Chapter 3
The Emperor seemed to have it in for me.
He came to the inner palace.
We all knelt to greet him. He told everyone else to rise, but made me stay on my knees.
I didn’t want to kneel, either.
I was just about to get up with the others when he gave me an icy look. “Did I tell you to move? No manners at all.”
Being singled out like that.
I really wanted to cry.
So I did. “I miss my dad,” I said miserably.
The Emperor frowned, his fingers tightening.
I looked at him through my tears. “Do you miss my dad, too?”
He took a deep breath and gave a smile that never reached his eyes. “My dear consort. Please rise.”
He sent fruit and delicious food to every palace.
Except mine.
I went crying to him again. “Whenever there was anything nice to eat at home, Dad always thought of me first. Why don’t I get anything here?”
He looked utterly indifferent. “If there’s none, there’s none. Don’t you eat enough already?”
Just then, the Empress arrived.
She wiped my tears. “Don’t cry. You can have my share.”
The Emperor overturned the table and told me to get out.
I walked a little slowly and heard him shouting at the Empress. “I gave that to you! Why would you give it to her? Five hundred thousand soldiers, so what? Her dad this, her dad that, every single day! Who does she think she’s threatening? I might as well give her father the throne, too!”
“You ordered her into the palace,” the Empress said evenly.
“Just as you sent an edict to the Ling family ordering me into the palace.”
“That’s different.” He took her hand. “Ah Ruo, we grew up together. I care for you.”
“And you care for me, don’t you?”
Silence fell inside.
I wanted to hear her answer, so I pressed my ear closer and closer to the door.
Then I lost my balance and fell straight through.
“Wei! Xiao! Tao!”
The Emperor’s roar nearly took the roof off.
The Empress came to help me up. I grabbed her hand and bolted, taking her with me.
“So you were ordered into the palace, too.”
I’d brought the Empress to the pavilion by the lake to feed the fish.
I sat on the steps, swinging my legs in the air.
She refused to sit.
“There isn’t anyone here,” I said. “What are you afraid of?”
She said that made no difference.
She was the Empress. She had to remember her position at all times.
I flopped backward, pillowed my head on my arms, and looked up at her.
Every day, she wore heavy, elaborate court robes and immaculate, imposing makeup.
I was different. I had lots of pretty clothes and could wear whatever I liked.
If I didn’t feel like putting on makeup, I didn’t. I was naturally pretty anyway.
We were about the same age.
She was always so proper, while I bounced around like a monkey.
And she wasn’t happy. Even in her sleep, her brow was always furrowed.
I couldn’t help sighing. “Being Empress isn’t any good at all. Noble Consort is much better.”
She looked down at me, the corners of her mouth lifting faintly. “Is there anyone in this world who doesn’t want to be Empress?”
“Yes,” I said.
“Before I came here, Dad asked whether I wanted to be Empress or Noble Consort. I didn’t want to be Empress, so I chose Noble Consort.”
Her face went white.
I asked what was wrong.
She stared at me for a while, then gave a smile I couldn’t understand and turned to leave.
I wanted to follow.
“Don’t follow me,” she said coldly.
I stared after her, utterly at a loss.
Her smile had always been beautiful. That one wasn’t beautiful at all.
That evening, I went to her palace to sleep, as usual.
The gates were shut. A young eunuch poked his head out and whispered, “Your Highness, Her Majesty is unwell and has retired. Please come back in a few days.”
I was worried. “Have you sent for a physician? Is it serious? Let me in to see her.”
“Please don’t ask any more. You’ll wake Her Majesty.”
The gates closed.
I sat forlornly on the steps.
Whenever Dad did something wrong, Mum would throw him out of their room.
He would sit at the door and wait and wait.
Once Mum softened, she would let him back in.
I really was my father’s daughter.
I sat at the door and waited, too.