Chapter 8

My marks had fallen badly.

At first the mathematics, physics, and chemistry teachers were frantic. By the time the late-June practice results arrived, they had wilted like leaves in the heat and given up.

I suddenly noticed how much their eyes held.

Pity, reproach, regret.

Only I seemed heartless, still reading casual books and magazines. They kept confiscating them, and Sun Heng kept bringing more.

In those years, the entrance exam was still held in the hottest part of July.

The heat and humidity steamed everyone into restlessness. They complained they would never finish studying, while wishing the exams would come and be done.

After a rainstorm, the exams finally arrived.

The school had to clear out the exam rooms beforehand, and even boarding pupils had to go home.

Mr. Sun invited me to stay at his house. I refused.

For one thing, he probably knew about Sun Heng and me. Staying together would be awkward.

For another, his house was small, and Mrs. Sun needed rest after her illness. I couldn’t take over their bedroom.

I said someone at home would take me to the exams. Only then did he agree.

He told me to stay calm. Even if I couldn’t get into a prestigious university, a vocational college would be good too.

I nodded and carried my bags home.

My aunt was tremendously excited. She had cooked a tableful of dishes worthy of New Year’s Eve.

Erya’s eyes nearly popped out. She reached for a rib with her chopsticks.

My aunt slapped her hand away. “Ungrateful girl! Don’t you know your brother’s taking his exams tomorrow? All this is to nourish him. You two can eat after he’s finished!”

Erya pouted. “Why? My cousin’s taking them tomorrow too!”

My aunt laughed. “With all those zeros, she thinks she can compare herself to your brother?”

“I went up the mountain to consult the master. The god of scholarship is watching over your brother. He’s bound to get in!”

Erya turned her head away. “So what? Mr. Sun said my cousin’s a genius.”

My aunt struck her with her chopsticks before she had finished. “Genius? Can’t you tell a compliment from an insult? He meant she was born a fool.”

Annoyed by their quarrel, Lin Wu slapped the table and shouted, “Are you going to let me eat or not?”

Only then did my aunt stop.

I stayed in the inner room and sewed my identification papers into an inside pocket of my clothes.

I checked my stationery and clock over and over.

I had never learned to cycle. I would have to leave two hours early to reach the exam on time.

I was working through the next day’s arrangements in my head when another commotion began outside.

Lin Wu was shouting for me to come and eat.

I was surprised. He rarely spoke to me.

My aunt had gone out, and Erya was lying on her bed in a sulk.

Lin Wu forced a smile. “Huisheng, come and eat.”

“I know you’re much smarter than me. That romance with Sun Heng has held you back, but you’ve still got the foundations.”

“Eat plenty and do your best tomorrow. I’m going to rest.”

Alone, I looked at the dishes picked over into a mess and the mosquitoes and flies buzzing around them. I had no appetite.

I ate half a bowl of plain rice, then cleared the table.

I had meant to sleep early. But for some reason I felt uneasy and lay tossing and turning.

At last I got up, found an old mathematics paper I had done before, and bent over it with my pen.

It was a difficult paper. I had only finished one major question when my head began to grow heavy.

My eyelids grew heavier still. The oil lamp on the table flickered, its leaping flame like a monster baring its claws and teeth, dragging me into a nightmare without daylight.