Chapter 5
This was the second time she had said those words.
Unlike before, my circumstances had been turned completely upside down.
Looking back now, all that talk about my privileges as a well-bred young lady sounded utterly ridiculous.
Xu Liuzhao wiped the tears clinging to the corners of my eyes. When I continued to stare at her blankly, she gripped my shoulders.
“Cheng Qingqing, listen carefully. What I’m about to tell you will sound completely fantastical, but it’s true.”
She told me that the world I lived in was the setting of a book called *The Pampered Canary*.
According to that book, I was a well-bred young lady who observed every rule of propriety, and my fame as the capital’s greatest beauty had spread throughout the city.
After I married Lin Zhao, I happened to meet the emperor, Si Changze, and the chancellor, Xiao Zhuo. Both men began to covet me.
They found opportunities to force themselves upon me. They threatened and enticed me into hiding everything from Lin Zhao, then used it to coerce me into doing many inconceivable things, blaming every one of them on me.
When the truth finally came to light, Lin Zhao decided I had behaved indecently. He tormented me until I became gravely ill and remained unconscious for days, barely clinging to life.
“When you woke up, all three men were gathered around you, asking which one you would choose. You said you had fallen in love with all three and could not bear to give up any of them, so they decided to share you. But the Censorate learned of the arrangement. The memorials impeaching you became too numerous, and you couldn’t bear to see your ‘lovers’ suffer, so you drowned yourself in a lake.”
Xu Liuzhao continued, “Naturally, all three men were devastated after your death. So tragic. They lived to a ripe old age and kept all their power, but they had lost their true love forever.”
Her last sentence dripped with undisguised mockery.
I remained rooted to the spot. It took me a long time to recover enough to say, “How… how could that be possible?”
It was preposterous.
Everyone in the capital knew of Lin Zhao’s brilliant military achievements. The chancellor was a virtuous minister, and the emperor was a wise sovereign. How could they possibly do such things?
Besides, from beginning to end, Lin Zhao was the only man who had grown up with me and shared my heart.
Xu Liuzhao seemed to see through my thoughts. “It’s precisely because the world sees them as loyal ministers and a wise ruler that, once it happens, everything will become your fault.”
“What did I do wrong?”
“Exactly. What did you do wrong?”
Xu Liuzhao gazed steadily at me. Her voice was not loud, yet every word struck like thunder. “Cheng Qingqing, they lusted after your beauty. They are selfish and vile, yet they place every bit of blame on you. In the end, they even make you bear the consequence of death…”
My mind descended into chaos. It was as though the world that had taken shape within me over eighteen years had been overturned by her in a single night. Instinctively, I tried to escape from it.
I forced myself to say, “But according to you, they all love me. They grieve after I die…”
“Yes, they love you—the way they would love a bolt of exquisitely woven brocade, or a radiant jade scepter. In their eyes, you are cloth, jewelry, a symbol of power, another trophy. The one thing you are not is a person.”
A faint voice in my mind said she was right.
Whatever the future might hold, what had happened tonight proved at least one thing: the emperor truly harbored vile intentions toward me.
At the thought, I gathered myself and tried to rise so I could thank Xu Liuzhao.
But she pressed down on my shoulder and shook her head. “Fasten the cloak. I’ll take you back to your room. No one else will ever learn what happened tonight.”