chapter 5
Lu Fang had been the one person who treated Lu Jia well. Father and Mother Lu gave her a roof and enough food to survive, and considered their debt of gratitude paid.
Only Lu Fang had truly cared. He looked after her daily life and punished servants who despised her. No wonder Lu Jia’s admiration for him had deepened into love.
Unfortunately, Lu Fang saw her only as a younger sister. When his parents began choosing a husband for her, he even helped them evaluate the candidates with great care.
What a wonderful brother.
Pretending not to notice his expression, I shook my head and spoke slowly through the pain. “It’s all right, Brother. I know you didn’t mean to do it, so please don’t take it to heart.”
His remorseful gaze seemed ready to bore through me. I had no choice but to lower my head.
“If there is nothing else, Brother, I’ll return to my room. My bridal gown isn’t finished yet.”
I waited. When Lu Fang said nothing, I took his silence for consent and turned to leave.
As I stepped over the threshold, I heard a low sigh behind me.
I did not look back. Lu Fang was a good brother, so he should remain a brother forever. Anything else would be bad for everyone.
Besides, there was still Ruthless Lu.
My pace quickened until the maid beside me could barely keep up.
My neck continued to ache beneath the white silk. The pain in my throat reminded me every moment of my fear of Ruthless Lu—and of death.
He had spared me this time. What about next time?
I was not confident I could die yet again and still be reborn.
Once beneath a car, once beneath Ruthless Lu’s hands. Those two brushes with death had taught me just how fiercely I wanted to live. I was timid, and I was terrified of dying.
Back in my courtyard, I stopped at the doorway and looked over my shoulder.
Sunlight spilled across luxuriant peach branches, and birds sang from within the leaves. The peaceful beauty and vitality of it all tugged at me with irresistible force.
I longed desperately for my wedding day, longing more with each passing morning to leave the Lu Residence. Beneath my hands, the bridal gown gradually took shape.
I hid in my room day after day, immersed in my own small world and provoking no one while I carefully counted down the time.
Yet my maid’s behavior grew increasingly strange. Each day, her gaze became more openly appraising.
She had always looked down on Lu Jia for being an orphan, and I had no interest in winning her affection. But her scrutiny became so sharp that I could not ignore it.
Before I could discover what was wrong, Madam Lu abruptly announced that I was being packed off to Spring Mountain Temple to pray for the family until the wedding.
At first, I was utterly bewildered. Why was I suddenly being sent away?
The question lasted only a moment before delight overwhelmed it.
Leave the Lu family. Leave Ruthless Lu. Wonderful!
When I departed Madam Lu’s rooms and started back toward my courtyard, I could barely suppress my smile.
Then I saw Lu Fang striding toward me, and the happiness ebbed like a retreating tide.
I stepped aside to let him pass. Instead, he stopped directly before me and asked in a low voice, “Why did Mother summon you? Is she sending you away?”
I stared at my toes and nodded.
His breathing seemed to quicken before he forced it under control. With a gesture, he dismissed our attendants.
Being alone with him made me anxious. I asked softly, “Did you need something, Brother?”
“Where is Mother sending you?”
His seriousness puzzled me, but I answered honestly. “Spring Mountain Temple, to pray for the family.”
Lu Fang’s jaw tightened as if he were suppressing anger. I could not stop myself from retreating half a step, and he noticed.
He pressed his lips together, hiding the lapse in composure. “I’ll speak to Mother. You don’t have to go.”
He turned to leave. In my panic, I grabbed his arm with both hands. “No. I want to go.”
He stopped and looked back at me. “Be good, Jia’er. This burden shouldn’t fall on you.”
The tenderness in his voice raised goosebumps all over me. His eyes were the exact opposite—black as ink, concealing something dangerous.
“It should. The Lu family has cared for me all these years, and I have no way to repay you. I’ve long wanted to do something for Father, Mother, and you.”
Adversity built character. I was getting better and better at lying with my eyes open.
The lie seemed to move him deeply. His hand slowly clenched at his side. He gazed at me and finally murmured, “I’ve burdened you again.”
What did my praying at a temple have to do with him?
We emerged from behind the artificial hill. The maid and servant waiting ahead had their backs turned and seemed to be talking.
I heard my maid say, “I truly wasn’t the one who tattled. What would I gain by telling Madam that Young Master keeps secretly watching Miss?”
I stopped as abruptly as a cart slamming on its brakes and looked instinctively at Lu Fang.
He did not look at me, but his entire body went taut as a bowstring, as though the slightest added pressure would snap it.