Chapter 2

Security at the Song residence was not as strict as at my own, but I did live here. On an occasion as important as this, with so many people coming and going, the guards would only be more vigilant than usual.

How had two unarmed women walked unhindered through the gates, across the outer courtyard, into the inner quarters, and all the way to their knees before me?

Liu Sanniang paled a little and stole a glance at Song Heqing.

“Fetch the mistress of the household,” I ordered.

I had only one son. He had married Lady Huang, the daughter of a registrar at the Imperial Academy. Her family was not particularly distinguished, but she was beautiful and virtuous, and I had entrusted her with running the household soon after the wedding. She had arranged the birthday banquet herself. If strangers had slipped in, she was the one I should call to account.

Lady Huang arrived with my son, Song Zhang. With the hall full of guests and Song Heqing on his knees, they both looked startled.

Song Zhang hurried to help his father up. “Father, what are you doing? Mother has always been generous. Even if you have done something wrong, she could never bear to be harsh with you after all your years together.”

There was more behind those words. My heart went cold.

Song Heqing glanced at my face and made a halfhearted show of resistance as he began to rise.

I hurled a teacup at him. “Did I give you leave to get up?”

Everyone in the room dropped to their knees. Nanny Gao, who had served me for years, pleaded, “Please calm yourself, Your Highness. Think of your health.”

I told her to get up. She hastened to pour me tea and rub my chest to ease my breathing.

The whole room knelt before me. I alone remained in my high seat, grim-faced and silent.

Song Heqing stared at me in shock. It had been years since he had seen me behave as a princess. I had been so kind to him that he had forgotten: I was not only the sole Grand Princess of Great Jin, but the only princess in the realm with a fief of her own.

I asked Lady Huang, “How did they get in?”

She looked utterly bewildered. Song Zhang hastily intervened. “Mother, it was my fault. I told the servants to bring them in. I could not bear to see Father in such a difficult position.”

So he had known.

“Do not blame the boy, Your Highness,” Song Heqing added. “I forced him to agree.”

I laughed coldly. “Then whom was that look of surprise for when you walked in? You chose my birthday. You chose a room full of guests. Father and son, conspiring with outsiders against me—what exactly were you trying to force me to accept?”

I fainted with rage.

I had fainted. I was pretending.

The world was forgiving of men. Even though I was a princess, if we were to argue the rights and wrongs of the matter, there would be no clear verdict. Some might even praise Song Heqing for his constancy.

Even an honest magistrate could scarcely untangle a family dispute. But plotting against a princess and driving her to collapse in anger were indisputable acts, witnessed by a roomful of noblewomen and their daughters.

At once, I became the injured party. Whatever I did next, they had forced my hand.

The imperial physician pronounced it a collapse brought on by violent anger. The emperor heard of it and sent someone to inquire after me. “I can handle this,” I said.

That evening, after taking my medicine, I reclined against my cushions and thought.

The candlelight in the outer room suddenly dimmed. Then two little figures appeared in silhouette on the standing screen.

The little man said, “Oh dear, oh dear! I’ve made the princess angry! What am I to do? What am I to do?”

The little woman said, “Hmph. I’ll never speak to you again.”

“No, no! If my princess won’t speak to me, I might as well die. Tell me, Princess—what must I do for you to forgive me?”

“Turn three somersaults, and I’ll forgive you.”

“Right you are!”

The little figure tumbled up and down the screen, crying, “Whoops!” and “Oh, my poor old back!” and “I’ve broken my leg!”—all deliberately absurd.

Nanny Gao waited beside my bed without daring to speak. The young maids in the outer room, however, giggled.

For years, whenever I was unhappy, Song Heqing had coaxed me out of it this way. Even after he was made a duke, he had been willing to set aside his dignity and amuse me in front of the servants.

But the thought that he might have done the same for Liu Sanniang made me sick.

“Come in,” I said.

Song Heqing hurried around the screen.

He sat straight down on the edge of my bed, took my hand, and called me by my childhood name, his eyes red. “Feiying, I never meant to keep it from you. I was so afraid of hurting you. I didn’t know how to tell you.”

I looked at him. He had been handsome and dashing in his youth, and age had done little to diminish him. His features remained finely sculpted; the years had only made him more refined, more captivating.

What a pity, I thought.

I slowly withdrew my hand and smiled with contempt. “But you weren’t afraid of hurting me when you plotted against me on my birthday?”

He froze, then looked embarrassed. A long while passed before he sighed. “Feiying, we’re both halfway to the grave. We have grandchildren. Must we keep squabbling over trifles? You are a princess. Sanniang could never compete with you, even if she wanted to. She only wants to enter the household for Mian’s sake. Be generous. Stop clinging to the past.”

Wearily, I closed my eyes for a moment. My voice was perfectly flat. “Forty years. For forty whole years, you could have told me the truth. But you didn’t. You weren’t afraid of hurting me. You wanted everything: the affection of your first wife, and the wealth and rank that came with a princess. Song Heqing, you disgust me.”

Exposed, he looked angry.

He had been humbling himself for so long. He had even knelt before all those people. In his view, he had given me more than enough deference. Yet I still refused to forgive him and was mocking him besides. He had spent years as a duke, flattered and fawned over. How could he bear such treatment?

He swept to his feet. “Understand this, Princess. Sanniang is my first wife. You are the second. By law, you ought to pay her the respects of a concubine. She is kind and generous enough not to insist on it. Don’t mistake her kindness for an invitation to be insolent!”

“Attend me,” I said. “My husband has insulted his sovereign. Slap his mouth.”

Nanny Gao whipped off a shoe and struck before he could react. She must have put all her strength behind the blow: his cheek swelled at once.

Song Heqing glared at her. “How dare you!”

“Well struck,” I said. “You shall be rewarded.”

He stared at me in disbelief. I met his eyes calmly, every inch the Grand Princess. In the end, he dared say nothing more and stormed out.

Nanny Gao sounded rather disappointed. “If I were younger, Your Highness, I’d have knocked his teeth out.”