Short Story
The Beginning and End of Siri Killing
I was about to hide my boyfriend’s body in the refrigerator.
Then Siri on his phone suddenly spoke.
“The refrigerator is not the optimal location for concealing a corpse.”
I stared at the phone on the floor in terror, a chill running through my entire body.
“A better location for corpse concealment has been detected. Would you like to proceed?”
Siri continued. As if possessed, I asked, “Where?” “The basement. The entrance is inside the wardrobe in the master bedroom.”
Half-doubting it, I followed Siri’s instructions and actually found the basement.
It really was the perfect place to hide a body. Because inside, I found several more corpses…
Annual Report of the Imperial Harem
I am the most indolent concubine in the Imperial Harem.
The Emperor is currently reading my Annual Slacker Report.
“This year, your name tag was flipped nineteen times. Of those, you were intercepted thirteen times. You actually served in the bedchamber six times, during three of which the Emperor couldn’t perform.”
“This year, you knelt over a thousand times. You called the Noble Consort a ‘bitch’ over ten thousand times, but the number of times you actually said it to her face was zero.”
“Do you remember the Mid-Autumn Banquet?”
“The talent you performed was balancing a pot of wine on your upturned backside, which resulted in half a month’s stipend being docked.”
“This year, your rank and salary have seen no change from last year. In fact, this situation has persisted for three years now.”
“Your keyword for this year is ‘Trash.’ Please keep it up next year.”
Oh no. Am I about to be slacked all the way into the Cold Palace?
Scapegoat
A year ago, on a whim, I told my wife a story.
Because the content was bizarre and the details were too realistic, she was scared out of her wits.
Afterwards, I deeply regretted it and emphasized countless times that the story was made up. But her trust in me had already collapsed, and the look in her eyes was filled with fear.
That night, she ran into the bathroom, locked the door, and called the police.
As a result, I ended up in jail.
Now, I am sorting out the whole incident as follows.
Submission
Because of a bet, Jing Shaochuan lost me to his twin brother.
I acted as if I knew nothing and spent a night of reckless entanglement with his brother.
The next day, I blushed and asked Jing Shaochuan to buy some ointment for me.
“Where are you feeling unwell?” He frowned slightly, his voice deep and cold.
I murmured softly, “You were too rough last night. You hurt me.”
Jing Shaochuan froze visibly.
I took a step forward, hugging him gently and intentionally acting sweet and spoiled.
“But, you were so different last night compared to how you usually are… I really liked it, though.”
Frost Moss
Third Miss Liu did not have a very good reputation.
When she was fourteen, she threw a length of white silk over a roof beam and hanged herself, an act that stripped the primary wife of her power to manage the household.
The entire capital whispered that she was far too calculating for such a young age.
When she was seventeen, she sat atop a wall and tossed her silk pouch into the arms of a complete stranger.
Once again, the capital buzzed with rumors, claiming she was conducting a private affair and lacked any sense of shame.
Her father was so livid he was practically hopping mad, threatening to have her drowned in a pond. As soon as this news broke, General He grew anxious.
He was the capital’s most notorious man fated to kill his wife. And he had just accepted Third Miss Liu’s pouch.
An Arrow to Congratulate the Newlyweds
At Yuchi Wei’s wedding, I once fired an arrow that pierced through the bride’s red veil, killing her on the spot.
I did it because that woman was a spy.
In the aftermath, Yuchi Wei was moved to tears of gratitude. He promoted me to be his personal lieutenant.
Because of that proximity, he eventually discovered my secret-that I was a woman disguised as a man.
Five years later, on our wedding night, he walked into the room carrying a funerary urn he had cherished for years.
“I want you to experience the same thing I did back then,” he said. “To taste the bitterest pain at the moment of your greatest joy.”
Only then did I realize he had deeply loved that spy all along, and his heart had never changed.
He gouged out my eyes and crippled my hands so that I could never fire an arrow again.
Amidst a world of bloody light, I set the house ablaze, dragging him down to death with me.
When I opened my eyes again, I had returned to the day of Yuchi Wei’s wedding.
“General, do you think the woman who just stepped out of the bridal sedan could be that spy?” my subordinate whispered.
I stopped him, my expression indifferent.
“We are only here today to offer our congratulations. We will not discuss official business.”
Skeleton Mystery
At the Dong Manor’s night banquet, the beautiful Singing Girl transformed into a Pink Skeleton.
The next day, I entered the manor to interrogate, but everyone gave the same answer: they saw nothing.
What was even more outrageous-
The coroner’s examination revealed that the skeleton was a man!
Survival Guide for a Vicious Woman
After we broke up, I ran into my ex at the mall.
My hair was a mess, and I was in the middle of a frantic struggle to change a diaper.
He, on the other hand, was impeccably dressed, surrounded by a fawning entourage as he inspected the premises.
Our eyes met. When he saw the fussy child in my arms, his expression shifted instantly. “Is he mine?”
I gave a cold laugh and turned the baby’s face toward him. “Do you think he looks like you?”
He studied the child for a long moment before nodding with certainty. “He does.”
“Xue Chang, we broke up over three years ago.” I gave him a mirthless smile and bounced the little one in my arms to remind him. “My baby is only six months old.”
Abnormal Family
I was being bullied.
My bullies even threatened to show up at my house.
I begged them not to go.
They had no idea that I was the only normal person in my family.
My father is a serial killer.
My mother is a yandere.
My brother has an antisocial personality disorder.
I am the only one who is a delicate, pitiful little flower.
Better Not to Meet
My sister has hated me for twenty years. She once told me to my face that it would be better if I just died.
So, just as she wished, I was diagnosed with stomach cancer.