Chapter 4

The comments:

[What??? The hero can’t perform?! Wait, this isn’t right! In the original, it clearly says he’s… ahem, exceptionally gifted, capable of satisfying… No, I mean he’s extraordinarily robust and can go three days and nights without sleeping!]

[Agreed! The supporting girl is definitely lying! She wants the hero all to herself and doesn’t care if she destroys his reputation! So calculating!]

[I’m dying here! Clear this up already! At this rate, our heroine really will have to become that murderous villain of a Prince Regent’s concubine!]

I took Zhou Jichuan home.

He cried and cursed in his head until my brain ached.

[An innocent, upstanding man, and she’s ruined my name just like that!]

[That wretched Xiao Qiao. Just she wait!]

[Boohoo…]

I rubbed my temples and wished I could sew his mouth shut.

The one in his head, I mean.

Sure enough, news of Zhou Jichuan’s impotence seemed to grow wings and spread through the capital overnight.

An awful lot of young women in the city were suddenly getting married over the next few days.

When Madam learned her son couldn’t perform, she frantically sought physicians and remedies all over the capital. Eventually, she even decided to use me to test him with a drug.

“Xiao Qiao…”

Holding my hands, Madam said earnestly, “You’re his personal maid. Tonight… find some way to test him. If he really can’t, we can start treating him sooner. If he can, I’ll be able to stop worrying.”

I nearly snatched my hands away in fright.

How could I dare take on that job?

That very night, I replaced the drug with flour.

The physician watched his reaction from an adjoining room. After peering for ages, all he saw was Zhou Jichuan falling asleep without the slightest stir.

Stroking his beard, he delivered a grave verdict. “The young lord… truly cannot perform.”

The marquess and Madam felt their world collapse. Worry turned their hair gray overnight.

They couldn’t eat or sleep.

Madam even went up the mountain to pray and returned with a paper talisman, instructing me over and over to put it in his food.

I did.

He had diarrhea for three days.

And cursed at me for three days.

[Is Xiao Qiao poisoning me?]

[My stomach hurts so badly I’m dying, and she’s out of the house every day! What’s so interesting out there?!]

[Heartless little brat! After I’ve always been so good to her!]

The comments:

[It’s over! The hero’s reputation is completely ruined!]

[I’m howling. He pleasures himself every day in the bath and can’t say a word to defend himself. Hahaha!]

[The heroine cries in secret every day. The Prince Regent may have a terrible reputation, but he’ll gradually fall for her after meeting her.]

[I disagree! The leads are the official couple! Get lost, Prince Regent!]