Chapter 2
Chapter 2
I closed my eyes.
In a daze, the day Zhao Xun moved into Fengyi Palace surfaced in my mind.
The boy clutched my hand with all his strength, his voice choked with sobs.
“Ah Tao, come with me.”
“Mother doesn’t want me anymore. I can’t lose you too.”
I did not agree. I chose to stay by the Empress Dowager’s side.
Rain poured down in sheets.
Zhao Xun stood there at a loss, half crying, half laughing, like a stray dog with nowhere to go.
Many years later, it was another rainy day just like that.
The Empress Dowager was gravely ill, yet all the imperial physicians were in the Noble Consort’s palace.
I went to beg Zhao Xun.
There was a faint smell of wine on him. He listened quietly as I explained why I had come, then said at an unhurried pace,
“Fine.”
“Think carefully about what you should offer in exchange.”
His eyelids lowered, and he smiled with mockery. “I would very much like to see how far you can go for the Empress Dowager.”
The blue gauze curtains fell.
Zhao Xun was rough, so rough it felt as though he would grind my bones to dust.
In my daze, I remembered the Empress Dowager once speaking with a smile about the future she had planned for me.
“I will take you as my foster daughter and find you a wealthy, peaceful household. You will marry out with all proper glory.”
“Ah Tao, your life will be smooth and complete. You and your husband will be harmonious, and your children and grandchildren will fill the house.”
All of it turned to ash amid a man’s heavy breathing.
After he was satisfied, Zhao Xun lowered his head and nuzzled me with intimate familiarity, smiling as if amused. “Why are you crying?”
“Could it be that apart from me, you once thought of marrying another man?”
“This servant would not dare.”
With my voice hoarse and torn, I begged him to grant me a proper status.
Zhao Xun was not an irresponsible man.
Nor was this a difficult matter.
But he toyed with my hair, his smile cold and thin. “Since you trust the Empress Dowager so much, have her come beg me.”
“As long as she begs me, I will give you status.”
I knew Zhao Xun wanted to use this to humiliate the Empress Dowager.
The Empress Dowager had shown me kindness. I would not put her in such a difficult position.
And so the matter ended there.
Until the Noble Consort deliberately made trouble for me and punished me by forcing me to kneel under the sun for six hours.
I could not hold on and fainted.
When I woke, Zhao Xun was holding my hand, his expression unusually gentle. “Ah Tao, you are pregnant.”
The Noble Consort stood beside him and began to weep softly.
Hearing her, Zhao Xun turned and took her into his arms, coaxing her with tender words.
When he looked back at me, his tone had gone cold.
“The Noble Consort has no children yet. Once you give birth, the child will be registered under her name.”
Imperial power towered above me. I had no right to refuse.
I could only be confined to the rear hall of Yangxin Hall, kept there to carry the pregnancy to term.
When the Empress Dowager, propping up her sick body, asked about me, Zhao Xun brushed her off with a few words.
The moment the two children were born, they were carried to the Noble Consort’s palace.
He lowered his eyes to look at me, his expression indifferent. “From now on, you have nothing to do with them.”
I remembered that.
For all these years, I devoted myself solely to serving the Empress Dowager and never once overstepped.
Until the Empress Dowager accidentally heard the whole story from the Noble Consort.
With a trembling hand, she slapped me across the face, her eyes red with anger. “How dare you hide something this important from me?”
“Had I known earlier, I would have secured you a status no matter what. I would never have let you suffer so many years of grievance.”
After she calmed down,
she held me with aching tenderness and asked whether I wanted to be reunited with my children.
In that instant, my heart stirred.
Even if I did not compete for favor, with those two children, I could at least live peacefully in the harem.
But I was wrong.
The Noble Consort was the Late Empress’s niece, and she had been by Zhao Xun’s side for ten years.
They were the true perfect match, childhood sweethearts in every sense.
Zhao Xun did grant me favor.
Perhaps it was to display his filial piety, or perhaps he had other considerations.
His favor toward me even surpassed the Noble Consort’s, leaving me unmatched in prominence.
But how could the Noble Consort ever let that go? Again and again, she set herself against me.
Those two children detested me as well and helped her deal with me.
Zhao Xun knew the wrongs I suffered, but he could not be bothered to intervene.
When he saw me, there was only disgust.
The deep palace was silent and desolate, filled with nothing but torment.
My health worsened day by day.
When I was at death’s door,
the Noble Consort became the Empress.
She came to see me one last time, smiling brightly. “You know, you never should have entered the palace.”
“You had no family background, and you had no bond with His Majesty… What did you think you could use to fight me?”