Chapter 6

I’d given up resisting.

We’d already done the whole cheek-touching thing, after all.

So when Zhu Tian told me it would be cooler if we hugged, I went straight into her arms.

It really was cooler!

She was a walking air conditioner!

Good heavens, how could she be this cool? This comfortable?

I never wanted to leave!

I tightened my arms around her.

Zhu Tian took the umbrella from me, holding it over us with one hand and wrapping the other around my waist.

Her voice came from above my head, low and resonant. “Better?”

Eyes closed, my head against her chest, I gave a small nod.

I’d really been on the verge of passing out.

Her hand slid up my back and came to rest at my nape.

I felt her fingertips check the pulse at the side of my neck.

“Wang Zige.”

“…Mm?”

“You really need to eat something. I mean food with actual energy and nutrients.”

“…”

“You’re so thin. Keep dieting and your body won’t cope.”

“I… I gain weight just drinking water…”

“You used to be much fuller than this, and you looked just as good on camera. Why starve yourself now?”

“I have a big frame… You don’t understand.”

“You didn’t suddenly develop one today.”

I stopped speaking.

I only shook my head.

The industry’s standards for actresses had always been harsh and irrational.

But I couldn’t say that on camera.

Zhu Tian gently stroked the back of my head.

“Let me take you to get something to eat. Just a little. All right?”

“No… I can’t…”

“I promise you won’t gain weight.”

“…How can you promise that?”

“I have my ways.”

“…”

I must have lost my mind.

Somehow, Zhu Tian coaxed me into going to a nearby restaurant and ordering a steak.

The crew could see I wasn’t well and made an exception, letting me eat first.

I stared at the steak sizzling in its fat, wanting it so badly my eyes reddened.

But I couldn’t bring myself to lift the knife and fork.

I was afraid to eat.

Zhu Tian cut the steak into small pieces, speared one, and held it to my lips.

“Just a little. Look, it’s only a tiny piece. Nothing’s going to happen.”

I stared at that little piece of beef.

“Then… that’s all I’ll have.”

“Mm.”

She coaxed my mouth open and slipped it in.

I bit down, savoring every chew.

It was so good…

Oh, God… that rich taste of fat… So good…

The strict diet had damaged both my physical and mental health.

I knew that.

But there was nothing I could do.

This industry didn’t allow women to have healthy bodies.

Unless you were skin and bones, you didn’t deserve to be an actress.

Yet male stars could gain weight whenever they liked. They could develop a middle-aged paunch and still get roles.

It wasn’t fair.

But what could I do?

Audiences could accept an overweight middle-aged man racing across the screen. They couldn’t accept an overweight middle-aged woman pursuing her dreams on it.

For an actress, a normal weight was a disaster.

Perhaps many years from now, people would stop judging women’s bodies so cruelly.

But not now.

I had to be thin.

Very, very thin, or people would call me fat on camera.

And so many people depended on me for their livelihoods.

If my career suffered, they’d lose their jobs too.

My eyes reddened at the thought.

When Zhu Tian offered me a second piece of beef, I turned away and kept my mouth closed.

She looked quietly at my profile.

Then she turned to the camera operator.

“Could you give us a moment? I’d like a word with Ms. Wang.”

The woman hesitated.

Then she nodded and quickly carried her camera away.

I looked at Zhu Tian, bewildered.

I had no idea what she wanted to say.

“Director Peng is preparing a new drama.”

As she spoke, she rested the fork against the plate, turning it slightly. “…Would you like the lead role?”

I froze.

“What?”

She glanced at me. “Do you want to play the female lead in Director Peng’s new drama?”

My brain finally caught up.

“Of… of course I do. But wanting it doesn’t mean I can have it.”

“If you want it, you can.” She held my gaze. “Do you?”

“Yes! Of course I do!”

I watched her anxiously.

If she knew Director Peng was preparing a new project, she must have her own sources.

Someone who got advance information like that couldn’t be a completely unconnected outsider.

She’d said she made small investments. I strongly suspected those “investments” meant investing in Director Peng’s new drama.

She was probably… She might be…

Perhaps Director Peng would listen to her.

But if that was true… Offering me the lead in a Director Peng production was an enormous promise. She would surely attach a very harsh condition.

One I might not be able to accept.

What would I do if she asked something outrageous?

I wanted this chance so badly!

But… was she even telling the truth?

What if she’d only heard a rumor and was using it to bluff me?

I knew nothing about her. I couldn’t possibly do everything she said!

Right. I… I couldn’t just listen to her.

I’d have to find out who she was before deciding whether to accept her terms…

My thoughts tumbled over one another.

She watched me, apparently knowing what was going through my head.

With an unconcerned smile, she picked up her phone and sent someone a message.

A moment later, mine rang.

I answered and heard my manager’s excited voice. “Ms. Wang! Director Peng’s new drama has invited you to play the female lead! I just got the news and called you immediately!”

My manager kept talking.

But I could no longer make out the words.

My head was buzzing.

After a long time, I hung up and turned my head toward Zhu Tian, stiffly, an inch at a time.

“Who… who exactly are you?”

Zhu Tian lowered her head, a faint smile on her lips.

She offered me another piece of beef. “I’ve read the script. Director Peng needs a strong leading woman. You’re too thin, Wang Zige. You need to eat more if you’re going to meet her requirements.”

Numbly, I ate it.

I stared at her face, taking in every trace of expression.

A conditional acceptance counted as a refusal to accept.

I knew that.

Plenty of people used it to dangle empty promises in front of others.

“Be my girlfriend, and I’ll treat you well.”

“Quit your job and stay home with the children, and I’ll earn enough to support you.”

“When my business takes off, I’ll buy you the most expensive bags and skincare.”

None of it was real.

Because a conditional acceptance counted as a refusal to accept.

But Zhu Tian’s promise didn’t require me to agree to any conditions first.

She gave me the result up front.

Only then did she coax me into eating more.

She actually intended to keep her promise.

So she simply kept it. I didn’t have to agree to anything first.

…Nobody had ever been willing to do that for me.

Everyone, including my mother and father, expected things from me. There were always conditions.

Why didn’t she have any?

She speared another piece of beef.

“You’re being so good, Wang Zige. One more bite?”

My face flamed.

“I’m not a child. Don’t talk to me like that.”

“You need coaxing and someone to feed you. How are you not a child?”

Even my ears were burning now.

I snatched the fork and started eating by myself.

I didn’t dare look at her again.

I was afraid that if I saw the tenderness in her eyes, I’d burst into tears right there.