Josei

The day I was cast aside for jealousy, more than half the capital applauded.

My mother-in-law wept and complained that I controlled her son, forbidding him from drinking and from taking concubines, making him the laughingstock of the city as a henpecked husband.

What no one knew was that my husband, Qi Chong, used that “henpecked” reputation as an excuse to turn away people asking to borrow money, dodge social obligations, reject beautiful spy-concubines sent by political rivals with ill intent, and rise smoothly through officialdom.

In the end, I alone bore the infamy of being a shrew and a jealous wife. I angered my father to death, and I myself fell gravely ill and died.

When I opened my eyes again, I had returned to the first year of my marriage to Qi Chong.

At a banquet, Qi Chong didn’t dare refuse the beautiful spy sent by his superior, and pushed me forward instead. Lifting his cup, he put on a troubled expression and said,

“I like the beauty very much.

“But if I bring her into the household, my wife will be upset again.”

What he didn’t know was that I took the beauty’s hand, then turned back to him with a gentle, magnanimous smile.

“Since my husband is so fond of her, and I’ve already checked that your birth dates are compatible, why not bring her into the household today?”

Qi Chong’s face filled with shock. He froze where he stood.

The first time I met Li Shuyu…

He had black hair, black clothes, and black-rimmed glasses.

He looked ascetic and buttoned-up.

Only after spending some time with him did I realize just how wrong I had been.

This seemingly aloof man would take off his glasses at night,

put in his lip stud and tongue stud, and say thickly,

“Don’t tremble, jiejie.”

In the dead of night, only after I let out a satisfied sigh did Wei Che gently roll off me.

He had been putting in so much effort lately that I figured he was probably about to leave me.

With a faint sigh, I turned over and went to sleep.

After all, everyone knew it.

I was the most useless kind of lovesick fool.

When the sky wanted to rain and a man wanted to leave, what could I possibly do about it?

Beg him bitterly? Threaten suicide and make a scene?

That was what a real lovesick fool would do.

But I was a fake.

A long time ago, I had already understood one simple truth-

Everyone despised a lovesick fool.

Pretending to be one, however, was the advanced strategy.

After Pei Xingzhi had Li Pin beaten to death with rods for the sake of the Noble Consort,
I was ill for three months.

When I recovered, it was as if I had become a different person.

I no longer racked my brains to win his favor, no longer grew jealous over which concubine’s palace he would dine in that day. I became cautious, careful, and obedient to the rules.

When Pei Xingzhi summoned me again to attend his bed,
word came from Changchun Palace that the Noble Consort was having a nightmare and wanted him to keep her company.

In the moment of hesitation before he could decide, I had already fetched his cloak for him and fastened it in place, speaking softly:

“The roads are slippery in the snow, Your Majesty. Please watch your step.”

Pei Xingzhi suddenly seized my hand, his voice slightly hoarse. “You’re not going to ask me to stay?”

I smiled gently. “I would not dare sway Your Majesty’s will.”

After all, every time I tried to keep him before,
he had never stayed.

Chapter 0

The year I turned thirty-two, I kept a poor college boy.

One day, passing by the university, I saw Shi Jin with a girl caged in his arms.

His eyes were red, wronged yet restrained. “Please don’t think I’m dirty…”

It was a perfectly straightforward sugar arrangement.

So why did he make it sound as if I had defiled him?

If he thought it was dirty, plenty of people wouldn’t.

I exhaled a stream of smoke, turned to the blond college boy passing by in head-to-toe fakes, and said,

“Ask him whether he’s willing to call someone mommy.”

Ever since I was little, I had been slow and lacking in wit, while Elder Sister was extraordinarily gifted.

At a poetry gathering held at Marquis Manor, she was afraid I would embarrass myself, so in private, she composed a poem for me.

None of us expected that the true purpose of the gathering was to choose a wife for the Second Young Master of Marquis Manor. And the poem she wrote for me was the very one that caught the Second Young Master’s eye.

Later, I married into Marquis Manor.

After the wedding, Pei You discovered just how dull and ignorant I truly was.

Only then did he realize I was not the person who had written that poem that day.

Pei You resented me, blamed me, despised me.

He said his wife should not be someone like me, a woman with nothing but a pretty face and not a drop of learning inside her.

Whenever we were intimate, he would lean close to my ear and mock me, saying I had none of the dignified bearing of a proper main wife, only a body full of vixenish allure that was of some small use in bed.

I was terrified.

So when I returned to the day of that poetry gathering, I stopped Elder Sister before she could write a poem for me. My voice trembled as I said,

“Thank you, Elder Sister, but there is no need.”

I served at the Empress Dowager’s side for twenty years as her chief palace maid.

Steady, dignified, respected by all.

No one knew.

I had borne two children for the Son of Heaven.

Only on her deathbed did the Empress Dowager discover our secret affair.

She held my hand, seeming to sigh.

“Silly child. You kept this from me for so many years.”

“I will issue an imperial decree at once and have you enter the palace as a consort, so mother and children may be reunited.”

In my previous life, I truly did enter the palace.

But by then, Zhao Xun already had a Noble Consort he cherished above all else.

He favored me for a time, then cast me aside without a second thought.

Even my own children acknowledged another woman as their mother.

Now, reborn into this life,

I no longer wanted to be his consort.

Beside the Empress Dowager’s sickbed,

I kowtowed heavily. “This servant would never dare presume upon imperial favor.”

“I beg the Empress Dowager for mercy. Please allow this servant to leave the palace.”

(A completely brainless, silly story)

Yun Youyou opened her eyes and found that she had inexplicably become an NPC in a Horror Game.

The stingy Game: No salary, no benefits-as long as it doesn’t kill you, work until you drop.

Yun Youyou: “Then I’ll just have to pretend I’m a pile of crap.”

As long as I don’t create any value, it’s the same as not working.

Relying on nothing but her silver tongue, Yun Youyou forcibly turned the Horror Game into a comedy game.

The Horror Hotel Dungeon?

Change it! Change it into a Pool Cyber Chanting Party!

The Horror Doctor loves performing sterilization surgeries?

Change it! Change it into a Gentle Nurse who cures all ailments!

In the beginning.

Facing the most terrifying and brutal Player in the Game.

Yun Youyou clung to Ji Lin’s leg, weeping bitterly as she cried, “Please let me go! I’m not like the other ghosts!”

Ji Lin sneered, “How are you different?”

Yun Youyou sniffled, “I have no dignity.”

Ji Lin: “…”

Later on.

“Yun Youyou, come here and tell me-why does this Male Ghost have your contact information?”

Ji Lin’s eyes were cold and sharp, his voice carrying a hint of danger.

Yun Youyou, whose wings had grown strong: “I’m the queen; if you don’t like it, deal with it.”

I tried to persuade my best friend to break up eight hundred times, but in the end, I attended her wedding and drank her wedding wine.

On the wedding day, I sat at the main table with the guy’s strategist, both of us checking our phones and comparing notes.

We realized that every time the couple threatened to break up, it was always the two of us who got dragged into it.

Our chat histories were eerily similar.

[We broke up. This time it’s for real.]

[But what about him/her? What should I do?]

Guy’s strategist: [Maybe you should change jobs. You’d make a great clown in a circus.]

Me: [Pay me some compensation.]

introduction:

[1v1 guaranteed sweetness + romance reality show + playfully going wild with memes + heartthrob + romantic battlefield + male lead]

Ning Xi lived for 21 years before realizing she was the universally disliked fake heiress in a novel where the rich family dotes on one child-a foil and stepping stone to the Real Heiress.

In the book, everyone who adored the Real Heiress got everything they wanted and became wildly successful, while anyone who went against her ended up miserable.

Ning Xi was silent. Ning Xi had an epiphany. Ning Xi got excited:

“I get it! I should chase after the Female Lead too! Be good to the Female Lead!”

So –

When the Real Heiress put on a brave face and spoke gently in front of Ning Xi’s fiancé, Ning Xi looked at her with genuine concern: “I know you want to be strong, but you don’t have to be strong anymore – I’ve got you!”

When the Real Heiress shed tears in front of Ning Xi’s Childhood Friend, Ning Xi yelled at him: “If you make her shed a single tear, I’ll make you bleed! If you break my sister’s wings, I’ll bring down your entire heaven!”

When the Real Heiress fainted in the arms of the Prince of Xiangcheng, Ning Xi swooped her up and warned him: “My girl – don’t touch, don’t steal, don’t even think about her. If you lay a finger on her, 110 takes me away, 120 takes you away!” (110 = police, 120 = ambulance)

When the Real Heiress was exposed for dating multiple guys and her reputation was ruined, Ning Xi fumed: “Even if we take ten thousand steps back, are those guys totally blameless?”

After going wild, Ning Xi’s whole mental state improved a lot.

But then, everyone else started acting weird.

The hot-tempered, sharp-tongued Childhood Friend started sending her abs workout videos; the cold fiancé’s eyes turned red and his voice shook as he begged her to get back together; the Villain Boss was willing to play the third for love.

Even the Real Heiress, who always put her down, was teary-eyed: “I thought I was just clever, but I didn’t expect you to truly love me.”

Ning Xi: ?

Everyone’s lost it…