Chapter 6

It took a full year for my body to look whole again.

Beneath the skin, I was still a wreck.

Shen Shanliang didn’t care.

As long as his son was healthy, that was enough.

All that year, he insisted I nurse Shen Qinghui myself.

Poor Shen Xiaoqing, he said, had lost his mother at birth. He had never tasted a drop of her milk and had been raised by a wet nurse.

He would not let Qinghui miss out on that maternal love as well.

After a year on my milk, Qinghui had grown fair and plump.

As a reward, on the day before his first birthday, Shen Shanliang decided to bestow something on me.

I thought he might at least give me jewelry, or some gold and silver.

Instead, he wrapped up thirty taels and sent a servant to deliver it to Qiu Bingzhong.

Even as the servant left with the silver, I had not recovered from the enormity of that irony.

I was the one who had suffered. I was the one who had earned credit for raising the child.

Yet Shen Shanliang’s reward went to my husband.

Just as a farmer borrowing another man’s ox would not reward the hardworking animal with extra feed, but give its owner more money in gratitude?

Once again, my understanding of this feudal patriarchy deepened.

Once again, the shock almost left me unable to breathe.

Shen Shanliang had to call me several times before I came back to myself.

Holding one-year-old Qinghui, he sat at the table and chatted with me.

“Yuniang, tomorrow is Qinghui’s first-birthday feast. The invitations have all gone out. We must make it a grand occasion.”

“A pity your position is so awkward. You can’t attend.”

He sounded apologetic, but his face showed that he took this for granted.

In his heart, he believed a woman he had leased had no place at his son’s birthday feast.

I lowered my eyes obediently.

“I understand. I’m only the young master’s wet nurse. I won’t join the guests.”

After nearly two years in the Shen household, I could handle him with ease. I knew exactly what he liked to hear.

Sure enough, my understanding pleased him greatly.

Seeing that he was in a good mood, I brought up the osmanthus wine.

I made myself look dejected and sad.

“My standing is too low for tomorrow’s formal feast. But I did give birth to this child and nurse him. It hurts to miss such an important day in his life.”

“Master, why don’t the three of us have a little celebration tonight? Just to keep me company. Would you?”

I asked so humbly, so cautiously.

It was difficult for him not to soften and agree. Besides, it was hardly a serious request.

Once he consented, I happily found Nanny Qi and asked her to have the kitchen prepare some good dishes.

I went to fetch the wine buried beneath the osmanthus tree myself.

When everything was ready, I stood outside his room and called,

“Master, the moon is beautiful tonight. Shall we sit beneath the osmanthus tree in the courtyard and drink while we enjoy it?”

He suspected nothing. He came toward me carrying Qinghui.

We sat beneath the full moon, drinking and talking.

He complained that the wine was too sweet and didn’t want much.

I coaxed him with a playful, clinging air.

“Master, you have a wonderful capacity for drink. I’m only a woman. Without a little osmanthus honey, I couldn’t swallow even half a mouthful.”

“For Qinghui’s sake, indulge me!”

As I spoke, I played with the little boy in my arms.

Qinghui laughed. Babbling and wobbling, he lifted the wine cup to Shen Shanliang’s lips.

Offered wine by his own son, Shen Shanliang stopped refusing. Cup after cup went down.

It looked like a scene of peaceful happiness.

In truth, my palms were already sweating.

This was my first murder. I had no certainty that I could kill him in one stroke.

If he noticed anything wrong, death would end my game in this world ahead of time.

Fortunately, everything unfolded as I had imagined.

I had chosen the courtyard, and that spot beneath the tree in particular, because the room was too bright. He might have seen the wine’s reddish color.

The sweetness came from all the osmanthus honey I had added to mask the faint taste of spoilage.

Perhaps the mood was particularly good that night.

Perhaps he really was old, his sight dim and his sense of taste fading.

Whatever the reason, he drank half the jar.

Several young servants had to support him and carry him out of my courtyard.

After he left, I lay awake all night.

Every moment, I waited for news of his sudden death.

It never came.

The high moon gave way to dawn, and dawn to full morning. Everything remained as usual.

The servants bustled about preparing Qinghui’s birthday feast. Guests arrived one after another.

I found one of Shen Shanliang’s personal servants and asked for news.

With an anxious air, I said,

“The master drank a little too much with me last night. Is he all right?”

The servant smiled.

“He was a little hungover this morning and nearly failed to get up. But it’s the young master’s birthday. He’d get up and attend to things no matter what. He’s already receiving guests in the front hall.”

I wanted to ask more, but the servant was busy and hurried back to work.

Before long, the sounds of a lively banquet drifted from the front hall into the rear courtyard.

My heart pounded uneasily.

I began doubting myself. Perhaps I had made the wine incorrectly and failed to let the Monascus toxins develop to their fullest strength.

Then cries of alarm came from the front hall.

I recognized the loudest voice. Nanny Qi.

“What’s wrong with the master? Fetch the physician!”