Chapter 3
Mother had not yet returned from the palace.
I went back to my room to take stock of the private savings I had accumulated over the years.
At the door, I found my elder sister waiting outside.
Dressed in plain robes with her black hair loose, she idly twirled a half-wilted rose between slender white wrists.
She always carried herself as though the world could do as it pleased—quiet, easy, utterly content.
I had never seen her actively fight for anything.
At my approach, her relaxed expression faded. She held out a slip of paper.
“This is the Crown Prince’s itinerary for tomorrow.”
It took me a moment to understand.
Before I began currying favor with the Empress, I had tried every possible way to catch Pei Jin’s eye.
I spent a fortune merely to learn scraps of his schedule.
I had even managed to meet him several times and exchange a few words.
At Huguo Temple, I deliberately dropped my handkerchief as I hurried past.
He picked it up and chased after me to return it.
A fine spring rain dampened both our sleeves.
During the Lantern Festival, I pretended to run into Pei Jin by chance.
I thrust the rabbit lantern I had won from a riddle into his arms.
Beneath trees blazing with lantern light and showers of fireworks, I gathered my courage and invited him to walk through the festival with me.
He studied me for a long time before asking with complete seriousness, “Do you mean it?”
…
Looking back, I had been laughably naive.
Affection was not something one could win through effort.
Pei Jin would never fall in love with me because of a few encounters.
If anything, discovering how carefully I had arranged them would only make him despise me more.
I returned to the present and raised an eyebrow. “How did you get the Crown Prince’s itinerary?”
“Our brother is close to him. He mentioned it in passing, and I remembered,” she said.
Then she thought of something and gave a mocking hum. “What? Are you afraid I mean to harm you?”
“I only saw how exhausting it was for you to chase down news every day and decided to help.”
“Weren’t you the one who swore you would never rest until you became Crown Princess?”
I shook my head.
The ambition of youth had once seemed boundless.
But after endless days of cold wind and bitter rain, after watching branches snap beneath a northern gale, I had finally understood.
No one could fight fate and win.
I took the paper from my sister, tore it to pieces without looking at it, and said, “Prepare for your wedding in peace, Sister.”
“I will not fight you for the Crown Prince anymore.”
Mother did not return.
Instead, an imperial summons arrived ordering me to the palace.
Inside the carriage, Eunuch Huang looked grave.
“I do not know what the Marchioness said, but Her Majesty flew into a rage when she heard it and insists on questioning you herself.”
I frowned.
Mother and the Empress had been intimate friends for more than forty years, as close as sisters.
Even if the Empress did not want me to marry Prince Rui, the matter should not have angered her this deeply.
Inside Fengyi Palace, the Empress sat high in the main hall, resentment still clouding her face.
Mother stood awkwardly beside her.
The Empress beckoned me forward and gripped my hand.
“Jingting says you wish to marry Prince Rui. I want to know whether that is truly your desire—or hers.”
“It is my desire, Your Majesty.”
Her frown deepened. “You truly mean that?”
I said yes.
The Empress stared at me in disbelief.
“You have spent all these days at my side, yet the man you wished to marry was not the Crown Prince but Prince Rui?”
From the corner of my eye, I saw Pei Jin enter the hall just in time to hear her.
He looked straight at me.
I lowered my gaze. “Your Majesty must have misunderstood.”
“I have never considered marrying the Crown Prince.”
The hall went silent.
The Empress asked blankly, “Why?”
I answered calmly, “To become a princess of the blood, serve Your Majesty, bring you joy, and live my days in peace would already be more fortune than I deserve.”
“My fate is too slight. I would never dare covet the position of Crown Princess.”
Another deathly silence followed.
The Empress studied me, unable to hide her disappointment.
“Chunying, is this truly the full extent of your ambition?”