Chapter 3
Only after I left the general’s residence did the two people behind the folding screen emerge.
Xie Tingyue had changed into close-fitting black training clothes. He gave his mother a wounded look.
“Mother, why didn’t you settle the marriage?”
His father clasped Xie Tingyue’s large hand, equally reproachful.
“Exactly. A man as unusual as Yue’er has finally found a woman who likes him. Why didn’t you agree at once?”
“Plenty of women like widowers, but Miss Su may be the only woman alive who likes broad shoulders and huge pecs!”
“If Tingyue loses her, what will become of him?”
General Xie snorted.
“What would a housebound man like you understand?”
“Her Majesty is old and ill, and Su Yunzhao is the Crown Princess’s cousin. This proposal must have another purpose. She probably means to win our household over for the Crown Princess.”
Her husband glanced at their son, troubled.
“But Miss Su seemed sincere to me.”
“When she said she liked a large chest, she sounded exactly like you in bed when you tell me how much you love my soft, pale skin.”
General Xie’s face stiffened.
“What are you saying in front of our child?”
While the general’s household debated my proposal, the residence of the Crown Princess’s rival, the Third Imperial Princess, was in an uproar too.
The sovereign was gravely ill. A few months earlier, she had recalled the Grand General from the frontier. The two women had been close as sisters since their youth, and the Grand General was the sovereign’s most trusted commander.
Which imperial daughter would not want her support?
“So the Crown Princess’s cousin has been hiding her edge all this time. She’s one of her finest blades!”
“Who knew Su Yunzhao could be so calculating?”
“She spends all her time at banquets, acting gentle and proper before noble young men. She has reached twenty without marrying and constantly preaches about one heart and one husband for life. Every young gentleman in the capital worships her as his unattainable first love.”
“So this was her plan all along!”
The Third Imperial Princess turned to one of the women under her command.
“You will go to the general’s residence and—”
Before she could finish, her trusted subordinate dropped to her knees.
“Your Highness!”
“Looking at a man’s huge chest is no different from looking at my own. I feel absolutely nothing!”
“A man with broad shoulders, a shapely backside, and a powerful waist makes me want to vomit. There isn’t a trace of masculinity in him!”
The Third Imperial Princess turned to another woman.
“Then you—”
That woman immediately knelt as well.
“Your Highness, I would never refuse if he weren’t truly revolting!”
“I like gentle, considerate men. Xie Tingyue’s back is so broad that two arms couldn’t encircle it. His stomach has eight hard ridges. I genuinely cannot bear the thought!”
“If I force myself to propose while barely hiding my disgust, I won’t win the general over. I’ll make her our enemy!”
That final argument convinced the princess.
She did not believe anyone could truly desire a man like Xie Tingyue. Sooner or later, Su Yunzhao’s performance would crack. When it did, the general’s household would not be won over—it would be enraged.
The moment I returned home, I begged my parents to send a marriage proposal to the general’s residence.
I had spent twenty years in this world before finally meeting a dark-skinned, big-chested hunk. How could I let him escape?
Even though I knew no other woman would propose if I took my time, I wanted everything settled immediately.
My father objected.
“Yunzhao, please think this over.”
“I’m delighted that you’ve finally found a man you like, but Tingyue’s body… I’m afraid one blow from his chest might crush the breath out of you!”
I froze.
Father, what a beautiful scenario you have imagined.
“If some other woman wanted a taste of novelty and took him as a concubine, that would be one thing. But you have always said you would marry only one man. What happens if Xie Tingyue is your sole husband and you later fall for someone softer and prettier?”
My resolve did not waver.
“But he’s exactly what I like.”
As the pampered youngest daughter, I resorted to rolling about and whining shamelessly.
“I like biiig pecs.”
“I want them. I want them!”
“If I can’t touch them, I’ll never sleep soundly again. Boo-hoo-hoo!”
My father still refused, but my mother finally agreed, her face grim.
Xie Tingyue was tall and powerful enough to resemble a woman. Did her daughter truly love enormous pecs—or did she simply prefer women?
Never mind.
As long as Yunzhao was willing to marry a man, Xie Tingyue would do.
My mother gave her consent and told Father to visit the general’s residence with a formal proposal the next day. The sooner the matter was settled, the better.
Father remained reluctant, but he could say no more.
No sooner had I won over my parents than my older cousin, the Crown Princess, arrived.
I had adored her all my life. She was built like a modern female athlete—strong, beautiful, and bursting with energy. That was exactly how a woman ought to look.
I had followed her everywhere since childhood and attacked whatever target she pointed out. But this time, we disagreed.
“I will not permit this marriage,” she said, her face full of pain.
She knew I idolized her, so she had mistaken my determination to marry Xie Tingyue for a sacrifice on her behalf.
“I have not sunk so low that I must trade my cousin’s happiness for the throne.”
“Yunzhao, why would you go this far?”
“If I want General Xie’s support, I can find another woman. I will make that woman swear never to take a concubine and to marry only Xie Tingyue for life.”
My expression changed at once.
Cousin, I adore you! How could you tear me away from my magnificent pair of pecs?
Betrayal. This was betrayal on a monumental scale.
“Please don’t!”
“I truly like him!”
No matter what I said, she only looked at me with indulgent pity.
Left with no other choice, I flung my arms around her and buried my face against her chest.
Kiss, kiss, kiss.
“You smell so good.”
“I’m going to faint from how good you smell!”
My cousin recoiled in horror.
At last she remembered the rumors that I preferred women and exchanged a terrified glance with my mother. In that one look, my mother’s earlier suspicion passed directly into the Crown Princess’s mind.
She shoved me away.
Finally, she was no longer certain that I had invented my love for Xie Tingyue, though instinct still urged her to keep arguing.
I opened my arms and prepared to bury my face in her again.
My cousin surrendered. With a wild sweep of her sleeve, she fled.