Chapter 5

Chapter 5

The first time Tang Chen and I broke up was after more than five years together. The trigger was an interview. In those five-plus years, I had filmed several TV dramas as the female lead, and I had also appeared as a special guest in a blockbuster Lunar New Year film. Among actresses my age, I had more or less established my footing. A reporter asked me what my plans were going forward.

I smiled at the camera and said, “I hope I’ll have the chance to build a family of my own and step into a new stage of life.”

Very few rising young actresses in the industry would be that frank, so the reporter just stared at me in shock, as if he couldn’t process what I had just said.

The interview was live. Not long after it ended, just as I got home, Tang Chen called. We had already been giving each other the cold shoulder for a very, very long time. I didn’t speak. Then Tang Chen let out a soft sigh, carrying a trace of fatigue that was hard to detect. “I’m sorry for holding you back all these years. You know that I’ll never be able to give you what you want.” After a pause, he said, “Let’s break up, Liang Ling.”

And then, with perfect courtesy, he added, “I hope you get your wish soon.”

In the more than five years Tang Chen and I had been together, I had brought up breaking up several times. This was the first time Tang Chen had said it.

Once, while I was getting my makeup done on set, my makeup artist Cuicui and I were watching a melodramatic TV series together. In it, the heroine stood in the pouring rain, shouting herself hoarse as she demanded a breakup from the male lead. Cuicui snorted while dabbing at my face with a makeup brush and said, “They won’t break up.”

“In a relationship, as long as the guy doesn’t want to break up, it’s never really over.”

And sure enough, in the very next episode, the male lead rented more than a hundred drones on the Bund to apologize to the heroine. They kissed aboard a brightly lit cruise ship on the Huangpu River, and just like that, they got back together.

I had tried breaking up with Tang Chen a few times before and never succeeded. This was the first time he was the one saying it, and I knew this time we really were done.

Tang Chen was the kind of man who thought everything through carefully. If he said break up, then there wasn’t even the slightest room left to turn things around. But that was fine. The moment I said those words in that interview, I already knew we had truly reached the end this time.

I had done it on purpose.

I didn’t try to make him stay. I quietly hung up.

Maybe because the breakup had been a long time coming, maybe because I had rehearsed it in my mind over and over, the pain of him leaving was still within what I could bear. I threw myself onto the enormous bed like a shabby rag doll no one wanted, lying there with my eyes open, staring at the crystal chandelier above me.

The arguments had started after we moved in together.

Before we started living together, a certain mountainous region had suffered a collapse after torrential rain. The Tang family had risen to prominence from there a hundred years ago. As the next head of the family, Tang Chen seemed to be deliberately tested on his courage and capability, and he was required to personally lead a team into the disaster area to organize rescue efforts and deliver supplies. The situation was so severe that from the moment he entered the disaster zone, I lost contact with him.

A week later, I happened to wrap filming on my drama. Because the area had been devastated by relentless rain and the disaster seemed to be getting worse, I did the boldest thing I had ever done in my life. I joined a truck carrying relief supplies organized by people in the entertainment industry and went into the disaster zone.

The supply truck stopped outside the safety line, but I insisted on going in with the rescue team. One of the others who had gone with us couldn’t understand what I was doing and kindly tried to warn me. “Liang Ling, you can stop the performance here. The media reports have already been sent out…”

She trailed off, but the meaning was obvious: the news about celebrities going to the disaster area to show support had already been published. There was no need for me to risk my life by going deeper inside, especially when there weren’t even any media crews in there filming.

I looked at the dim, surging floodwaters. My family wasn’t obscenely rich, but I had still been cherished and protected by my parents growing up. I wasn’t especially brave. But the moment I thought of Tang Chen, I was filled with courage. I clenched my fists and said, “I’m going in.”

I didn’t have some grand, unwavering courage. I had donated a lot of supplies and money, and that was the kind of help I was capable of offering the disaster. But my reason for going deep into the affected area wasn’t noble.

I just wanted to see my boyfriend.

I wanted to see the man I loved. I wanted to know whether he was safe.

Tang Chen was furious when he saw me. I was a mess at the time. My hair was plastered to my face, soaking wet. The rain had lashed at my eyes until I could barely keep them open. I was wearing a mask, my shoes had been swept away, and the sole of my foot had been sliced open by glass, leaving a long, deep cut. Because it had been soaking in water the whole time, the wound had turned pale and kept bleeding.

The moment he turned and saw me, his brows drew tightly together. But we were on two different boats and could only pass each other by. Under the sharp force of his gaze, I guiltily stuck out my tongue and looked away.

We didn’t see each other again until that night at the rescue point. The second he saw me, he grabbed my shoulders. His grip was strong, and his tone was harsh. “Do you even know what kind of place this is? What are you doing here?”

Actually, I was so happy to see him, but I couldn’t stop the hurt rising in me. I choked up and snapped back, “Because I missed you. Because I was worried about you. Otherwise why would I come all this way just to suffer?”

He froze for a second, then pulled me fiercely into his arms. His voice was low and muffled as he asked, “Are you stupid?”

I couldn’t help laughing. “Only a stupid girl would love you.”

He held me tighter and gently kissed the top of my filthy, dripping-wet hair. Tang Chen actually had a serious cleanliness obsession.

Of course, I couldn’t out-stubborn him in the end. I only stayed with him for one day before he forcibly had me sent back out with the refugees. Before I left, he touched my face with his hands, the skin soaked white and peeling from being in the water too long. His tone was gentle but left no room for argument. He only said, “Be good. Listen to me. Once this is over, I’ll come get you.”