chapter 3

Bai Yuetang looked surprised.

“That sounds like a frightening name.”

“It is poisonous. Two mouthfuls will kill a cow or sheep. That is why it is also called heartbreak grass.”

“Why would my husband favor such a poisonous thing?”

At that, tenderness softened Fu Qingchuan’s face.

“Yuanxi once made money from it.”

Bai Yuetang did not say anything, but the smile that almost appeared and then vanished betrayed her displeasure at hearing my name.

Caichun, on the other hand, was fascinated.

“How did she make money from a poisonous flower?”

Fu Qingchuan did not hide the truth.

“Because there are buyers for medicine, and there are buyers for poison.

“As it happens, she earned that money to pay for Mr. Bai’s treatment.”

It was a miracle that Mr. Bai and I reached the frontier alive and whole. We could hardly have expected an easy life there.

We had a few tiles over our heads, but we still went hungry as often as we ate. We had no strength or means left for charity.

We took Fu Qingchuan in only because he had collapsed with fever beside our thatched hut. Leaving him there to die would have felt like a sin.

I had planned to chase him away once his fever broke. Instead, while he was still weak, Mr. Bai’s leg was broken during forced labor.

I cursed Father over and over in my head. What a heartless bastard, caring about one end and forgetting the other. He could send his daughter away to repay a debt, but not a few pieces of silver to keep her alive.

Only when Bai Yuetang heard that her own father had suffered did she grow anxious.

“What did you do?”

“Yuanxi built a handcart and dragged Mr. Bai to a clinic. After the physician dressed his wounds, she waved her hands and said she had no money, but she could leave me there as a laborer. The physician had no choice but to agree. To get me working sooner, he not only treated my fever but fed me a full meal. I still don’t know whether he profited from that bargain.”

Bai Yuetang laughed.

“She was clever.”

Fu Qingchuan sighed wistfully.

“If only cleverness were all it was.

“Her courage could be terrifying.”

Remembering what he had said, Bai Yuetang understood. “She went to gather stellera!”

Stellera grew on the grasslands beyond the city. Reaching it meant traveling dozens of li outside the walls, where one might encounter raiders, wolves, or bears. Unless driven to desperation, even a strong young man would not choose to gather that deadly flower.

Much less a ten-year-old girl.

The hardship of that journey was beyond words. Looking back, I knew that if I had been even a year older, I might not have dared it.

But danger made the flower valuable. The silver I earned was enough to redeem Fu Qingchuan and still leave us the capital to begin trading.

Caichun clicked her tongue in wonder at the peril of it. Bai Yuetang lowered her eyes, hiding whatever stirred there.

That night, mistress and maid spoke in private.

Bai Yuetang sounded uneasy.

“Li Yuanxi may carry more weight in Fu Qingchuan’s heart than Father expected.”

Caichun had never loved anyone. She did not understand the subtleties of desire and answered bluntly, “However much she mattered, she is dead. She cannot compete with you.”

Bai Yuetang shook her head with a sigh.

“How can the living ever defeat the dead?”

When she looked again at the luminous pearl, uncertainty clouded her face.

More than a month later, Fu Qingchuan’s appointment arrived. He had been assigned an idle post in an inconsequential office.

Father arranged a banquet especially for his convenient new son-in-law and offered him some supposedly heartfelt advice.

“The political climate is unsettled. An undemanding post may be the safest course. You are still young. There will be time enough to soar.”

My elder sister held Bai Yuetang’s hand and chatted intimately about recent amusements.

My death had not prevented any of them from living happily.

No, that was not quite right.

More than ten years ago, when they decided to send me to the frontier, whether I lived or died had already ceased to matter to them.

After making a round of toasts, Fu Qingchuan put an arm around Li Shaoheng’s shoulders and asked with a smile, “My young brother-in-law will soon come of age, won’t he? Has a marriage been arranged?”

Li Shaoheng glanced at Bai Yuetang, drained his wine, and said, “Do not laugh at me, Brother-in-law. The woman I love has already married another man. It seems I am destined to live like a monk.”

Bai Yuetang’s eyes trembled. She turned away.

Fu Qingchuan saw everything and gave a soft, contemptuous laugh.

“You are merely young. What are men better at than changing their hearts?”