Chapter 1

Jinshu was a hard-hearted woman.

For as long as I could remember, she had allowed me only three mouthfuls of side dishes and one mouthful of rice at each meal.

To keep from starving, I learned to swallow a whole bowl of rice in one mouthful.

When Jinshu caught me, she neither hit nor scolded me. She simply made me kneel before that bare memorial tablet.

When I was little and knew no better, I would cry at the injustice.

Once I knew better, she no longer had to tell me. I counted out the grains of rice myself and never ate a single one too many.

Besides keeping me hungry, Jinshu brewed bitter medicines for me to drink.

She said they would slow my growth so that even the most experienced imperial physician could not tell my age by examining me.

At first, Jinshu had meant to take a knife to my face, too. Luckily, I grew to look more and more like Empress Wang, and was spared that particular pain.

Once everything was ready, Jinshu killed herself, swiftly and cleanly. I did not even have time to cry.

I had barely put her in the ground when someone arrived from the palace.

He was an old eunuch with a kindly face.

I thought he must be very happy to see me.

His expression did not change at all, but his ears trembled a little.

Jinshu had said people’s ears only trembled when they were terribly excited.

The old eunuch introduced himself as Eunuch Wang, Keeper of the Seal in the Directorate of Ceremonial. He had come to take me back to the palace.

He said I was the late empress’s daughter, a princess of imperial blood.

Who would turn down a stroke of luck like that? I promptly followed him into the little gold-trimmed sedan chair.

They carried it all the way from the palace gates to the imperial study.

Eunuch Wang said this was an extraordinary mark of favor. No one had ever enjoyed such an honor before.

When you’re the only one who gets something, you’d better keep your head down instead of getting pleased with yourself.

That was his warning to me. I thanked him solemnly and followed him into the study.

The emperor’s study was shabbier than I had imagined, with hardly a glittering ornament in sight. It wasn’t pretty at all.

The emperor, on the other hand, was quite handsome: fair and clean-cut, and too young-looking to be a father.

At the sight of me, a foolish expression came over his face. He dropped his vermilion brush on the floor.

I picked it up and held it out. Then I remembered Jinshu’s instructions, added my other hand, and offered it with both.

But he did not take it. His whole body was shaking badly.

So emperors cried, too. He made no sound, though; all I could hear was his tears dropping onto the paper.

“You look so much like your mother!”

What a thing to say. If I hadn’t, Jinshu really would have taken a knife to my face!

I stared blankly as he cried.

Watching his reddened eyes and trembling lashes, I somehow began to feel sorrowful myself.

I wondered whether Jinshu was cold, or hungry.

At that thought, I began to cry, too.

Beside us, Eunuch Wang clasped his hands and sighed. “Your Majesty, the bond between father and daughter runs deep indeed. When you weep, Her Little Highness feels your pain.”

The emperor looked at me, first smiling, then suddenly growing angry:

“That treacherous servant Jinshu abducted an imperial child, then mistreated my daughter! Look how thin she’s kept you! How conveniently she died. If she hadn’t, I’d have had her flayed!”

I shuddered. Jinshu really had timed her death well.

In the short time it took a stick of incense to burn, this emperor had cried, laughed, and raged. He was like the star of an opera troupe, a master of changing faces.