Chapter 3

I’d never been right in the head, even as a child.

Father said giving birth to me had ruined Mother’s health, so she could never have another child.

As a wife, he said, failing to continue the Wei family line was a grave breach of filial duty.

Looking at Mother as she wept in silence, I found his argument quite convincing. The next day, I kidnapped his superior’s son.

When Father returned from his official duties, he found me waiting outside our gates with a little fat boy I had beaten black and blue, who was bawling his eyes out.

I kicked him, and he immediately sobbed, “Father.”

I clapped my hands with delight. “Congratulations, Father! You’re a father again!”

His superior’s face darkened on the spot. Father received a furious rebuke, and someone else got the promotion meant for him.

Then Father said that, for the sake of his career, he had no choice but to demote his wife to a concubine and marry a high official’s daughter. He had wronged us, he said, and could only repay us in his next life.

So on the day the new bride entered our home, I offered her tea before the assembled guests and asked my stepmother, quite fluently:

“Are you the stepmother Father spoke of, who coveted a married man, shamelessly offered herself to him, secretly conceived his child, and forced him to marry her?”

Every eye fell involuntarily upon the slightly swollen waist beneath her skirts. My stepmother’s eyes reddened with anger. She raised her hand and slapped Father.

Father helplessly protested that I had made it all up. He received only contemptuous looks.

“Your daughter’s only six. She’s a child! Would she lie?”

After Mother died, I was sent to the country estate. The vicious servants not only withheld my food and clothing but beat and cursed me. The steward’s lame son would also sneak into my room.

I bided my time for six years. Only when everyone believed my madness had passed did I take an axe to his feet on our wedding night. Grinning, I said:

“There! Now they match. You’ll never limp again!”

While everyone was in an uproar, I fled the estate that night. I had meant to fight my way through the Wei household, but while I was paying respects to Mother’s grave, Father ambushed me and dosed me with muscle-weakening powder.

He and my stepmother had meant to marry me into some filthy household where I would be tortured to death, ending their troubles. They hadn’t expected my reputation as a sickly beauty to spread through the capital and bring the marquis’s family to our door with a proposal.

A close call! I nearly thought I was in for a life of comfort. Fortunately, no one in the marquis’s household was any good either.

What more was there to say?

Thank you, Father, for bringing me fresh heads!

The fire grew. Thick smoke billowed, and noise rose outside. The Xiao servants brought a fire pump to put it out. Hope lit Ji Furong’s eye, and she crawled toward the door on her hands and knees.

I picked up a curtain hook, weighed it in my hand, and caught her long hair from behind.

…

Instinctively she raised her hands to protect her belly, her face filled with horror.

I looked down at her and giggled. “So that precious old ginseng wasn’t for me? Then no one gets to eat it!”

Ji Furong’s eye rolled back. She fainted from sheer fright.

Then I set a piece of wood alight and pressed it against Xiao Zhuye’s calf.

“Aaagh!”

The pain dragged him awake. Smelling the burned flesh of his right leg, he thrashed like a fish being flayed alive. Veins bulged as he cursed:

“Wei Qiao! You poisonous bitch! I’ll divorce—mmph!”

I shoved the roasted bird’s eggs into his mouth and clamped my hand over it. Laughing softly beside his ear, I said:

“I hear the marquis has plenty of children. If he learns his son here can no longer father any, do you think he’ll still leave the title to you?”

Terror crept into Xiao Zhuye’s eyes. His throat moved. Instinctively he swallowed with a gulp.

I let go. Watching him claw at his throat and try to vomit in agony, I covered my mouth and nose with a damp handkerchief in distaste.

Smiling, I returned his earlier kindness. “Still overheated, my husband? Shall your wife cool you off?”

His eyes churned with ferocity and deep fear. He trembled with rage, his chest heaving, yet couldn’t utter a word.

I pressed my advantage. “Oh, I’d forgotten! Your cock’s flown and your eggs are broken!”

He failed to catch his breath. His body went rigid, and he fainted again.

Tsk. He was no fun at all.