Chapter 4

Chapter 4

It was a very old book, and the writing within was quite juvenile. It was the first book he had ever hand-copied, titled the “Thousand Character Classic.” I had never spent a single day in a schoolroom, so he patiently began teaching me from the very first word, “Tian,” from the opening line “Tian Di Xuan Huang.”

Zhao Qingzhu was a diligent student. He had a set schedule for every hour of the day, so he used the time after lunch-when he was supposed to be napping-to teach me.

During those six months, Sister Xianglan had already married into our family, so naturally, he ate his meals at our house too. The two of us would always bolt down our food and move to a small side table to bury our heads in study. He would teach me for an hour and then assign enough homework to keep me busy all afternoon.

I was a wild child by nature and began to feel constrained after only a few days. But before I could give up, I overheard my father and mother whispering late one night.

My father ran his hand over the book I’d left on the table and chided me to my mother. “You’ve spoiled her. She doesn’t even know to put something this precious away in her room. It’s a complete waste of Qingzhu’s heart. I was worried they wouldn’t have anything to talk about later in life and was thinking of letting Ya’er study with Hu Tongsheng for a couple of years, but Qingzhu took care of it himself. He’s capable and is even pulling our daughter upward-he shows a real sense of responsibility.”

My mother smiled as she chimed in, “Isn’t that the truth? Xianglan said she knows that book too and offered to teach, but Qingzhu refused. He wants to spend more time with our Ya’er. Spending time together is good; only then can she leave an impression in his heart. Look at our eldest son-he adored his wife for so many years, and now that he’s married her, he really knows how to cherish her.

“But Xianglan is a good one too. I saw she copied a version of that book herself and is currently teaching our eldest to read. This marriage alliance… aside from being expensive, it’s perfect in every single way.”

At the mention of money, my father’s face fell slightly. “Yes, it was expensive. If it weren’t, it wouldn’t have been our turn. Enough talk, let’s get to bed. We have to keep earning that agonizing money tomorrow.”

After they left, I hugged that book and took it back to my room. So, the reason he was teaching me to read was that he wanted to give me something good, and he insisted on giving it to me personally. Since it was a good thing, I couldn’t let myself lose out by not learning it.

Zhao Qingzhu said I was very clever and that I mastered that book faster than his Elder Sister had. But by the time I had learned it all, I found myself wishing I wasn’t quite so smart-because he was leaving.

My Sister-in-law coaxed me, saying that although he couldn’t come home often while studying in the County Seat, I could now write letters to him. He also told me privately that Hu Tongsheng was his master and had promised to take over his role in teaching me.

On the day of his departure, Zhao Qingzhu spoke to me solemnly. “Ya’er, one letter every month from now on. You must tell me exactly what you’ve learned. This is our promise, and one must always keep their word.”

I nodded with great gravity, but honestly, all that formal prose was incredibly boring. Those books weren’t like learning basic characters; Hu Tongsheng only made me memorize things. He wasn’t like Zhao Qingzhu, who could tell so many interesting stories. He even argued righteously that memorization was the foundation for the imperial examinations. He was only a Tongsheng, after all; he claimed that if he could explain the classics with deep historical allusions, he would have become a Xiucai long ago and wouldn’t be back in the village.

He was honest, and I honestly curled my lip. “But I’m not taking the imperial exams. What’s the use of memorizing this?”

Poor man, he was so old, yet I made his beard quiver with rage. He stayed angry for two days before digging out a book on the “Three Obediences and Four Virtues” from his house. He tossed it in front of me and said, “I forgot, you’re a girl; you won’t be taking the exams. I bought this the year I first became a father, thinking if I had a daughter, I’d teach her this. Sadly, I never had a girl in this life, so consider yourself lucky.”

That book was a piece of work. I read it for three days and was fuming for three days straight. No wonder no girl dared to be reincarnated into his family. According to that book, women like my mother and Sister-in-law-who would twist their husbands’ ears and make the big decisions at home-should be put in a pig cage and drowned in the river. Eventually, I got so angry that I actually threw the book into the river to “drown” it.

My mother chased me and beat me for several days, scolding me as she did. “You wasteful brat! That was paper! Even using it to start a fire in the stove would have been better than throwing it in the river just to hear a splash!”

My Sister-in-law hid her smile behind her hand, but later told me in private, “Mother is only hitting you for Hu Tongsheng’s benefit. After all, he meant well. She actually doesn’t want you learning that stuff. For a woman to learn those things, she’ll only end up suffering.”

I couldn’t keep things to myself, so I wrote all these troubles to Zhao Qingzhu, asking him if he would be very angry if I stopped studying.

This time, it took a long time for him to reply.

Our letters were delivered by a peddler from two villages over. That peddler went to set up his stall near the City God Temple on the first and fifteenth of every month. The school wasn’t far from the temple, so for a single copper coin, it was on his way.

I asked the peddler, “Has he lost weight?”

The peddler scratched his head. “I’m a grown man, how would I notice if he’s thin or not? But he did have two big dark circles under his eyes. One look and you can tell he’s been losing sleep over some worry.”

Hearing that made me even more anxious. I gritted my teeth and opened the letter. He had written in his neat hand:

[Ya’er, I hope you are well, and everyone at home is well. I have received word of your troubles. At first, I truly did not understand and wrote several pages trying to tell you the benefits of study. But this morning, I suddenly had a realization. Even the nine sons of the dragon are each different, so why should we be any different? Studying is my ambition; it does not necessarily have to be yours. Our exchange of books may cease, but the monthly letter must not. Even if it is just to tell me that you spent the day staring blankly at a flower, that is enough.]

He always tried to keep his letters to me simple, but this one made me the happiest. He didn’t blame me, and he was still willing to hear about my daily life.

So, I began to write in detail. From the time I was small, I loved planting things. When I was little and lacked strength, I would dig holes in the yard to plant flowers and grass. Now that I was stronger, I carried a hoe every day to follow my father along the field ridges or help my mother tend the vegetable garden.

These were all very trivial matters. Fearing I might forget, I bought the cheapest possible paper from the peddler and used charred twigs as charcoal to record things every day. Then, I would send the most interesting few days to Zhao Qingzhu as my letter.