Adventure

On my wedding night, Yuan Zhi called me a beautiful idiot and said she had no idea what Yuan Lang saw in me.

Ridiculous.

I was fair-skinned and lovely, clever and quick-witted.

That was jealousy talking!

After a night’s sleep, I was still indignant.

I shook Yuan Lang awake bright and early and whined about what she had said.

Yuan Lang watched me through narrowed eyes for a long while.

“Mm.

You certainly are.”

When the zombie outbreak hit, my two-faced best friend locked me out.

Before I could find somewhere to hide, the ten-year-old next door bit me on the butt.

He was little, and his teeth weren’t much good.

Becoming a zombie hadn’t made him much tougher, either.

Once he’d bitten me, he stiffly shuffled away.

Watching him go, I suddenly felt a little embarrassed.

Suppose zombies ruled the world years from now, and someone asked how we’d all turned.

Everyone else would have fought off a whole pack of vicious zombies before finally going down.

Or sacrificed themselves heroically to save humanity.

Was I supposed to say I’d been lousy at hiding and some brat shorter than me had bitten my butt?

I felt pretty miserable.

But not for long.

Then I decided to stop trying.

On my first night inside the novel, the villain barged into my practice room.

Then he found himself staring at the male lead and the second male lead, already seated on meditation cushions.

After a long silence, he said, “Move over.

Make room for me.”

“There’s no room,” the male lead said.

“There really isn’t.”

I surveyed the cushions packed across the floor.

“I think we can squeeze in one more.”

My parents sent me into the deep sea to work as a housekeeper for an octopus.

Before I left, I asked Mom: “You have five children.

Why send me away?”

Mom sobbed so hard she could barely speak.

“Business class on the interplanetary flights only has six seats, but there are seven of us.”

“Because of you, our family can’t all sit together whenever we travel to Mars!”

Me: “?”

But I was the middle child.

I was the daughter of Princess Changning and a peasant from the countryside.

When I was seven, the Empress Dowager bestowed a name on me.

She said my very birth was a grievous wrong, and named me Luoyuan.

For years I lived in the palace, fearful and ashamed, keeping both myself and my heart imprisoned.

But someone told me I should be a bird with its wings spread against the sky, free to soar.

And so, in the end, I found the courage to be brave—for myself, and for him.

The good news: I’d landed in a Journey to the West fanfic.

The bad news: I was a snake spirit who survived exactly one episode.

To stay alive, I lied that Guanyin had sent me and became Tang Sanzang’s disciple.

Eldest Brother was stunned.

“We’ve already cleared fifty-four of the eighty-one trials, and you’re only joining us now?”

“Ha ha.

That’s what having connections gets you.”

I loved slithering around like a twisted little creep so much that the System turned me into a snake spirit.

In Journey to the West.

Watching Tang Sanzang being lowered into a cooking pot, I fell silent.

To stay alive, I had no choice but to become his disciple.

Sun Wukong: “Huh?

We’ve already survived fifty-four of the eighty-one ordeals, and now you want to join?”

Me: “Fate works in mysterious ways.”

I was so fond of writhing around in the shadows that the System made me a snake spirit.

A snake spirit in Journey to the West.

I stared at Tang Sanzang being lowered into a cooking pot.

Words failed me.

To stay alive, I had no choice but to become his disciple.

Sun Wukong: “Huh?

We’ve already survived fifty-four of the eighty-one trials, and you’re joining us now?”

Me: “Fate works in mysterious ways.”

Before the zombie virus broke out, I could barely lift a thing.

After the apocalypse hit, I was taking out zombies with a single swing.

When that two-faced bitch threatened me, I had one answer: Then we die together.

[Tales of mountain spirits and sea monsters no longer circulate in the mortal realm. As the gods who protect humanity begin to awaken, they seek offerings of incense.]

[Do not underestimate this fair night. Many pairs of eyes lurk in the darkness, watching.]

[Wake up, humans! A terrible, all-destroying day of doom draws near!]

…

One day, Xie Qingling wakes to a murmuring whisper in her ear.

Amid one mortifyingly theatrical proclamation after another, the revival of the ancient gods begins to unfold before her.

…

The Special Incident Response Department in Future City has a new member: Xie Qingling.

At first, Xie Qingling thinks she is just an utterly ordinary rookie in the Special Incident Response Department.

Her senior colleagues think so too.

To whip the newcomer into shape as quickly as possible, they decide to spar with her and put her in her place. Time to teach her a little about the real world.

Then they see her out on a mission, taking on a vicious ghost alone and furiously wrenching its head off. A Four-Way Crossroads Ghost is forced into child labor, a Rakshasa has its blade stolen, and a Painted-Skin Ghost has its skin torn off…

Her seniors: “…” Their confidence is in pieces!

Afterward, Xie Qingling still thinks she is just an utterly ordinary rookie in the department.

As a newcomer fresh out of school, she decides to take the initiative and ask her seniors for guidance. A little sparring should help her improve and learn what the real world is like.

Her seniors recoil, terror on their faces:

“She can twist a vicious ghost’s head off, and you call that a rookie?”

“She can stop ghost children crying, and you call that a rookie?”

“Please spare us, rookie!!!”

Xie Qingling’s work diary: A person mustn’t get too arrogant. Especially a rookie as young as me.

Her seniors and the ghosts: She seems to have no idea how terrifyingly powerful she is. Does she even know what arrogance means?

What she’s doing is called being humble. 🙂

Are all the rookies this terrifying now?

She starts by ripping vicious ghosts apart, and you’re telling me this is a fucking rookie?

What’s the real world like? The rookie IS the real world.

Hey, rookie! Veteran here. Carry me, please!

Within Huaxia, no god gets to sit idle. The righteous gods return to their places; demons and monsters are put to the sword.