Chapter 4

Chapter 4

After we had finished the vegetarian meal that evening, Madam Nan announced that she would take us to meet the ladies of the noble families. She brought out several jade comb-pins and gold hair ornaments and stuck them all over my head until I looked for all the world like a brocade pheasant.

Anyone who did not know better might have thought I was her own daughter.

In truth, because the Nan Family had repeatedly sold concubine-born daughters to great houses as concubines, their reputation had long since fallen into ruin. We encountered no few noble ladies along the way, but most lowered their eyes the moment they saw Madam Nan, unwilling to offer even a perfunctory greeting. Even so, Madam Nan still introduced them to us one by one.

“That is a secretary from the Ministry of Rites and his wife.”

“Under the tree to the left is the Director of the Imperial Academy.”

“Not far ahead is Yu Mu, Prefect of Ba Commandery.”

The prefect looked to be around forty. His temples were frosted white, and his swollen eyelids drooped. Because he was thin and wiry, there was something rather sinister about him. Madam Nan deliberately pulled me aside and spoke in a very low voice.

“The Yu Family is a great clan in the capital, and many of their sons serve in attendance before His Majesty. If your father can gain his recommendation, his official career will surely soar.”

Before I could react, she dragged me right up to the man and spoke in a fawning tone.

“Lord Yu, this is the daughter of our household my husband once mentioned to you. She came of age the year before last…”

The man had been chatting with someone else, but at her words, his gaze turned toward me and gradually fixed on my body.

He looked at me with thick, murky eyes, nothing like a kindly elder at all. My legal mother, meanwhile, smiled at the corners of her lips and kept pushing me forward.

All I could do was murmur uneasily, “Mother, I don’t feel well.”

Madam Nan turned a deaf ear. Instead, her smile grew even more ingratiating. “My daughter has grown older now. In ordinary days, she has always admired heroes. Looking across the court and the realm, there are few whose bearing surpasses yours, my lord. My lord…”

Listening to her spout such nonsense, I tried to break free, but she held me in a death grip. At last, under that skin-crawling stare, I cried out.

“Mother!”

The clamor all around fell abruptly silent.

Madam Nan froze as well. I wrenched my hand out of her grasp and fled back in panic, not even stopping to pick up the ornate hairpiece that had fallen from my head.

I ran all the way to a deserted place. Bracing myself against a tree, I trembled from head to toe. Before I could even catch my breath, tears had already blurred my entire face.

I was sitting beneath the tree, sobbing beyond control, when a young page came running after me from up ahead. He seemed to look at me hesitantly, wanting to approach but not daring to.

I wiped away my tears and forced myself to calm down. “Who are you?”

“Th-this humble one is Young Master Cui’s book boy.”

Seeing that I had gradually quieted, he stepped forward and handed me a thin silk booklet. “Our young master asked me to bring this. He said it was a gift for the Miss of the Nan Family.”

I took the silk booklet in my hands. It was indeed a copy of Cui Family Instructions. I could not help feeling astonished. “You have never met me. How did you recognize me?”

The boy blushed. “Young Master said the Miss of the Nan Family is beautiful beyond the common world, unforgettable at a single glance. Even if a hundred women stood before him, he would see only you…”

Yet his words of lavish praise did not comfort me. Instead, they made the bitterness in my heart even sharper. Clutching the silk book, I could not help bursting into loud sobs.

The young page had not expected me to cry so bitterly. He was frightened off at once, leaving me alone beneath the tree again.

By now, the sky had gone completely dark. Afraid of Madam Nan’s scolding, I did not dare go back to be reprimanded. All I could do was clutch that thin roll of silk tightly in my hands and wander aimlessly over the mountain, like a drowning person clinging to the last strand of straw rope.

I looked out over the vast world below, over the boundless haze and mist-and found there was not a single place where I could take shelter.