Short Story
99.9% Perfect Marriage, Then I Quit
I have died seven times.
Every single time, I died on the day my husband asked for a divorce.
He doesn’t love me. Seven years of marriage proved to be fragile and worthless the moment his White Moonlight returned to the country.
The System told me that if I wanted to live, I had to defeat the White Moonlight.
Miscarriages, acting as a body double, framing her… my methods became increasingly ruthless.
However, just as I finally approached the finish line-when my Marriage Reconciliation Success Rate reached 99.99%-
I was the one who handed over the Divorce Agreement.
He Loved Me After I Was Gone
The Emperor’s beloved Noble Consort, his one true love, was dead.
His one true love?
It was almost laughable.
And yet, the rumor had spread throughout all of Dayan.
I Carried His Rival’s Child
My husband holds the highest office in the land, and I am the most virtuous noblewoman in all of Shangjing.
The wives of the capital’s officials all claim I am blessed with good fortune, yet they have no idea that I have been neglected by him for years, my heart heavy with misery.
He finds me dull and is deeply in love with his concubines, with whom he has both sons and daughters.
Finally, after my mother-in-law had expressed her disdain for my inability to conceive countless times, I found myself pregnant.
But Cheng Wenting nearly lost his mind.
With bloodshot eyes, his hand trembled uncontrollably as he choked me. “Whose child is it?”
A gentle smile played on my lips. “My Lord, it is yours, of course.”
I Faked My Death to Escape My Husband
During the first year of our marriage, at my birthday banquet, a songstress appeared wearing a silk dress identical to mine.
My husband’s expression turned ice-cold. “Someone, strip that dress off her.”
He was clearly defending my honor, yet I felt not a single spark of warmth in my heart.
For I knew that he was also the man who had once spent a fortune on that very songstress and made a pact to elope with her.
After Becoming a Concubine, I Drove My Whole Family Crazy
I was fighting someone in the street when Young Madam took a liking to me on the spot.
She gave me fifty taels of silver and asked if I was willing to become her husband’s concubine.
They say a debt of recognition should be repaid with one’s body. Fair enough.
But was this really the way to repay it?
Still, I was desperately short on silver, so I gritted my teeth and agreed.
Only after entering the manor did I learn that my husband was introverted, my mother-in-law was tyrannical, and my sister-in-law was insufferably arrogant.
Young Madam hadn’t bought me back to serve anyone at all.
She had brought me into this family to be King Yan.
Unwilling to Meet Again
I knew nothing of the zither, chess, calligraphy, or painting.
Before I married Yu Huaiqian, the matchmaker asked me what I was good at.
I thought for a long while, then said,
“Picking rice.”
The whole room burst into laughter.
Yu Huaiqian laughed too, but there was no mockery in it.
He said, “Being able to pick rice is quite good. A household still has to eat.”
He was a famously refined young gentleman of the capital.
Everyone thought he should have married that childhood sweetheart of his, the one who could compose lyrics.
But he married me.
After the wedding, we each did our part and supported each other.
I asked him if he ever found me dull.
He placed a chopstickful of greens into my bowl. “Dull is good. I’ve heard enough of all that outside.”
I remembered those words for a very long time.
Until his childhood sweetheart broke off her engagement and returned to the capital.
At the Qushui Banquet, she casually recited a single line from a new lyric.
The wine cup in Yu Huaiqian’s hand froze in midair.
After the banquet ended, he sat in the study and filled an entire page with that one line.
I picked up the paper and looked at him. He immediately reached out to snatch it away.
“Don’t look.”
I asked, “Is it so good that I can’t see it?”
He was silent for a moment, then his voice lowered.
“You wouldn’t understand anyway. Why insist on asking?”
Arrogance
My husband brought home a young woman.
I waited for her to bow and pay her respects, but she started shouting that “all people are born equal.”
I suggested she become his concubine, and she clung to my husband, demanding “one man, one woman, for one lifetime.”
My husband told me to be more accommodating toward her.
I was silent for a long while.
Then I kicked him straight into the sewage ditch.
“You’re the one who’s born equal to dogs. The two of you can go be a pair of dogs for life!”
How Satisfying It Is to Talk Nonsense with Relatives
Twenty years ago, my dad got drunk and let it slip to someone that he had made two hundred thousand yuan in a year raising chickens. Before long, every chicken on his farm had been poisoned to death.
Later, my dad bought an eighty-million-yuan apartment in Beijing outright, and he didn’t tell a single person back home. Even my grandparents had no idea.
Now my dad has long since become the CEO of a corporation worth several hundred million. Every time we go home for New Year’s or the holidays, he makes my mom and me help him pretend we’re poor.
At the New Year’s Eve dinner, I sat there bundled in a thick cotton coat and cotton slippers, both hands shoved into my pockets.
And so began my proud inheritance of my father’s fine tradition: talking absolute nonsense.
Who would’ve thought I’d overdo the act and run into someone I knew?
Me: “President Gu?”
Him: “President Shen?”
Then we both clapped a hand over each other’s mouths.
Deadly First Love
The boy I’d secretly loved was expelled from school for protecting his childhood sweetheart.
Years later, I became the most famous talent manager in the industry and ran into him waiting tables at a restaurant.
He had long since forgotten me, but I still wanted to give him a chance. I asked him, “Xie Xingyun, do you want to be an actor?”
He came with me.
It took me three years to transform him from a waiter carrying plates into the entertainment industry’s hottest new star.
Then the childhood sweetheart he’d protected all those years ago came looking for him.
Sending the Future Tyrant to School
In my last life, Xie Wujiu stormed the capital, and blood ran like rivers before the palace gates. In this life, before he could fall into darkness, I forced him into a private school and made him recite The Analects every day.
Only later did I understand: asking a starving person to speak of benevolence and righteousness can itself be cruel.