Chapter 5

Chapter 5

The wine spread through me. In a daze, everything before my eyes blurred.

For a while, the noise by my ears swelled; then it fell quiet again. I had no idea what someone said, only that everyone began filing out. Bit by bit, the rowdy room emptied.

Drunk as I was, swaying every which way, I somehow toppled into a warm embrace.

I seemed to catch sight of a familiar plain scholar’s robe. The brief pleasure I had felt scattered with the wind, and I hurriedly grabbed hold of that wide sleeve. “…Don’t go.”

The other person let me cling to him.

I pulled that broad sleeve, faintly scented with a clean fragrance, over my face, and suddenly, countless sorrows surged up in my chest.

“Father, I miss you so much.”

In truth, what I hated was not Yan Luoxi himself.

It was his identity as Deputy Commissioner of the Northern Pacification Office.

All of this had to begin twelve years ago.

That year, through someone’s recommendation, my father obtained a fine post as Tutor to the Crown Prince.

They called him a tutor, but in reality, he polished the Crown Prince’s writing. Even so, he received no small amount of rewards for it, enough to rent a large courtyard with a flower garden for his family.

There, blue clouds drifted low, clear water wound around the gates, and I would often sit beneath the window, copying calligraphy models amid birdsong and the fragrance of flowers.

Every so often, Father would pick up one of my practice sheets and praise me just so. “Our Zhen’er is still so young, yet her handwriting already possesses something of the spirit of Yan Zhenqing and Wang Xizhi. Wonderful indeed.”

As a Famous Scholar of Jinling, he always carried a trace of arrogance, so such a gratified tone from him was rare.

Just as I was rejoicing over it, Father sighed again. “What a pity. If you were a boy, you would surely pass the examinations with distinction, take first place in all three rounds, and far outshine that Child Prodigy of the Yan Family.”

Young and proud as I was, I refused to accept that. “Why is it that only men can enter officialdom? Father, just take me to the Yan Family. I’ll compete with that boy face-to-face!”

“You are a girl. How could you show yourself in public like that?”

Seeing that I was still angry, Father did not know whether to laugh or cry. In the end, he could only lift me onto his lap and coax me. “All right, all right, we won’t talk about this anymore. Father is just about to compose a new storybook. How about you be the one to write it down?”

“Really?”

“Of course!”

Hearing that, I quickly loaded the brush tip with ink and looked expectantly at the smiling man behind me.

At that moment, a clear breeze brushed the railing, and the spring air was intoxicating.

Father spoke in polished prose beside me, reciting at an unhurried pace, while I concentrated fully on transcribing his words onto the paper. Before I knew it, the first volume was finished.

However, when I asked what the storybook should be called, his smile stiffened. He pondered for a long time but still could not decide.

“Why don’t I name it?”

With that, without waiting for Father’s agreement, I joyfully wrote three large characters on the cover.

At this, Father’s brows drew together slightly, but soon smoothed out again.

“It does fit.”

Only, he never imagined it.

That name, which fit all too well, would in the end become the death warrant the Pacification Office used to fabricate its charges.