Chapter 4

Chapter 4

We should have returned to the capital at once.

But Rong Yunyun liked Jiangnan, so we remained for another month.

One night, beneath a high moon, we went boating together.

Rong Yunyun clung bonelessly to Pei Zhao every moment and kept “accidentally” exposing the love bites on her neck.

When Pei Zhao poured tea for me, he displayed the scratches on his wrist as well.

I was speechless.

Unable to endure the deranged couple any longer, I took Qingxiao and left in a smaller boat.

But our boat moved more and more slowly.

I stared at the boatman in his straw rain cape and sneered. “Xue Shan. That’s you, isn’t it?”

Back on the larger vessel, I had thought the man working the ropes looked familiar.

Pei Zhao had been speaking to me, so I did not study him closely.

Now I was certain.

It was Xue Shan.

He had watched me furtively for so long that I wondered what he wanted.

Did he mean to use our brief affair to blackmail me?

The boatman refused to turn around. In a muffled voice, he said, “No, no. You have the wrong man, my lady.”

I signaled Qingxiao with my eyes.

She nodded and touched the dagger at her waist.

I said flatly, “Tell me, Xue Shan. How much silver do you want?”

To my surprise, Xue Shan turned with a bewildered look, then asked in delight, “You’ll let me come back, my lady? I told you I don’t want money. I want to be with you of my own free will!”

I studied him carefully, searching for deception, and felt a flicker of guilt.

Xue Shan had not lied.

He had not returned to threaten me.

He entered the cabin, thrust a book into my hands, and began to recite.

It was a thick copy of the *Book of Songs*, and he could recite the whole thing backward.

Only a month ago, he had been an illiterate brute.

His progress was so astonishing that even the word genius seemed inadequate.

Xue Shan pleaded, “I can read now, my lady, and I can recite books. Please don’t be angry anymore.”

I looked at the book’s frayed edges and fell silent. “You put a great deal of effort into this, didn’t you?”

He shook his head at once. “Not at all! It wasn’t hard, my lady.”

At my next look, he confessed, “I only had to make time to memorize it around my work, which is why the book ended up like this. I take good care of my belongings, my lady!”

The more he explained, the more anxious he became. His eyes reddened for fear I would blame him.

Looking at him, I drifted into memories of years ago.

I had hidden in my room and practiced calligraphy and the zither day and night, all so I could astonish everyone when I finally emerged.

I was talented, but not exceptional.

In the Cui household, however, there were only two sorts of people: the mediocre and the extraordinary.

No one was permitted to stand between.

Only by working a hundred times harder had I become one of the extraordinary and earned my grandfather’s notice.

When he asked, I merely smiled and said, “I did not work particularly hard.”

I had been lying then.

Xue Shan was not lying now.

If he said it had not been difficult, it truly had not.

Annoyed, I smacked the book hard against his chest.

I had always hated geniuses like him.

Reading my expression, Xue Shan cautiously took my hand.

Unable to hide his concern, he said, “That man treats you badly, my lady. Don’t stay with him.”

I felt the warmth of his hands and quietly leaned into his embrace.

I had asked the Empress for a secret palace drug that could erase a person’s memory.

After one last night with Xue Shan, I would feed it to him, and we would each return to our own fate.

Qingxiao left the boat.

Xue Shan rowed me deep among the lotus blossoms.

The damp fragrance around us closed like an embrace.

His sweat-slicked back pressed hot against me.

Seated in his arms, I felt the world spin. All the joy of life seemed contained in that single moment.

Crown Princess, legitimate daughter of the Rong family, lady of the Cui clan-I wanted none of those names.

The little boat rocked, and rocked, and my heart rocked with it.

But I knew I had to return in the end.

I, Rong Zhiwei, had sacrificed too much. I meant to stand at the summit of power, where no one could ever again dictate my fate.

I stroked his face and sighed. “Stop taking so many day jobs. They will ruin your health. Since you are so gifted, read more books and find steady employment. In the future… in the future…”

Xue Shan rested his face against my shoulder. “My future contains only you, my lady. Wherever you go, I will go.”

He propped himself above me. “Marry me, my lady. I’ll make you Crown Princess.”

Boasting again.

I rolled my eyes. “I have no interest in being Crown Princess!”

Xue Shan actually glared back and muttered, “You truly know how to boast, my lady.”

He nearly made me laugh in exasperation.

Dawn broke outside.

The hour of parting had finally come.

I coaxed Xue Shan into drinking the drugged tea and watched him sink into sleep.

I tucked banknotes into his robe.

Xue Shan, I thought, we will never meet again in this life.

Let this be nothing more than a beautiful, sensual dream.