Chapter 5

Chapter 5

The moment I left the Princess Consort’s courtyard, my first instinct was to go find Prince Hongyang and complain.

But before I had taken more than a few steps, I knew that wouldn’t work.

And after I complained, then what?

Why would he take my side?

Not only did he have concubines at home, he had intimate female friends like Lady Mei outside as well. He probably thought it was perfectly normal for a man to have three wives and four concubines. What use would it be to go to him?

Did I even have the right to act spoiled and complain to him?

But I was furious. Was I just supposed to swallow it?

I didn’t know where to go, and I didn’t want to return to my previous courtyard. After all, it wasn’t really mine.

My legs refused to obey me, refusing to stop, and I wandered back and forth between the front and rear courtyards.

Afraid someone would see me losing my composure, I could only look for somewhere to hide among the rockeries.

I thought about how, these past two years, everyone in the Qi Family had held me in such high regard. It had given me a rare sense of belonging, made me feel I had truly married into the right family, made me want to repay their kindness and treat them all as my own kin. Thinking about it now, I had been so stupid it was laughable…

Then I thought about how, a few days ago, Qi Wei had suddenly and awkwardly praised me, saying I was beautiful, virtuous, and capable, and that marrying me was his good fortune. After confirming he was serious, I had even decided I would like him a little more. I hadn’t expected it was because he felt guilty and ashamed…

And my mother-in-law too. No wonder she had been impossible to find these days, appearing and disappearing like a dragon that showed its head but not its tail. So she had been avoiding me…

What was all this for?

Did they think I was too lowly to be presentable, and that clinging to the Princess Consort’s thigh was the only reliable path?

…

My mind began to spiral into wild thoughts, and the more I thought, the more wronged I felt.

I was so angry at the Princess Consort, Qi Wei, and my mother-in-law that I wanted to cry. I kept pushing deeper into the rockery, but just as the tears were about to come, I felt it wasn’t worth it. Unconsciously, I picked at the stones of the rockery and stared blankly at a stagnant pool of water tucked inside.
“Ahem.”

I jolted in fright. I hadn’t expected someone to be in such an out-of-the-way corner. I hurriedly turned my back to wipe away my tears and snot, only to accidentally knock my head against the rockery.

“Hiss-”

My footing slipped, and I tilted to one side. A hand reached out and steadied me firmly.

I had been about to scold whoever dared to be so improper, but when I turned around, I hadn’t expected it to be Siyuan’s fiancé, Li Huaiyi.

The Empress’s nephew. A young nobleman of distinguished status who had never suffered much hardship, so he always liked playing the good man, calling me “Sister Ming” every other sentence, truly treating Siyuan and me like real sisters.

I wanted to shake him off and, as before, toss him a few cutting, sarcastic remarks. In any case, he wouldn’t get angry.

But when the words reached my lips, I looked at the concern in his eyes and recalled all the little moments we had shared before. In that instant, countless possibilities exploded in my mind at once.

It was as if I saw Lady Mei leaning against a door, lazily waving a fan as she said, “So young, yet you already know how to fool silly boys. I really don’t know who you take after.”

I had never cared.

Anyone I could fool was someone who had come running of his own accord.

Did they think I couldn’t tell who had feelings for me? That wasn’t my fault.

Li Huaiyi…

Looking at the face Siyuan yearned for day and night, now less than half a foot away, a heap of wicked ideas flashed through my heart in an instant. I was so excited my hands and feet went numb, and I even began imagining the Princess Consort so furious she lost all composure, and Siyuan wailing her heart out.

Despicable methods might be looked down on, but they were effective. And I truly knew how to use them.

If they wouldn’t let me be happy, then none of us would be happy!

…

I sank into fantasies of the future, even imagining how I might die someday. But just as I was picturing how Siyuan would torment my child, and how my child would retaliate in turn, that strange sense of déjà vu cooled my feverish head all at once.

It was as if I saw a ring linking Lady Mei, the Princess Consort, me, and Siyuan together.

When would resentment ever end if we kept paying it back with resentment?

No.

I realized that, at the root, I was not on equal footing with them.

With a single word from the Princess Consort, my life could be turned upside down. In the future, no matter how much pain Siyuan suffered, she would still be a noble lady of the same rank as the Princess Consort.

Just because she was taking a concubine for Qi Wei, was I supposed to stake everything on scheming my revenge?

It wasn’t worth going that far.

I still had hope for the future. I would not do something that hurt the enemy a hundred while costing myself a thousand.

How big a deal was this, really? If I couldn’t afford to provoke them, I could at least avoid them.

As for Qi Wei-if I couldn’t deal with the Princess Consort, did that mean I couldn’t deal with him?