Chapter 5

# Chapter 5

Unlike the Crown Princess and me, who had grown up riding and shooting, Senior Concubine Shen was a renowned lady of the capital. Managing a household and presiding over family banquets came as naturally to her as breathing. She had grown up with the Crown Prince and, when no one else was around, called him “cousin.”

To outsiders, that single, simple word made her seem far closer to him than either of us.

Her calligraphy was as forceful as her appearance was delicate. Instead of dainty regular script, she wrote wild cursive, her brush sweeping across the paper with the strength of a dragon or snake.

I had seen her copies of ancient masters. Their power was like a blade cleaving water; one could only admire them. Some people did not need swords, for brush and ink served them just as well. After entering the Eastern Palace, she presented a piece of calligraphy to the Empress, who in turn showed it to the Emperor. I heard that even His Majesty praised it. Delighted, the Empress rewarded her with a purple-gold inkstone.

The inkstone possessed an illustrious history. Su Mo, a great calligrapher of the previous dynasty, had once used it. A goat-hair brush made by his own hand had also survived through the years.

Long ago, hoping to encourage the Crown Prince in his studies, the Emperor gave him that brush. A century after brush and inkstone were separated, they had come together again-one in the Crown Prince’s hands, the other in Senior Concubine Shen’s. Naturally, people celebrated the coincidence as a romantic tale.

Once, the Crown Princess went to the study to bring the Crown Prince white fungus soup and happened to find Senior Concubine Shen inside.

She remained there for a quarter of an hour and emerged smiling as pleasantly as ever.

Afterward, however, she hired a famous cook from the capital and began earnestly learning how to make that one bowl of soup.

In time, her soup became exquisite-soft enough to melt on the tongue, fragrant, and sweet. Yet for some reason, I still missed the coarse soup she used to make.

The Crown Princess had changed.

She was the future Empress, and everything she did had to be perfect.

With a Senior Concubine beneath her whose calligraphy had no equal, she could no longer laugh away her own poor cooking as an intimate joke between husband and wife.

She could lose neither her place as Crown Princess nor her husband’s heart.

She had to tolerate others and command their respect.

The weather grew hotter by the day, and the Crown Princess’s pregnancy began to show. The child was troublesome despite being only two or three months along, leaving her unable to keep food down.

In a matter of days, she had visibly lost weight.

Senior Concubine Shen sent many precious tonics, but the Crown Princess touched none of them.

“They are all exceedingly rare,” she told me with a smile. “Whatever I eat comes back up within moments. It would be a shame to waste them.”

That was what she said. I suspected she simply did not dare consume anything Senior Concubine Shen sent.

Even though the imperial physicians had examined every item.

The Crown Princess could not share the Crown Prince’s bed while pregnant.

Yet he spent more nights in her rooms than before.

No one else in the Eastern Palace enjoyed such singular devotion. But life could not be lived with the doors shut against the world.

The Empress summoned the Crown Prince one day. That very night, he slept in Senior Concubine Shen’s rooms.

Senior Concubine Shen was the Empress’s niece. If the Empress wished to preserve the glory of her maternal clan, her niece had to bear children.

Though Xiao Ce’an had been named heir early, his brothers were formidable men. To ascend the throne without incident, he would eventually require his maternal grandfather’s family’s support in court.

The logic was so simple that even I understood it. How could the Crown Princess fail to?

Yet any woman would grieve if she were suffering through pregnancy, unable to eat, while her husband lay in another woman’s bed.

I did not know what the Crown Princess felt.

But if it had been me, I would have been heartbroken.

From that time forward, I warned myself never to fall in love with the Crown Prince.

Once I gave him my heart, there would be no salvation.

He spent several nights in my rooms as well.

The Crown Princess’s morning sickness was severe, and the imperial physician insisted that she rest. The household affairs normally in her hands were therefore entrusted to me for the time being.

In truth, Senior Concubine Shen was far better suited to managing the household.

But the Crown Prince was no fool. He could see the undercurrents beneath the outward civility between her and the Crown Princess.

The Empress had already lectured him into visiting Senior Concubine Shen more often. If he also handed her control of the household, the Crown Princess could hardly avoid suspecting the worst.

No domestic matter, however important, outweighed the safety of an imperial grandchild.

The Crown Prince was busy with affairs of state. When he returned home, he still had to navigate among several women. Even in my rooms, he found no peace.

I had far too many questions for him.

I had traveled to the Central Plains for this marriage and knew little about the countless details of running such a household. I did not wish to disturb the Crown Princess and certainly could not ask Senior Concubine Shen. So whenever I caught the Crown Prince, I questioned him without mercy.

Each time he left my rooms, dark circles shadowed his eyes. To outsiders, he looked as if I had exhausted him in an entirely different fashion.

One evening, he planned to spend the night with me. Just before the lamps were extinguished, word came that the Crown Princess was suffering pain in her abdomen. She had a strong nature and never complained lightly, so he immediately changed his plans and went to see her.

I had already removed my hair ornaments, but courtesy demanded that I escort him out. As I turned back from the doorway, I saw Senior Concubine Shen standing silently at the far end of the covered corridor with a wind lantern in her hand.

The sight of her alone at that hour startled me.

I approached and asked why she was wandering without even a maid.

She smiled and said she could not sleep. Seeing the light in my courtyard, she had followed it here.

She gazed in the direction the Crown Prince had gone and asked whether something was wrong with the Crown Princess.

I nodded. “She is somewhat unwell, but an imperial physician has come from the palace, and His Highness has gone to see her. Nothing serious should happen.”

Senior Concubine Shen sighed softly. “The Crown Princess is truly blessed.”

Perhaps I imagined it, but I thought I heard hatred beneath her words.

For some reason, I again remembered those bloodstained mandarin ducks. Endurance pushed to its limit no longer resembled a blessing. It looked more like a resentful curse.

All I knew of Senior Concubine Shen and the Crown Prince was that she had loved him for many years. She was a famous prodigy in the capital, accomplished in zither, chess, calligraphy, and painting. The Empress had originally wanted her as Crown Princess.

After all, the future mistress of the imperial harem might as well be the Empress’s own niece rather than an outsider.

Then Feng Yueshang appeared.

Her lineage and beauty were beyond reproach, her father held military power, and the Crown Prince loved her so much that he seemed determined to marry no one else.

The Crown Princess was indeed blessed.

But one person’s honey was another’s poison.

The Crown Prince’s devotion was good for the Crown Princess and cruel to everyone else.

More women would inevitably enter his household. Sooner or later, someone might grow jealous enough to make a fatal choice. At times, I thought that if I were the Crown Prince, I would not display my love for the Crown Princess so openly.

Then again, if the heir to the throne-second only to the Emperor-had to twist and scheme merely to love one woman, what pleasure was there in his exalted position?

I said evenly, “It is late. Should you not return and rest, Senior Concubine Shen?”

She turned toward me with a smile that was not quite a smile.

“These are only minor household matters-social obligations, rewarding and punishing servants. Every household has them. Does the royal tent on the grasslands not? Why are you so slow-witted, elder sister Ah Zhu, that His Highness must teach you again and again?”

My steps paused, but my voice remained calm. “And why, Senior Concubine Shen, can your hand wield a brush but not an embroidery needle?”

She only smiled and did not answer.

In the Eastern Palace, one could survive without the Crown Prince’s love.

One could not survive without the appearance of his favor.

My mother’s clan was a thousand miles away, and I was a foreigner besides.

I needed the Crown Prince’s favor, even if it was only a performance for others.

That was my reason.