Chapter 4

Chapter 4

“If there wasn’t anyone else, then why did you abandon me for two years?”

Ling Xu choked out, “I was wrong, Ah Cai. I’ll never treat you like that again.”

The Divine Voice spoke again. “He’s coaxing you, Yao Cai. You sank into two years of agony over a man like this, lost and counting sins you didn’t even know you’d committed.”

Tears welled into beads and rolled from my eyes.

It all felt absurd.

Ling Xu kissed away my tears, soft and meticulous, murmuring to me, “I’m sorry, Ah Cai. I’m sorry.”

When I begged him, he was sick of me.

When I caged him, he began to make me his whole world.

His warm kisses were light and dense, mingling with my tears, like two damp, fat worms writhing against my skin.

I felt a little nauseated. All at once, I realized I didn’t love him as much as I claimed.

Ling Xu, my husband, was nothing more than this. He wasn’t worth it.

I wrenched myself out of Ling Xu’s arms and looked at him without the slightest trace of feeling.

That silent gaze alone turned his face pale.

He lowered his eyes slightly, then suddenly raised a hand and undid the buttons at his collar.

The Divine Voice laughed. “Looks like he wants to use his body to coax you into forgiving him.”

I gave a cold laugh too and tore open the front of his robe.

Ling Xu let out a breath of relief and opened his arms to me. “Come here, Ah Cai.”

I tore his clothes into strips, one piece at a time, until they could barely cover him.

But I did not do what he imagined. Instead, I studied him and judged, “Nothing more than this.”

Ling Xu’s expression changed. He looked as though he wanted to lose his temper at me, but he forced it down and softened his tone. “What did I do to upset you?”

The Divine Voice taught me, “Make him think about it himself.”

So I said, “You don’t know what you did wrong?”

Ling Xu looked bewildered. His brows drew together as he sank into thought. After a long while, he asked carefully, “Did my parents give you trouble? Or was it Yao Niang?”

The Divine Voice gave no instruction, and I made no response.

He continued guessing. “Was it because I made you uncomfortable last time?”

Under my cold silence, his guesses came faster and faster.

“Was it because I didn’t say the food you made was good?”

“Or… are you tired of me? No. That’s impossible…”

His face grew paler and paler.

The Divine Voice said, “Good. Now praise him. Soothe him.”

I gently stroked his cheek and softened my voice. “How could that be? Now you only have me, and I only have you. We can never be separated. How could I ever get tired of you?”

Ling Xu stared blankly at me, then let out a heavy breath. He smiled, and at the same time, tears actually fell.

He held me tightly, as if he had lost me and found me again.

The Divine Voice said, “Love can’t be begged for. See? Change your methods, and now he’s about to fall in love with you, isn’t he?”