan wrapped an arm around my waist, his voice low and dangerous.

“Looks like I held back too much before.”

I am the Empress.

The Emperor wished to take my maid as a concubine, claiming that any child she bore would be recorded under my name.

Later, the imperial physician informed me that I had been pregnant for a month.

I said to the Emperor, “In consideration of your many years without an heir, I shall have this child recorded under your name.”

When I was sixteen, the Zhou Family bought me to be a breeder for their lame son, Zhou Yuqing, to bear him children.

Though the agreement was for me to arrive in June, I reported to the Zhou Family in March.

I did this for two reasons: first, to save my own family some grain, and second, to leave a good impression on my future master.

But Zhou Yuqing despised me for being a country bumpkin and called me stupid.

He said I wasn’t nearly as delicate or pretty as Miss Su next door.

Even as he shared my bed, he looked down on me for being dirty.

“You must bathe four times with green jasmine and white champaca, then comb your hair with osmanthus oil. Miss Su uses osmanthus oil-have you got that through your head? ”

“If you serve me well next time, this young master might just grant you a formal title.”

I nodded, scrubbing myself with a loofah until I nearly rubbed my skin raw.

Suddenly, someone grabbed me by the scruff of the neck and hauled me, dripping wet, out of the tub.

It was Madam Liu, the broker who had sold me. She was in a frantic rush as she dragged my naked, fragrant body toward the door.

“Good heavens! It’s all wrong, all wrong! It wasn’t the Zhou Family who bought you-it was the Zou Family!”

By day, my straight roommate and I are sworn enemies.

By night, I secretly write slash fanfiction about the two of us.

[He slowly closed his eyes, his soft lips pressing against mine…]

That very night, in my dreams, we reenacted the exact scene from my story.

Later, I discovered that whatever I wrote, I would dream about that night.

I became addicted to it, losing myself in the fantasies until there was no turning back.

Still, I always made sure to maintain a sense of propriety, never daring to go too far or truly offend him.

Until one day, I finally plucked up the courage to reach out and touch my roommate in the dream.

The next morning, the look in his eyes when he turned to me was dark and unreadable.

“What’s the point of just dreaming?” he said, grabbing my hand and pulling me toward him.

It turned out that I wasn’t the only one; he had been having those dreams too.