Chapter 4
Chapter 4
The Rong Clan was a family of high prestige, so Dowager Rong’s birthday banquet was naturally a grand and bustling affair.
Claiming illness, I stayed in my room, listening to the thunderous sounds of gongs and drums outside. Chunxiang chatted with me as she worked. “You certainly predicted it well. The older maids outside are all whispering about the outfit Lady Liu is wearing today.”
I smiled. “Her pregnancy is becoming more apparent with each passing day. She has only been in the manor for barely a month, and I have been ill the entire time, so I haven’t had the chance to have any expensive clothes made for her. Even if the General dotes on her, how could he possibly manage all the affairs of the inner chambers? Even if he wanted to provide for her every need, it takes time to select fabrics and tailor new garments. The news from the Palace came late this time, so there simply wasn’t enough time to wait. Right now, that outfit is likely the only thing she has that’s fit for a formal occasion.”
I signaled for Chunxiang to help me dress and do my hair.
“Just a simple style will do.”
Chunxiang complied.
Most of the clothes in my wardrobe were of plain and simple designs. I had been deeply influenced by my father since childhood; as an official in the imperial court, he maintained a household that was upright and frugal. Consequently, neither I nor my brothers had any desire for luxury.
I instructed Chunxiang, “I’ll wear that sea-foam green dress from the year before last.”
“If you’re going out, it wouldn’t be good for both you and Lady Liu to be wearing green,” Chunxiang advised. “Besides, that’s an old dress in a style that was trendy in the capital two years ago. How can you face people in that?”
“If I don’t look like a discarded old wife, how can I serve as a foil for her, the new favorite?” I tapped Chunxiang’s forehead, and she stuck out her tongue with a grin.
When I pushed open the door, even I felt a momentary daze. Although my lifestyle had been simple since childhood, everything I used was of the highest quality. Now, the old clothes and simple hairstyle made me look frail, as if I were a mountain crumbling under the weight of a long illness.
I didn’t go to the banquet hall. Instead, I went straight to the gardens to oversee the servants’ preparations. The maids and older servants almost failed to recognize me when they saw me.
“You don’t recognize me anymore?” I asked with a smile.
An old nanny who usually looked after Rong Zhan hurried forward to bow. “Madam’s grace is peerless; how could we mistake you? You look like you have some color back in your face. Is your health much improved?”
“It’s much the same as always. But I couldn’t rest easy, so I came to take a look,” I replied politely.
I sent Chunxiang to the banquet hall to present my birthday gift to my mother-in-law. When she returned, she couldn’t stop smiling. “Commandery Princess Siheng’s sharp tongue truly hasn’t changed a bit. Lady Liu committed a faux pas because she didn’t know the proper etiquette. The Dowager Empress only looked slightly displeased, but the Commandery Princess was the first to jump out and scold her.”
I raised an eyebrow. “The Commandery Princess is usually very particular about lifestyle and appearances. Did she not notice Lady Liu’s outfit?”
At this, Chunxiang’s smile widened. “You are truly a prophet. The Dowager Empress, the Commandery Princess, and the Old Madam all took shots at her for her excessive extravagance. Their words were laced with thorns, making her lose a great deal of face. However…” Chunxiang looked into my eyes hesitantly. “The General worked very hard to defend her at every turn.”
When the group arrived at the garden, the maids and servants all stood in respectful silence.
I was already dressed in that plain gown made of Cloud Brocade. Although the fabric was worth its weight in gold, it was an outdated material from years ago.
“I wish the Dowager Empress ten thousand years of fortune; may Commandery Princess Siheng enjoy health and peace. Zhuo Hua wishes Mother health, tranquility, and a very happy birthday.”
“Is that Xiao Hua?” the Dowager Empress said with delight. “Come here to me.”
I bowed again and stepped forward. She took my hand. “Your mother-in-law said you were ill. Are you feeling better?”
I had entered the palace as a young girl to attend to the Dowager Empress, and she treated me extremely well. Even after I returned home for my upbringing, there was an imperial decree mandating that I enter the palace every month for a short stay. If Siheng were to be married off to a distant land, I would likely spend even more time in the palace.
“In response to Your Majesty, though I am not fully recovered, I am well enough to move about.”
My mother-in-law hadn’t expected me to show up while ill. She also stepped forward. “My child, your complexion is poor. Have you been so busy with the preparations these past few days that you haven’t been able to recuperate properly?”
“Knowing the Dowager Empress was coming to the manor to celebrate Mother’s birthday, I was worried. I feared the servants might not handle everything perfectly. It’s just that my body is weak right now, and I find it difficult to fulfill all the protocols. I only hope I don’t dampen the spirits of the Dowager Empress and Mother,” I said.
The Dowager Empress held my mother-in-law’s hand in one of hers and mine in the other. “The three of us need not stand on ceremony. Let us sit and talk.”
“Big Sister truly dotes on Xiao Hua the most. As her mother-in-law, I can’t even compare,” Dowager Rong teased.
The Dowager Empress reached out and pinched my cuff, noticing that the inner lining was slightly frayed. She showed it to my mother-in-law and laughed playfully. “Naturally. Xiao Hua grew up by my side; I couldn’t cherish her more if I tried. At the very least, I can afford to have a few nice outfits made for her.”
Rong Zhan looked at me. I nodded in greeting, and he returned a smile. However, perhaps because my face looked haggard from illness, he kept his gaze fixed on me. I looked away uncomfortably.
Commandery Princess Siheng shot me a glance but didn’t say anything to make things difficult. After all, Liu Ruzhuo was now standing in front of me, acting as a shield to catch all her sharp glares.
“I had thought General Rong favored luxury, given how his mere Secondary Wife is adorned with jewels like a treasury, yet Sister Zhuo Hua looks more like a village woman in comparison.” Siheng had always been sharp-tongued; it was impossible to tell how many people she had insulted with that single sentence. Rong Zhan shot her a cold, indifferent glance and ignored her, but his knuckles whitened as he gripped his cup, suggesting he was far from pleased.
“Siheng,” the Dowager Empress rebuked. “Xiao Hua is frugal at home and careful with her expenses. Such virtue is beyond you. If you are rude again, I shall have to punish you.”
I smiled and teased, “Dowager Empress, it is my own pettiness that deserves a scolding.” I made a show of slapping my own face, though I only tapped it twice. “I have been ill, so I had to cast aside the jade and pick up the pebbles. Sister Ruzhuo is pregnant and needs to preserve her health; it was I who instructed the household not to deprive her of anything, ensuring her lifestyle is exceptionally refined. If blame must be laid, I shall punish myself by drinking a cup of white vinegar.”
“This child! A cup of white vinegar would leave you pickled and sour, you little rascal!” Both the Dowager Empress and my mother-in-law laughed, reaching out to playfully pinch my nose, and the atmosphere lightened once more.
I saw Liu Ruzhuo standing blankly behind Rong Zhan. Indeed, she should have known by now that even if she carried two lives within her, she could only stand like a high-ranking maid beside the man who loved her more than life itself, serving the nobility. Yet Rong Zhan secretly took her hand, their fingers intertwining. I knew Siheng would see it, because even if I did not love my husband, I couldn’t help but notice him being so inseparable and affectionate with another woman. How much more so for Siheng?
“Dowager Empress, Xiao Hua begs you to grant Sister Ruzhuo the favor of a seat. She is heavy with child and truly cannot bear the fatigue,” I requested.
“Granted,” the Dowager Empress said.
Before long, Rong Zhan approached and lowered his voice to thank me on Liu Ruzhuo’s behalf. “Thank you.”
My mother-in-law looked displeased. I quickly rose to offer her a peeled honey tangerine. She smiled at me and said nothing more, only reaching out to pat the back of my hand, fearing I might feel slighted.
He was so good to her-noticing her embarrassment and helplessness, considering everything for her sake, and treating her so well regardless of status or the opinions of others.
*How wonderful it would be if Rong Zhan were mine.* The thought suddenly surfaced. This was the first time I had separated ‘Rong Zhan’ from ‘husband’ in my mind. I was certain now: I wanted Rong Zhan. I wanted him to love me, to cherish me, and me alone.
“Dowager Empress, sitting here is dull. Why don’t the ladies play a game of rhyming couplets?” Siheng was intentionally trying to embarrass Liu Ruzhuo. She was used to this tactic; previously, to humiliate me, she had forced me-a woman raised in a sheltered boudoir-to perform horse archery in public. I had done my best but still made a fool of myself, and she had mocked me, saying I wasn’t even fit to trim the hooves of Rong Zhan’s warhorse. Her willful nature hadn’t changed a bit.
“That is a good idea,” the Dowager Empress agreed. “I shall set the theme. Whoever composes the best poem shall be rewarded with a fine hairpin.”
The ladies all voiced their agreement.
“Night rain disturbs my mountain pillow; the cuckoo sobs to bid farewell to late spring,” the Dowager Empress recited.
Dowager Rong pondered for a moment. “In this life, there is no way to make spring stay; in years to come, the warm breeze will coax the green to grow.”
Everyone cheered.
“Chang’e departs the mortal realm, returning to the Ninefold Heavens.”
Siheng gazed at Rong Zhan and chanted, “The heart and soul are shredded like silk; this resentment is hard to quell.”
Most of the women present were well-read; they knew her sorrow was difficult to soothe, but not daring to speak further, they all diverted the conversation toward admiring the flowers.
When it came to me, the Dowager Empress said, “Xiao Hua, your attire today suddenly brings a line to mind: ‘Bitterly lacking threads of gold, to embroider a skirt of common cloth.'”
I caught a glimpse of Rong Zhan out of the corner of my eye and made my plan. “The incense burner accompanies the jade water clock; the Changmen Palace is as thin as if washed clean.”
The Dowager Empress gave a soft, meaningful sigh. “Xiao Hua’s poetry has always been excellent.”
Indeed. Had not Chen Ajiao, the first wife of Emperor Wu of Han, lived in the Changmen Palace? Had not the affection of the youthful promise to ‘hide her in a golden house’ faded into nothing after he met the newcomer, Wei Zifu?
Siheng interrupted, “Dowager Empress, let me set a theme for the Secondary Wife.” Before receiving permission, she declared, “The turtledove occupies the magpie’s nest-”
“Commandery Princess,” Rong Zhan cut her off. “Ruzhuo does not understand poetry. She cannot provide the next line.”
“Whether she can provide the line or not doesn’t matter. Understanding the meaning isn’t difficult.”
*The turtledove occupies the magpie’s nest.* I wondered if, in Siheng’s eyes, I was the ‘magpie’ or if she was.
Liu Ruzhuo stood up awkwardly, stammering for a long time as her eyes welled with tears.
She likely thought that with the sincere love between her and Rong Zhan, everything would go smoothly. But what use was sincerity alone? This world has never allowed heartfelt emotions to overcome all obstacles. This was only the beginning.