Chapter 1
My name is Chunxi. I started out as a menial maid in the courtyard of Xie Ningyuan, heir to the Marquis of Zhenbei, earning three-tenths of a tael of silver a month.
Then one day, His Lordship fell from his horse while racing someone.
His lower body was paralyzed. He could no longer stand, and everyone considered him a cripple.
Not only was he incontinent, but his temper turned vicious. He smashed anything he saw and cursed anyone who came near.
The five senior maids in his courtyard—all prospective concubines—fled.
The ten junior maids couldn’t stand his temper either, so they fled too.
That left only me, the lowly maid who swept the floors, and an old gardener who tended the flowers and trees.
“Get out! All of you, get out!”
“I know you’re all laughing at me. You’re laughing because I’m a cripple.”
“I’ll never walk again. What’s the point of staying alive?”
The gardener was so old his knees shook when he walked.
I, on the other hand, was sixteen, hale and hearty, and blessed with both strength and practical ingenuity.
So the Marchioness chose me to care for her son personally.
I said, “I won’t do it.”
The Marchioness said, “I’ll raise your monthly pay from three-tenths of a tael to three whole taels.”
I said, “I have a fiancé. I’m not washing another man’s backside.”
The Marchioness said, “I’ll shorten your ten-year indenture to three years.”
I said, “When do I start?”
The truth was, there was a deeply moving love story behind how I had sold myself into service.
My fiancé was a delicate scholar incapable of looking after himself.
His parents were dead, and so were mine.
He wanted to study for the imperial examinations, while I had no idea how to farm or make a living. My only choice was to sell myself to the marquis’s household so I could at least keep a roof over my head and food in my stomach.
Since the household fed and lodged me, I gave everything I earned to my fiancé.
My indenture was only ten years. By the time I was old enough to leave the estate, he should have earned an official post, and then we could finally marry.
Now my wages had increased tenfold, and I would be free in three years instead.
What a promising future!
I slid my hands under His Lordship’s arms. “Up you go!”
Then I hoisted him into my arms.
He struggled with all his might.
“Wretched maid! Don’t touch me!”
“I don’t need your help!”
“You… Stop! Don’t you dare pull down my trousers!”
“Ah! Where are you wiping? I’ll have your hands chopped off!”
I was a strong-minded, even-tempered, and thoroughly dedicated maid.
“No. Your mother said one bath and three cleanings a day.”
With that, I gave one cheek of his backside a resounding slap.
“Let’s get you washed before the water gets cold.”
Unlike most bedridden patients, who wasted away, began to smell, and developed bedsores, His Lordship flourished under my care.
Every day, I bathed him, cleaned his backside, hefted him into his wheelchair, and pushed him all over creation.
I took him wherever he wanted to go. I also took him wherever he did not want to go.
“Your Lordship, how long has it been since you looked down upon a distant view from on high?”
I hoisted him onto a tree branch ten feet above the ground.
With his lower body paralyzed, the sight of the ground beneath him scared him witless.
“Chunxi! Get me down! I’m afraid of heights!”
I said, “No, you aren’t.”
It was payday, and I needed to make time to visit my dear scholar.
So I left His Lordship perched on the branch and promised myself I would be back within two hours.
My scholar and I had grown up together. He had rosy lips and pearly teeth, spoke in a gentle voice, and smiled with eyes curved like twin crescent moons.
When he saw the three taels of silver in my hand, his eyes reddened with emotion.
He clasped my hand tightly.
“Chunxi, where did you get so much silver?”
I said, “The Marchioness put me in charge of His Lordship and raised my wages. I’ll earn three taels every month from now on!”
“You can attend the academy you’ve always wanted to go to, and buy all the books you need.”
My scholar was so happy that he swept me up and spun me around twice. He promised to marry me as soon as I left the estate and swore he would never betray me for as long as he lived.
Then I remembered His Lordship was still hanging from a tree. Not daring to linger, I bade my scholar farewell and hurried back.
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Chapter 1
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The Maid Who Washed Butts
For three years, I washed the backside of the bedridden, paralyzed heir to the Marquis of Zhenbei.
He mocked me for it all the time.
“Chunxi, if you’re willing to wash even my...