Chapter 1

I’d lose consciousness completely once I turned into a zombie anyway. Thinking about any of this now was pointless.

Looking at the wide-open door across the hall, I suddenly remembered they’d bought a whole box of hairy crabs a few days ago.

Surely stealing one last crab before I became a zombie wasn’t asking too much?

I didn’t know how long it took to lose consciousness after a bite, or whether I had enough time to make a little ginger-vinegar dipping sauce.

With a full stomach, I let out a satisfied burp.

Half an hour had passed since that little brat bit me.

But my mind was perfectly clear!

Was there so much fat on my butt that his teeth hadn’t made it through?

But I’d definitely felt a sharp, piercing pain.

Was I the legendary chosen one? Did I carry the antibodies that would save all humanity?

Puzzled, I ran to the bathroom mirror.

And discovered, to my horror, that my pupils had turned gray-white.

Faint, spiderweb-like patterns were spreading over my neck, too.

Exactly like the zombies outside!

Finally, I pulled down my pants. Sure enough, there was a dark bite mark on my butt. The zombie virus had stained the surrounding blood vessels black as ink. It looked hideous.

I really had become a zombie.

What I couldn’t figure out was whether I was just slow on the uptake, or whether a virus starting in my butt needed longer to reach my brain.

Honestly, being a zombie with a mind of her own was a lot of pressure.

But this wasn’t the time to dwell on it. I’d already been bitten. All I could do was take things as they came.

Still…

I glanced at my rented apartment, and a chill went through me.

A month ago, my best friend, Liu Miao, had come to me after breaking up with her boyfriend. I’d taken her in without a second thought.

These past couple of days, I’d run myself ragged looking after her and comforting her like some old nursemaid, all to help her get over her heartbreak sooner.

And how did Liu Miao repay me?

We’d been shopping at a convenience store when the zombie virus broke out.

She was normally so delicate she couldn’t do a thing for herself. This time, she snatched the shopping bag out of my hands and took off.

In the moment I stood there stunned, she’d already left me a dozen paces behind.

Honestly, I admired Liu Miao right then.

Faced with danger, she was much calmer than I’d imagined. And… colder.

She only needed to wait three more seconds, and I could have made it inside. Instead, she locked the door and left the key in the lock on the inside. And that was how I ended up a zombie.

I’d only seen the neighbors across the hall a handful of times. I remembered a young couple who were very much in love, and a wife who was absolutely loaded.

Now their door was wide open. They’d probably been killed.

I wandered around their place for ages, eyeing all the designer bags and jewelry. Then I remembered I was a zombie now. None of that mattered anymore…

Before long, I was hungry again. Unable to resist, I cooked a packet of snail rice noodles. I’d barely taken two bites when my stomach began to burn as though it were on fire.

I rushed to the toilet and threw up.

Practically puked my guts out.

Who knew becoming a zombie would make me so delicate? Nothing hot or spicy. Only raw, cold food.

Luckily, there was half a box of sashimi in their fridge.

I held it to my mouth and slowly sucked on it for a long time before the burning in my stomach finally eased.

I was afraid to stay here too long in case someone found me. Years of zombie movies told me surviving humans would soon be out scavenging for supplies.

If they found me, they’d definitely twist my head off.

Just thinking about it was horrifying.

So I dug a small backpack out of the wardrobe and found a power bank somewhere in the apartment.

Then I charged both my phone and the power bank to full.

While they charged, I took a shower, though I didn’t dare use hot water. Afterward, I grabbed a long-sleeved top and pants from the wardrobe and put them on. I packed a few bottles of water and a couple of changes of clothes, too.

Even a zombie should have decent hygiene.

I looked at the unfinished pot of snail rice noodles. Without a second thought, I dumped it right outside Liu Miao’s door.

Only after watching the broth seep underneath did I dust off my hands and leave, thoroughly satisfied.

I didn’t encounter anyone on the way down and reached the ground floor without trouble. There wasn’t a living person left on the street. Dozens of zombies jerked their stiff bodies around like puppets.

I crouched by the entrance and studied them for ages. Once I figured I had the hang of it, I slowly blended into the crowd.

At first, a few zombies surrounded me and sniffed me hard several times before swaying away.

Finally, I could relax.

Then I wandered aimlessly down the street with them.

There were plenty of familiar faces in the crowd. At first, I greeted them enthusiastically, but none of them reacted.

Apparently, I really was the only zombie who still had a mind.

A few steps later, I spotted the little brat who’d bitten me.

His stiff little body swayed as he walked.

I hurried after him and seized my chance to give his cheeks two good, hard squeezes.

Confusion flickered through his gray-white eyes for an instant. Then he carried on walking, still mindless.

Some zombies had been bitten into bloody messes. Others looked much the same, apart from a few webbed marks on their faces.

Along the way, I spotted several handsome zombies with slim waists and long legs.

After twenty-three years of never having a boyfriend, I decided it was time to get somewhere.

I picked out one handsome zombie’s butt and gave it a hard pinch.

The way it felt! Unbelievably satisfying.

For some reason, becoming a zombie had left me very fixated on butts.

The zombie I’d pinched twisted his stiff neck and looked at me.

His unfocused, gray-white eyes were full of confusion and incomprehension.

Pair that with his handsome face.

He had a certain brainless beauty.

So I stood on tiptoe, cupped his face, and planted a kiss on him.

Flirting with zombies wasn’t against the law these days, was it?