chapter 2

Tang He drove me to the mall.

The sales assistant kept glancing between us, and I regretted coming almost immediately. My childhood swimsuit no longer fit, but I had never imagined Tang He would bring me shopping for a new one himself.

Faced with racks of revealing swimsuits, even he finally realized how awkward this was. He cleared his throat, muttered, “I’ll wait outside,” and left.

I breathed a sigh of relief.

The assistant asked excitedly, “Is that your boyfriend? He’s so handsome!”

I looked toward the entrance. Tang He was on the phone, brow faintly furrowed. Beneath the bright lights, his skin looked even paler and his eyes darker.

“He’s not my boyfriend,” I said quietly.

My mood vanished. I grabbed one of the suits she recommended, paid in a hurry, and went outside.

I heard Tang He say into his phone, “Enough. This matter ends here.” His tone was far from pleasant.

When he saw me, he hung up and deliberately softened his voice. “Done? Let’s go.”

We were already driving again when it occurred to me. “I don’t think I told Mom or my stepfather I was going out.”

Eyes on the traffic ahead, Tang He said casually, “Don’t worry. They’re at the hospital. They don’t have the attention to spare right now.”

I turned to him nervously. “The hospital? Why? Is Mom sick?”

Thinking of how they had been leaving early and coming home late lately, my heart went cold.

Tang He seemed to realize he had said too much. He struck the steering wheel in frustration, paused, then said, “She isn’t sick. Your mother is pregnant.”

She was pregnant.

Even Tang He knew, yet I—her own daughter—didn’t.

I couldn’t name what I felt. I said, “Oh,” and slowly turned away.

Strangely, the halos around the traffic lights swelled until they blurred into a shapeless glow.

I shouldn’t cry. This was good news.

But never had I understood so clearly that one day her threat—”Go back and live with your father”—might become real.

Mom would have a second child. She would give that child all the love she used to give me, holding nothing back.

That child probably wouldn’t be scolded. They would be greeted with smiles instead of anger, wouldn’t they?

Countless guesses drifted through my mind like bubbles, then spilled from my eyes.

The light turned green, but for some reason Tang He didn’t move. He only looked at me, seeming to want to speak. The car behind us honked impatiently. Still visibly angry, Tang He lowered his window and snapped, “Stop honking!”

Then he floored the accelerator.

I froze, tears trapped in my eyes, too frightened to move.

Noticing my expression, Tang He gradually relaxed and slowed the car. “I’m sorry,” he said carefully.

In the dim interior, his dark eyes were full of remorse.

At those words, my tears began falling uncontrollably.

Without a word, he took tissues from the glove compartment and handed them to me.

“I’m sorry,” I said as I wiped my face.

I shouldn’t cry in front of you. I shouldn’t cry over this, and I certainly shouldn’t make you apologize.

I’m sorry. I’m sorry.

Tang He turned off the engine and stopped the car. Then he cut me off. “You don’t need to apologize.”

A cold wind blew outside. His gaze was solemn. “Being afraid of loss and frightened of the future are both normal feelings. You never need to apologize for them.”

My tears had almost stopped, but they began to fall again. I wiped them away frantically and told him—and myself—”I can’t be this weak.”

Tang He rested a hand on the steering wheel and answered with complete seriousness. “Of course you can. You’re seventeen. You’re still a child, and children have the right to cry and ask to be comforted.”

I stared at him blankly.

All my life, people had told me to be sensible. This was the first time anyone had said I was allowed to cry.

Someone rapped on the window. Tang He lowered it, revealing a smiling, round face.

“What are you doing? I saw you drive in ages ago. Why haven’t you gotten out? Don’t tell me you’re fooling around in the car with some pretty girl—”

“Shut up,” Tang He said under his breath.

The man was clearly accustomed to his coldness and kept teasing him. “Hey, I haven’t seen this young lady before. Tang He, don’t tell me you’ve already found another girlfr—”

I raised my head in confusion, my swollen red eyes meeting his. His words died in his throat.

Tang He rubbed his temple helplessly. “Can you behave normally for once? She’s my niece.”

After I composed myself, I followed Tang He out of the car. His friend, Chen Song, apologized to me the entire way.

“It’s all right,” I said softly.

Then I heard him whisper to Tang He, “Why did you bring your niece? Liang Qian is here. Won’t she be insanely jealous?”

Tang He shot back, “What does it matter to her whom I bring?”

“Come on, she was your first love. Of course it matters.”

His first love?

Without realizing it, I tightened my grip on my shopping bag.

Tang He ignored the question and glanced back at me. “The path ahead is gravel. Watch your step.”

Soon I saw Liang Qian. She had already changed into a swimsuit despite the cold and waved to us from a distance. “Tang He, you’re here.”

She had a beautiful, curvaceous figure that made me painfully conscious of my own.

Chen Song nudged Tang He. “See? I told you she still has feelings for you.”

Tang He ignored him and merely answered Liang Qian with an indifferent, “Mm.”

I had been trailing silently behind them when Tang He took my wrist and pulled me forward.

“Liang Qian, this is my niece. She hasn’t been in the water for years. Please keep an eye on her.”

Liang Qian studied me thoughtfully before smiling. “She’s practically grown, yet you make her sound like a little girl.”

She came over and draped an arm around my shoulders, which put her beside Tang He instead.

“Let’s go, Niece.” She deliberately stressed the final word, smiled, then added, “I forgot to tell you: the two hot-spring pools I booked are right next to each other.”

By the time I emerged from the changing room, Tang He and Chen Song were already in their pool. Hidden by the curling steam, I stole a look at them.

“Niece, there are steps over here,” Liang Qian called.

Both men in the other pool raised their heads. Tang He caught me looking, and my face instantly burned. Fortunately, he seemed not to notice and only tipped his chin toward me.

As I walked toward Liang Qian, I heard Chen Song murmur, “Your niece’s swimsuit is a little too…”

I missed the rest. Whatever Tang He did made Chen Song cough and protest, “Why did you splash me?”

“My hand slipped,” Tang He said calmly.

When Liang Qian saw what I was wearing, she looked surprised too. “Why did you choose that style?”

I twisted my fingers, close to tears.

Would you believe me if I told you I’d simply grabbed a white one at random? I truly hadn’t realized it was a bikini.

Thankfully, Liang Qian said nothing more. She closed her eyes and stopped looking at me. I copied her and slowly lowered myself into the water.

It was slightly too hot, but wonderfully soothing.

Little by little, the sounds around me faded. Strange fragments appeared in my mind, some memories and others dreams.

I dreamed Mom was leading me through the snow, our feet sinking with every step. I wanted her to carry me, only to discover she already held a baby in her arms.

Then I dreamed a gale was howling while the family celebrated downstairs. I sat alone in the study, listening as the elders handed out New Year’s gift envelopes to the children.

No one called my name. No one cared where I was.

When I jerked awake, I was alone in the pool. Tang He stood beside me with one hand still on my shoulder, looking down at me.

I met his gaze dazedly. “Uncle Tang…”

He wore only swim trunks, though perhaps for propriety’s sake he had thrown on a robe. Its belt was loose, however, and the collar hung open. When he bent over me, I could see everything clearly: droplets clinging to his collarbones, the taut muscles below, and farther down—

My face flamed. Fortunately, I could blame the hot spring.

Tang He seemed not to notice. He reached out, brushing his thumb beneath my eye. Only then did I realize I had been crying in my sleep.

He pressed his lips together but said nothing about it. “Falling asleep in a hot spring is dangerous. You could suffocate.”

He handed me a cup of warm water. “Drink all of it. You need to rehydrate.”

I gulped it down, then remembered to ask, “Where are the other two?”

“They went drinking.”

“Then why didn’t you go?”

He raised an eyebrow, almost smiling. “If I left, who would look after the minor?”