Chapter 9

Chapter 9

I began to grow used to returning to that same day.

After enduring the initial agony, even death became an ordinary thing to me.

I would wake up, use the same man as a stepping stone, and earn a pleasant look from the madam.

Then, in tiny ways no one noticed, I would exert my influence and steer the men the madam brought in.

I knew I could find a gap at dusk and take a turn around that narrow courtyard.

I also knew that at noon, when the traveling peddler knocked on the door, he would catch the madam in a good mood, and she would buy us a little hair oil.

I knew that on the second morning, after the donkey cart delivering water left, a figure who looked half-dead would collapse at the door, only to be kicked aside as the madam cursed him at the top of her lungs.

As for whether that person was dead or alive, I did not know.

In the madam’s words, what day didn’t a few people die? Drag them out and dump them somewhere. Who cared whether anyone lived or died?

She was right.

In a place like this, no one cared whether you lived or died except yourself.

I was the same. I was too busy worrying about my own future to spare any attention for anything else.

But when you died enough times, there came a point when you wanted to go a little mad.

On some attempt I had long since lost count of, just as the madam was cursing under her breath and carrying water over to shut the door, I reached out and stopped the foot she was about to kick with.

“Mama, wait. Something’s wrong with this man.”

Without even blinking, I began making up nonsense.

“He may be dressed in rags, but he doesn’t look penniless. Look at that fine, tender skin of his. He wasn’t born to do hard labor. Maybe he’s a fallen scholar or something. What if…”

I looked at the madam with sincere eyes.

The next second, she snorted and slapped my hand away.

“Who do you think you are, some merciful bodhisattva? You don’t even know where your next meal is coming from, and you still want to worry about whether someone else lives or dies?”

The madam smashed the water bucket onto the ground and jabbed a finger straight at my forehead.

Oh. So that excuse would not work.

Understood.

Next time, I would use a different one.

Meeting her contemptuous gaze, I pitched myself headfirst into the large water vat in the corner of the courtyard.

By the time I had tried a third excuse, I finally ran out of lies.

For no other reason than that the man truly was utterly destitute. One glance was enough to see he owned nothing at all.

So on the fourth attempt, seizing the moment before the water cart had gone too far, I threw my head back and howled at the top of my lungs.

“Oh my heavens, there’s a dead man here!”

The madam clapped a hand over my mouth.

“Are you trying to get yourself killed, screaming like that?”

I struggled with all my might and dragged the man farther inside the door.

Weren’t you going to leave him to die?

Well, now this man had died inside your doorway. Were you going to deal with him or not?

The way the madam looked at me, she seemed to want to tear me apart alive and eat my flesh.

I seized the moment to flatter her.

“Who in Tongzhi Alley doesn’t know Mama has the kindest heart? This man collapsed at our door, so we’re already involved. If we don’t hurry and deal with it before anyone sees, what if trouble comes of it later and they insist on pinning it on you, Mama? That would be terrible.”

“Besides, if Mama saves him, won’t he owe Mama a favor? With another man around the courtyard to help, won’t Mama have an easier time of it? What’s more…”

I looked around, then sidled up to the madam furtively.

“Last night, when your girl got up to use the chamber pot, I accidentally overheard the neighbors talking. They said…”

I slid straight down along the madam’s leg and knelt before her.

“Mama, please don’t hit me. Your girl’s fortune and misfortune are tied to yours. I’m truly only thinking of what is best for Mama. I absolutely would never hide anything from you, Mama. That’s why I risked my life to tell you.”

After dying so many times, I knew all too well how to deal with the madam.

In another quarter of an hour, the fried cake stall across the way would open, the butcher’s wife next door would open her window to throw out water, and the watchman patrolling the street would pass by.

With a living, breathing man lying at her feet in full view of everyone, there was no way she would want to invite that kind of trouble.