Chapter 4
Chapter 4
That night, I fell asleep the moment my head hit the pillow and knew nothing more until morning. I had planned to ask someone to request leave from court on my behalf, but around the fourth watch, a great clamor of gongs, drums, and horns erupted outside. I had no idea who was making such a racket in front of my residence.
Still half asleep, I sat up without even opening my eyes. Listening to all the fanfare, I briefly wondered if it was somehow my turn to get married again today.
After sitting there in a daze for a while, I rubbed my throbbing head and summoned a maid. “Who’s causing trouble outside? Hurry up and drive them away.”
The maid hesitated for ages before stammering, “My lady, Lord Chu is here to escort you to court. We’re only servants. How would we dare drive him away?”
As she spoke, perhaps deciding the horns weren’t effective enough, the musicians changed their tune and started blasting away on suonas.
Wonderful. So I wasn’t getting married this time. They were sending me off to the grave instead?
“That damned Chu has gone too far!” I cursed, pulling the covers over my head. But the suonas were unbearable, their demonic wails drilling straight into my ears and making themselves impossible to ignore. “My shoes!”
I struggled upright and reached under the bed with my bare feet. I must have kicked my shoes somewhere while drunk last night, because after fumbling around twice without finding them, I kicked a small wooden basin instead. Pain shot through my toes, and I immediately jerked my foot back.
The maid flinched and pleaded, “My lady, we washed your feet last night and forgot to take the basin away.”
I looked at the wooden basin, then at her. “This is my foot-washing water?”
She nodded.
“Then where are my shoes?”
“I’ll find you another pair. You weren’t wearing any when you came home yesterday.”
I had heard of people drinking away their money and drinking away their belongings, but this was the first time I had heard of someone drinking away her shoes.
Once I had changed into another pair, I left without even combing my hair, carrying the basin with me. The musicians outside were giving it their all, cheeks puffed and faces flushed bright red. They must have been paid handsomely.
Chu Lingfeng was leaning against the side of his sedan chair, impeccably dressed and watching the spectacle with undisguised amusement.
Splash!
The entire basin of water went straight into his face. Not a single drop was wasted.
“Since Lord Chu has come all the way to my residence to make a drunken scene, I thought I’d help sober you up.” I casually handed the wooden basin to the dumbstruck maid behind me, descended the steps, and walked up to him. “After you, Lord Chu. Let us go to court.”
Drip. Drip.
He wiped his face and murmured, “Yu’er.”
“Don’t call me that, Lord Chu. I’m a landlubber. You’re the drenched one, so you’re the fish here.” I glared at him. “That was foot-washing water left overnight, by the way. A rare treat.”
He shook out his voluminous sleeves. Far from getting angry, he wrung a stream of water from them and asked, “Is Grand Tutor Yu trying to emulate the Lady of Guo, who disdained cosmetics and went before the sovereign with only lightly painted brows?”
I gave a derisive snort. “I certainly can’t compare with Lord Chu. You even had to be washed and purified before being sent on your final journey.”
Trading insult for insult, we made it all the way to the palace gates without either of us getting into our sedan chairs.
The Jinluan Throne Hall was magnificent and opulent. The Young Emperor entered with all the proper imperial grandeur, but the moment he sat down, he stared at us in bewilderment.
“Minister Chu, Minister Yu, what happened to the two of you?”
One of us was unkempt, with wild hair and a filthy face. The other was dripping wet and looked utterly bedraggled.
Chu Lingfeng stepped forward, cleared his throat, and said at an unhurried pace, “Reporting to His Majesty, this is what happened after I pulled back Grand Tutor Yu’s bedcovers.”
That filthy scoundrel! That shameless old bachelor!
I had only ever seen expressions like those worn by the assembled civil and military officials on the faces of audiences listening to storytellers in teahouses. If someone had handed them each a fistful of sunflower seeds, they probably would have squatted on the floor and cheered.
The Young Emperor looked equally stunned. “Minister Chu, what do you mean by that?”
Chu Lingfeng shook his head with great affectation and sighed. “Alas, drink truly does lead a man astray. The old saying did not deceive me.”
The more he explained, the worse it sounded!
“Chu Lingfeng!” In a fit of rage, I shouted his full name.
“With so many people watching, Grand Tutor Yu, perhaps you should address me as Lord Chu for now.”
Wonderful. Now there was no explaining this mess. If that white-bearded Grand Secretary had been present, he would surely have clutched his chest and lamented, “Morals are declining, and people are no longer what they once were!”
Seeing that I was about to lose my temper, the Young Emperor hastily changed the subject. “Enough, enough. Do any of you have memorials to present?”
The realm was peaceful, the people prosperous, and even the cattle and horses were thriving. No one had anything to report. Meanwhile, I secretly regretted not taking advantage of my drunken courage yesterday to write a lengthy memorial describing that man surnamed Chu as the greatest rogue and scoundrel under heaven and submitting it to His Majesty.
If there were matters to report, one presented them. If not, court was naturally dismissed.
Normally, once the emperor departed, Grand Protector Song was always the first one out the door. His wife waited for him at the palace gates every day, rain or shine. The Grand Protector doted on his wife so much that even when there was neither wind nor rain, he still worried about her standing in the sun.
Today, however, was different. I was the first to leave, with Chu Lingfeng close behind me.
“Yu’er, I forgot to return these yesterday. Your shoes.”
I already had one foot over the threshold, but I stopped dead. And I wasn’t the only one. Even the Young Emperor turned around halfway through his departure and stood beneath a palace maid’s fan, staring at me.
The moment those words left Chu Lingfeng’s mouth, everyone froze as though their acupoints had been struck, then turned in unison to stare at the two of us. Only Grand Protector Song had no interest in whatever new scandal we had caused. He continued out the door, his whole heart devoted to his wife.
The hall fell utterly silent. All I could hear was the grinding of my own teeth. I turned around and accepted my little boots from Chu Lingfeng.
“Truly, Lord Chu, you have my deepest thanks.”
I couldn’t argue with him any longer. I was afraid he would anger me to death.
I had only taken a few more steps when I encountered Xuan Changjun coming up the stairs. His Majesty had summoned him, likely to discuss granting him an official post.
The instant he saw me, he called out urgently, “Miaoren!”
Miaoren, my foot!
I couldn’t be bothered to acknowledge him, but behind me, Chu Lingfeng corrected him at an easy pace.
“You should address her as Grand Tutor Yu.”
Xuan Changjun looked deeply uncomfortable and said nothing. Chu Lingfeng, however, refused to let the matter drop.
“Surely Lord Xuan does not intend to address me as Lingfeng as well?”
Xuan Changjun choked on his words for a long moment. Then he stepped back twice, lowered his head, and said, “Grand Tutor Yu. Lord Chu.”
I waved a hand. “May Lord Xuan rise swiftly through the ranks and enjoy boundless prospects. Until we meet again.”
With that, I strode away. Xuan Changjun headed toward the grand hall, but Chu Lingfeng followed at an easy pace, trailing me all the way to the palace gates.
“A woman changes her mind faster than she turns a page. Surely one day as husband and wife should earn a hundred days of grace. Grand Tutor Yu, how heartless. Truly heartless.”
He really was a master of snide remarks.
“Lord Chu, you should worry about yourself instead. I may be heartless, but if you don’t hurry up and marry, your family line may end with you!”
I flicked my sleeves and stormed ahead, but I still couldn’t outpace those long legs of his.
“That’s a rather harsh thing to say.” He overtook me in a few strides and blocked my path. “Are you truly angry?”
“If you’d stop pestering me, I might live ten years longer,” I said.
He stood there for a moment, then asked, “Yu’er, are you angry because of me, or because of Lord Xuan?”
“Lord Chu, I have no idea how you became so familiar with me that you insist on calling me Yu’er, but forget it. I can’t be bothered to argue with you.” I pulled out a handkerchief and fanned myself. “Changjun and I have torn off all pretenses. From now on, he’ll take his road and I’ll take mine. We’ll have nothing more to do with each other. Don’t mention that man in front of me again!”
He chuckled. “Are you really so fickle, Grand Tutor Yu? You loved him for years, yet now you can forget him just like that?”
My eyes widened. I shoved him hard and pointed at him. “You promised you’d pretend you didn’t know!”
I turned to leave, no longer willing to entertain him, only to run straight into two figures walking intimately side by side. With a splash, a pot of soup spilled all over the ground, spattering me in the process.
I looked up and found Grand Protector Song and Madam Song standing before me.
The married couple had been strolling leisurely, while Chu Lingfeng and I had been hurrying along. That was how we’d collided at the palace gates.
Grand Protector Song was normally the picture of composure, but now even his little mustache trembled with outrage. “Oh, this… this… My wife made that Dongting mandarin fish soup with her own hands! I didn’t even get a single sip! Miaoren, you owe me another pot!”
I was about to apologize when Chu Lingfeng pulled me back. “Did it burn you?”
I tried to yank my hand free, but he was too strong. “We’re an unmarried man and woman! Stop manhandling me! You! You can replace Lord Song’s soup!”
Madam Song stepped in to smooth things over. “That’s enough, that’s enough. My lords, it’s hot outside. You should hurry home.”
Grand Protector Song refused to let it go, stamping his feet and shouting, “Make him replace it! Make him replace it!”
After two such shouts, Madam Song tugged at him, and he obediently followed her away.
“This is all your fault! You made me cause trouble!” I kicked at Chu Lingfeng, but he easily dodged.
“Your legs are as short as a fish’s tail. You might as well stop flapping around.” Only when he saw that I was about to lose my temper did he continue, “I’ve dined at Lord Song’s residence before. His wife’s cooking is truly unfit for the table. Spilling it may have saved him from untold suffering.”
“Lord Chu, if you ever see storm clouds gathering, you’d better not step outside. With a tongue that vicious, aren’t you afraid the heavens will suddenly open their eyes and strike you down?”
He smiled, utterly unconcerned, then asked again, “Are you sure you weren’t burned?”
“I have blisters all over. What of it? Do you want to take a look? Keep dreaming!”
Whenever I ran into him, I often lost all sense of decorum, turning into such a ferocious shrew that even I found myself overbearing.
After walking a few steps, I paused thoughtfully and turned back. “Lord Chu, could I borrow that troupe of street performers you hired today?”
“I don’t see why not. What do you need them for?”
“To collect a debt.” I gave a cold chuckle. “The more I think about it, the more it pains me to leave all that gold, silver, and treasure to the Xuan Family.”
I selected the strongest porters in my household and had them shoulder the two chests of betrothal gifts the Xuan Family had sent.
The large red flowers tied atop them hadn’t even been removed. What could he possibly have sent that my residence didn’t already possess?
His possessions had never been what I wanted in the first place.
“Carry all of these to Xuan Manor, then bring back everything that belongs to our household. That Jade Pixiu is extremely valuable, so be careful with it.”
Less than half an hour later, one of the porters came running back.
“My lady, Elder Xuan refuses. He says he must see you, no matter what.”
I snorted. “The divorce letter has already been written. Insisting on this now is like taking off his pants just to fart-utterly pointless!”
I brushed the dust from my clothes and rose lazily from my seat. Then I beckoned to the troupe waiting by the door. “Let’s go. Put your backs into it. If you perform well and make a grand spectacle of it, you’ll all be handsomely rewarded.”
Ordinarily, everyone loved gathering at the teahouses to listen to storytellers. Today, however, they abandoned their plans halfway there and crowded around Xuan Manor to watch the commotion.
I sat atop two large chests with my legs crossed, listening to see who cheered the loudest.
Anyone who amused me earned a reward.
About fifteen minutes later, Xuan Changjun emerged and asked gently, “Miaoren, what are you doing?”
“Wasn’t it Lord Xuan who insisted on seeing me?”
“Miaoren, stop being contrary.” He gazed at me tenderly, his eyes brimming with sincerity. “I shouldn’t have given you that divorce letter. I regret it.”
I raised a palm and shook my head. “I’ve come today with drums and fanfare to congratulate Lord Xuan on two joyous occasions. First, Lord Xuan has received a promotion and now enjoys boundless prospects. Second, Lord Xuan has divorced his wicked wife, mending the pen before any more sheep could be lost.”
Without giving him a chance to interrupt, I continued, “But one matter is one matter, and another is another. I have returned your betrothal gifts untouched, so please return my dowry in full. You accepted all the guests’ monetary gifts on our wedding day, and I never took a single coin. As for the wedding expenses, don’t worry. I won’t let you suffer a loss. I’ll calculate the amount and reimburse you in silver.”
“Miaoren, why must you be so cold? Why insist on calculating every last coin between us?”
I was growing tired of this. I crooked a finger at the servants behind me. “Move everything.”
My servants obeyed no one but me and were quick to act. Given my official rank, no one dared stop them. Still, barging into the manor by force would have been too tyrannical, and for the moment, both sides stood frozen in a stalemate.
I glanced back at the troupe of performers, who had all fallen silent as cicadas in winter. “Play.”
Only then did they stir into action.
A short while later, several men carried out all my treasures. Looking closely, I saw a wisp of smoke trailing behind them-a woman whose eyes and brows bore a striking resemblance to mine, though there was an inexplicably mournful cast to her features.
Before she even opened her mouth, tears began to fall, utterly at odds with the festive music.
“Sister-in-law…”
Even her voice sounded like an autumn wind sweeping through fallen leaves, desolate beyond measure.
“Xuan’er, the sun is scorching. Why did you come outside?” Xuan Changjun was beside himself, first raising a hand to shade her, then fanning her with his sleeve. He looked like a performing monkey.
“Brother, you and Sister-in-law became estranged because of me. If such a heaven-sent match were ruined like this, Xuan’er fears she would never know peace for the rest of her life.”
I let out a cold laugh and said to the troupe leader, “Listen to that performance. Now that’s real talent. You should learn from her.”
Thoroughly embarrassed, Xuan Changxuan’s sobs cut off midway, leaving her to choke out a hiccup instead.
“Xuan’er, first, I am not your sister-in-law. Second, I am not your brother’s heaven-sent match. A single rank in officialdom weighs as heavily as a mountain. You may not know the rules, but apparently your brother cannot bear to teach you.”
Xuan Changjun shielded her as though rescuing a delicate flower from a raging storm. “Grand Tutor Yu, whatever grievance lies between us, do not drag Xuan’er into it.”
“What grievance could I possibly have with Lord Xuan? If I had to name one, it would be that Lord Xuan covets my Cream-White Jade Pixiu and refuses to return it, forcing me to bring an entire procession here to reclaim it.” I smiled. “Then again, the Jade Pixiu is a priceless rarity. Not everyone can possess one. It even has a Jade Qilin for a companion, currently sitting in the Grand Preceptor’s Residence. He cannot be bothered to care for it, so it is only gathering dust. Why don’t you ask him whether you can swallow your pride enough to take it home?”
Xuan Changjun flushed with fury. “Grand Tutor Yu, do not twist the truth. I am not a man who covets wealth.”
“Lord Xuan is incorruptible and above all worldly desires, while the mere sight of money makes my eyes gleam. I am greedy and profit-driven, so it is best that we part ways.” As I finished, I turned and saw Chu Lingfeng riding toward us on a tall chestnut horse.
“I heard you gave away my Jade Qilin as part of your settlement? Yu’er, you certainly have no trouble making decisions on my behalf.” He pulled on the reins, studied the delicate flower for a long moment, then turned to me. “How does she look anything like you?”
Before I could answer, the delicate flower timidly tugged at Xuan Changjun’s sleeve. “Brother, who might this distinguished gentleman be?”
Her limpid gaze rippled like autumn waves over spring waters, while her slender figure swayed like a willow in the breeze.
“Do not be afraid, Xuan’er. This is Grand Preceptor Chu, Lord Chu.”
I burst out laughing. Xuan Changjun truly was a fool. She was hardly afraid. Her maiden heart was clearly stirring because she had taken a fancy to Chu Lingfeng.
She dipped into a graceful curtsy, once again resembling a delicate flower swaying in the wind. “Lord Chu, my brother has only recently arrived and is unfamiliar with the proper etiquette. If he has offended you in any way, Xuan’er apologizes on his behalf.”
“No need.” Chu Lingfeng waved a hand, and even his horse tossed its head along with the motion. “Lord Xuan may lack manners, but even he has more propriety than you. What is an unmarried young lady doing parading herself about in public? How unseemly.”
Xuan Changxuan choked back a sob, on the verge of weeping again. “Lord Chu is right, but Xuan’er was anxious to say a few words to Grand Tutor Yu…”
Chu Lingfeng cut her off before she could finish. “Now that you have said them, go back inside. You are homely enough as it is. If you have no manners either, no one will ever marry you.”
Xuan Changxuan choked out her second hiccup of the day and began crying even harder. “Lord Chu, it does not matter if you find Xuan’er distasteful, but everyone says Xuan’er resembles Grand Tutor Yu. By saying that, you are also…”
This delicate flower was quite the schemer. She actually dared to drag a poisonous weed like me down with her.
Before I could speak, Chu Lingfeng guided his horse in a small circle and peered all around. “Who said you look alike? Who was it? They must be blind in both eyes and heart! Wouldn’t you agree, Lord Xuan?”
Xuan Changjun lowered his head and clenched his teeth. “Lord Chu, Xuan’er is careless with her words. Please do not take offense.”
Chu Lingfeng laughed and snapped open his black, gold-edged folding fan with jade ribs. “Of course not. I take no offense. Neither one of you siblings knows how to speak properly.”
Just then, his horse suddenly whinnied and shook out its long mane. It startled the large yellow dog in the Xuan Family courtyard, causing it to knock over the bowl of leftovers in front of it and bark without pause.
Chu Lingfeng gave a derisive chuckle and remarked blandly, “What a useless beast. It eats fine rice, yet all it spews is filth.”
I tried again and again to hold it in, but finally burst into peals of laughter. This man truly had a vicious tongue. When it was not aimed at me, it was extraordinarily entertaining.
Hearing me laugh, he turned back and heaved an exaggerated sigh. “Oh my, Lord Xuan is still here? You can stand in the street in broad daylight all you like, but you will not pick up any money. Insults, on the other hand, are another matter.”
Xuan Changjun trembled with fury. After announcing his departure, he reached out to pull Xuan Changxuan away, only to find that she would not budge.
“Lord Chu, Xuan’er has caused you considerable offense today…”
“Whatever do you mean, Miss Xuan? The sun is scorching. You should hurry inside.” Chu Lingfeng abruptly began speaking like a civilized man, leaving me to wonder what act he intended to put on next.
He brushed off his sleeve and continued, “Fair skin conceals a multitude of flaws. If you tan as well, there will truly be no saving you.”
I had no idea whether Xuan Changxuan was tired from crying, but I was certainly laughing hard enough to feel sick.
Chu Lingfeng noticed and asked, “Yu’er, what is wrong? Do you feel like vomiting?”
I hurriedly invented an excuse. “It must be the heat. Yes, the heat.”
“Alas, I feel like vomiting too. Perhaps it is because I saw something filthy.”
I stifled my laughter until my stomach ached.
After leaving Xuan Manor, I happily handed out rewards to everyone. “I told you before, anyone who amuses me will be rewarded. Go line up for your share.”
Everyone collected their rewards with delight, though it was really no more than a few bits of loose silver. After enjoying such a long show for free, they ought to consider themselves lucky I did not charge them admission.
At the very end of the line, Chu Lingfeng arrived to “claim his reward,” dressed in splendid brocade robes and cloud-patterned boots.
“Lord Chu, you’re joining in the fun too?” I asked, amused.
“Everyone who cheered you up got a reward. Yu’er, wasn’t I the one who made you happiest?”
He certainly knew how to make a convincing argument. Left with no retort, I ordered, “Hold out your hand.”
“Don’t think you can fob me off with two measly lumps of silver,” he persisted.
I had no choice but to ask, “Then what would you like, Lord Chu?”
He reached out and patted the chests I had brought out of the Xuan Residence. “Now that you’ve recovered all your gold, silver, and valuables, it’s about time you repaid me with a feast.”
I didn’t refuse. I was in a good mood today, so I readily agreed. “Jincui Tower, Lord Chu. Lead the way.”
We did order a pot of wine, but after I drank a single cup, he confiscated it.
He glanced up at me without a smile. “You still dare to drink? Aren’t you afraid you’ll leave your dudou with me again this time?”
“Oh, shut up. Nothing good ever comes out of that mouth of yours.” I ignored him and switched to tea. Perhaps because I was in such high spirits, even the tea tasted particularly good.
Someone downstairs had started singing another ditty in an extremely young voice. The last time I was here, I’d been too drunk to make out the lyrics. This time, I was perfectly sober-and realized it was an indecent song about springtime passion.
I frowned and tapped the table lightly. “What kind of filth are they singing in broad daylight?”
Chu Lingfeng lowered his head and picked up another bite of food. “You may not like it, but someone else does.”
With that, he set down his chopsticks and summoned a waiter.
“What can I do for Your Excellencies?”
“How old is the girl singing downstairs?” I asked.
“She’s fourteen,” the waiter replied.
Chu Lingfeng and I exchanged a look. She was the same age as the Young Emperor, yet their lives could not have been more different.
I asked, “Why teach a fourteen-year-old child to sing such things?”
“Well…” The waiter looked troubled. After stammering for a long while, he finally said, “Your Excellencies, we didn’t teach her this. Several distinguished guests insist on hearing it. They come every day and request the same song. We can’t afford to offend them.”
Chu Lingfeng let out a dark scoff. “And who, exactly, can you not afford to offend?”
“The… the son of the Great General Who Pacifies the North. He likes to hear virginal young girls sing bawdy songs. Says it gives the songs a special flavor.”
“What utter bullshit. So it’s that bastard,” I said. “The old general had a son late in life and spoiled him rotten.”
I ordered the waiter to bring me a brush and paper, then wrote out several lines of new lyrics. “Take this downstairs and tell the girl to sing these instead.”
The waiter glanced at them, and his expression instantly turned strained. “Grand Tutor Yu, this…”
“If anything happens, Lord Chu will take responsibility,” I said.
The waiter looked at Chu Lingfeng. He waved a hand. “I’ll take responsibility.”
Before long, the melody drifting up from downstairs remained the same, but the lyrics had changed.
Gentle sirs, pray stay your chopsticks and hear this servant sing.
This lowly girl is barely fourteen, a budding flower in the rains of spring.
A handsome youth, a maiden sweet,
Should make a lovely pair to meet.
Yet from afar, he is a hooligan; up close, a common rogue.
His father’s feats upon the field are more than any tongue could laud,
But alas, a tiger sire has sired a dog, forever lost beneath skirts.
This servant dares not speak her mind, so, gentle sirs, judge what is right.
The racing wind and lightning both have eyes; Heaven’s judgment may yet strike.
When private morals fail, the public good is harmed;
Even boundless wealth and rank may one day meet their end.
The girl sang quite well. Then a table crashed over downstairs, and a drunken voice roared, “You stinking little slut! How dare you rebel!”
I leaned over the railing to watch, then looked back at Chu Lingfeng. “Lord Chu, how’s your aim?”
He glanced at me, drained the fine wine in his cup, then brought the empty cup over and leaned against the railing beside me.
Crack!
The sound was wonderfully crisp. The man below clutched the top of his head and bellowed, “Who was that?! Who dared ambush this young master?”
Crack!
Chu Lingfeng had taken my teacup from me as well.
“Quick! Protect me! Hurry!”
Chaos erupted downstairs. Someone with more courage than sense shouted, “Look! He pissed his pants!”
After being struck by two cups, Old General Chen’s precious son had wet himself in fright.
“You! Who are you people? How dare you attack this young master?!”
I covered my nose and turned my head aside, not wanting to speak to him.
Chu Lingfeng lazily fanned himself and said, “This is Grand Tutor Yu, the current Grand Tutor of the imperial court. In terms of official rank, she stands half a grade above your father.”
Since he had elevated me, I naturally returned the favor. “I owe it all to Grand Preceptor Chu-to Lord Chu’s generous patronage.”
Once our identities were revealed, the fool’s bluster immediately died down. “May I ask why Your Excellencies attacked me?”
“Attacked you? Nothing of the sort.” I chuckled softly. “I thought the young lady sang so beautifully that I couldn’t resist tossing a reward toward the stage. What? Did it happen to hit you?”
Chu Lingfeng caught on at once. He glanced at the singing girl, then pointed to the two shattered cups on the floor. “Those are Grand Tutor Yu’s rewards. Why haven’t you picked them up?”
The girl hastily dropped to her knees and gathered several shards. “Thank you for the reward, Your Excellency.”
I waved a hand and told the waiter to bring her upstairs to our private room.
The Chen fool did not dare confront either of us, but he blocked the girl’s path. “Wait! Who were you singing about just now?”
The girl cowered without answering and stole a glance at me. I smiled faintly and drawled, “I’ve been wondering the same thing. Who was that song about? Lord Chu is widely read and has a remarkable memory, yet even he couldn’t tell. I know a little about literature myself, but I couldn’t tell either. Could it be that you know, Young Master Chen? Go on, then. Tell us who the song was about.”
Provoked by my words, the fool snapped, “Is Grand Tutor Yu trying to play the hero and stand up for this worthless little wench?”
I stepped forward and kicked him in the stomach, then stared down at him coldly. “What filthy fucking bullshit are you spewing? Who the hell do you think you are? Go home and ask that precious father of yours whether he would dare speak to me, Yu Miaoren, like that.”
He clutched his stomach with a cry of pain, then froze, apparently never imagining I would actually dare hit him. It took him a long moment to recover before he began squealing like a pig being slaughtered.
Chu Lingfeng was even more composed than I was. Fan in hand, he watched Young Master Chen roll around on the floor and remarked, “Grand Tutor Yu, you certainly have nerve. You even dare slight the Great General Who Pacifies the North.”
I gave a soft snort and turned to him with a half smile. “Aren’t you here to shield me, Lord Chu?”
Young Master Chen threw a tantrum for ages, kicking and rolling about until Jincui Tower could no longer conduct business and might as well have become a theater.
He sat on the floor, the crotch of his trousers still wet. “You… You bullies are abusing your power! I’m going home to tell my father!”
“Unlike you, if I want to bully someone, I do it with my own power. I don’t act like a mangy cur who has to borrow someone else’s authority. Go ahead and tell your father. General Chen has risked his life on the battlefield and shed his blood without ever bowing his head, yet for a hopeless, good-for-nothing fool like you, he’ll have to swallow his pride and come plead with me. How can you even bring yourself to say that?” I mocked him mercilessly. “Two cups were enough to frighten you into wetting your pants. I imagine you’re utterly useless in that department. No wonder you come to a respectable establishment to listen to untouched maidens sing bawdy songs. Any woman with experience would see right through you. If you actually went to a brothel, the moment you took off your trousers, she’d probably be begging you to return the money! That miserable little thing of yours looks like it could snap at any moment. No girl could afford to serve you and risk ruining her reputation! If I were you, I’d never marry in this lifetime. The wedding night is meant to be one of life’s greatest joys. Don’t make some poor bride laugh herself to death on the very first night!”
I delivered the entire tirade without pausing for breath. Once I was done, Chu Lingfeng even poured me a cup of water. Tears were already welling in that idiot’s eyes. He scrambled up from the floor, barked, “Let’s go,” to his little pack of lackeys, then fled through the door clutching his crotch.
I bought the girl and brought her back to my residence. When I asked her name, she said she could no longer remember her original name. She had taken the restaurant owner’s surname and was called Wei Li.
I thought it sounded lovely, so I saw no reason to change it.
Wei Li was sensible and quiet, and she worked with remarkable efficiency. I told her several times that she didn’t need to do any heavy labor, but she always said I had given her a second life and that she would never forget my kindness.
During her first few days with me, she kept asking whether I had made an enemy because of her and whether Young Master Chen would come looking for trouble. I told her there was nothing to worry about. We had someone shielding us.
In truth, General Chen was a reasonable man. He might spoil his son, but he could still tell right from wrong.
One day, I returned from an outing to find Wei Li standing with a cleaning cloth in hand, staring absently at my dressing table.
When I called her name, she jumped and stumbled several steps backward. “My lord, I… I was only looking. I didn’t steal anything. My lord, I know I was wrong.”
I beckoned her over and had her sit before the bronze mirror. She hesitated for a moment before obeying.
“I’ve been neglectful. At your age, of course you want to look pretty.” I selected a floral hairpin and placed it in her hair. “I think this one suits you. If you like another better, you can choose for yourself… You’re still young, so my styles don’t really suit you. We should pick a day to go shopping and buy you some new ones.”
Wei Li grew excited, trying on one ornament and admiring another. In the end, however, she carefully returned them all to the box. “My lord, trying them on is enough for me. They’d only get in the way while I work.”
It pained me to see how sensible she was, yet she always seemed to feel she was not doing enough.
“Teacher.”
I turned and saw the Young Emperor, with Chu Lingfeng following behind him.
“His Majesty. Lord Chu.” I bowed, and Wei Li hastily dropped to her knees as well. Once the formalities were over, I muttered to myself, “Why did no one announce your arrival?”
“I specifically ordered them not to,” the emperor replied. Then he looked at Wei Li. “Who is this?”
I told him she was the younger sister I had recently acknowledged, Yu Weili. The emperor nodded without saying anything.
Wei Li did not understand why I had done that, but Chu Lingfeng certainly did. The Young Emperor had been raised and taught by the two of us. No one knew him better than I did. He had clearly taken a fancy to Wei Li.
Wei Li, a songstress from Jincui Tower, would hardly be suitable for him to take into the palace. Yu Miaoren’s younger sister, Yu Weili, sounded far more respectable.
“Teacher, We have come today to discuss a matter with you.”
I smiled and asked before he could continue, “May I ask if His Majesty is referring to Xuan Changjun’s official appointment?”
The Young Emperor stared in surprise, then brightened. “Teacher truly can foresee everything.”
Still smiling, I said, “What else could it be? If it were any other matter, Lord Chu wouldn’t have come trotting along so eagerly!”
The Young Emperor said, “Teacher, if the sight of Xuan Changjun displeases you, We can appoint him to a post in the provinces.”
“That won’t be necessary,” I replied. “Xuan Changjun is indeed a rare talent. He should remain in the capital so he can be called upon at any time. His Majesty, appointments must be based on merit, not personal affection.”
The Young Emperor nodded. “Teacher is right.”
I glanced at Chu Lingfeng and continued, “His Majesty, Lord Chu must have been sweet-talking you again. Don’t let him fool you. He would love nothing more than for you to send Xuan Changjun as far away as possible, all because Xuan Changjun’s younger sister, Xuan Changxuan, has taken a liking to him.”
At the mention of Xuan Changxuan, the Young Emperor said, “Teacher, We heard that Xuan Changxuan bears an extraordinary resemblance to you, so much so that the two of you are almost indistinguishable.”
Before I could speak, Chu Lingfeng leisurely interjected, “Those are merely idle rumors. This subject saw her in person, and she looks nothing like Teacher.”
The emperor replied, “Even if she resembles Teacher by only twenty percent, she must still be beautiful.”
Chu Lingfeng burst out laughing.
The emperor asked him, “What are you laughing at, Master?”
“I was wondering who in this entire realm, other than His Majesty, has ever praised her beauty!”
“You have, Master. You’ve praised her more than once in private. Have you forgotten?”