chapter 3

chapter 3

The next day, another argument broke out over me in the imperial study.

My head ached.

I knew perfectly well that the censor was not pressuring Fu Yanci to grant me a title out of any concern for benevolence. He simply did not want Shen Mingyue to dominate the harem and the Shen family to gain still more power at court. He wanted to use me to divide the emperor’s favor.

If I had been capable of winning that favor, I would hardly have ended up where I was.

I sighed inwardly and listened in silence.

After some time, a deep voice sounded above me.

“Sang Zhi, what do you want?”

His tone was mild, almost careless.

It was the first time he had ever asked.

My heart jolted. I stepped forward and knelt below Fu Yanci, pressing my forehead to the cold, hard floor. Its chill cleared my mind.

I spoke with calm certainty. “Your Majesty, I am twenty-three this year and have reached the age when I may leave the palace. I ask that Your Majesty grant me one hundred taels of gold so I may return home in honor.”

I had not lied to Fu Yanci.

I liked gold leaves.

And I wanted to leave.

Silence filled the room.

The censor’s expression turned ugly.

He must have assumed that, given such an opportunity, I would demand a place in the harem—a place that meant status and power.

Instead, I asked only for gold and my freedom.

He looked up at Fu Yanci with open disdain. “Your Majesty, since this palace maid seeks money as compensation, why not grant her wish and release her from the palace—”

Fu Yanci turned his head and looked at him.

The cold malice in his eyes was terrifying. The censor swallowed the rest of his words.

“Get out.”

At that low roar, the man’s knees nearly gave way. He stumbled and scrambled from the room.

I wanted to follow.

But Fu Yanci clamped a hand around my wrist. He stared down at me, his voice tight with furious resentment.

“Sang Zhi, do you have a heart at all?”

“You promised you would stay with me in this palace.”

I met his gaze and smiled faintly.

“Your Majesty, you also promised you would treat me well.”

Fu Yanci froze.

I turned his hand over and pressed it to the unhealed wound on my forehead. Blood still showed faintly through the bandage.

The color drained from his face. He recoiled as though he had touched something monstrous, his fingers trembling uncontrollably.

I spoke softly, each word distinct.

“But Your Majesty, you have not treated me well.”

The room fell silent except for the sound of our breathing.

I started to pull my hand away. Then Fu Yanci gave two bitter laughs, his low, hoarse voice forced through clenched teeth.

“Is that truly the reason, Sang Zhi?”

“Or is this about Chi Yanzhi?”

Chi Yanzhi.

He had been one of the guards assigned to watch us in the Cold Palace.

He never mistreated us. Instead, he often helped.

Once, I asked him why.

With a trace of boyishness still in his face, he smiled and said, “Sang Sang, I saw your household registration in my superior’s records. We’re from the same hometown. Of course we should look out for each other.”

I had not believed him then.

Yet throughout those years in the Cold Palace, he brought me emergency money again and again. He stopped servants who tried to humiliate me. Whenever I was hurt, he found physicians and bought medicine.

Even Fu Yanci trusted him deeply.

That was why, after taking the throne, Fu Yanci transferred Chi Yanzhi to the imperial guard and promoted him to the fifth rank.

His future was limitless.

Hearing Fu Yanci mention him so abruptly, I frowned in confusion.

Why bring up someone else now?

Then I understood.

Fu Yanci must have known how Chi Yanzhi felt about me.

I touched the peach-blossom hairpin in my hair. A rare, girlish shyness warmed my face.

It was Chi Yanzhi’s birthday gift to me.

He had made it himself.

“Sang Sang, tomorrow is your birthday. I know that, serving His Majesty, you’ve seen every treasure under heaven. This little hairpin I made must look insignificant. But you wouldn’t disdain something from me. You’ll wear it, won’t you?”

He had looked at me with such pitiful hope that I could only smile and indulge him.

“All right. I’ll wear it tomorrow. I don’t want anyone else’s.”

His face brightened at once. His dark blue guard’s uniform made him look straight and tall as a pine. Smiling, he stepped closer and slipped the hairpin into my coiffure.

He smelled faintly clean and crisp, like the lingering scent of soapberry.

My heart caught. He was too close.

But the next instant, he retreated to a respectful distance.

He looked at me and smiled. “Sang Sang, you look beautiful.”

Heat spread through my chest.

I stood there, too dazed to respond.

When I recovered, I found him watching me intently. “Sang Sang, after your birthday, shall we leave the palace and go home together?”

My eyes widened. “You’re a fifth-rank imperial guard. Your prospects are boundless—”

He cut me off, looking troubled. “I don’t understand all these schemes, or the rules of officialdom. The palace may be glorious, but all I ever feel here is fear.”

“This isn’t the life I want.”

“I haven’t seen my parents in years. I’m afraid they’ve almost forgotten what I look like.”

Then he regarded me anxiously. “Sang Sang, will you come with me?”

I did not answer for a long time.

His expression grew more dejected by the moment. Just as he forced a smile and tried to cheer me instead, I smiled too.

“All right.”

“We’ll go home together.”