Chapter 2

But Heaven did not grant my wish.

When I opened my eyes again, the agonizing pain was gone. My body felt light and unburdened.

To my despair, however, the familiar manor still stood before me.

I knelt on blue-gray paving stones, facing the dignified marchioness.

Seated above me like a bodhisattva in a temple, she said:

“Chunxu, I expect you’ve heard what happened to the maids who served the young lord before you. Every one of them was a vixen intent on seducing her master. Having their faces slashed and being thrown into an illicit brothel was more than their worthless lives deserved.”

“I chose you this time because you seem honest, you’re nothing special to look at, and you were born and raised in this household. You’re different from girls bought outside. Know your place, and once your master passes the examinations, you will be rewarded.”

A slap, then a sweetmeat.

The marchioness had always controlled her servants through threats tempered with promises.

Those familiar words made me understand.

I had been reborn, back on the day I was assigned to the young lord.

Against her ruthless authority, I had no room to resist.

Once again, I was sent to Cloudrest Study.

I thought it would be just like my previous life.

The moment the young lord saw me, he would demand that I be sent away.

Instead, a cool voice came from above me.

“Since Mother sent her, let her stay. She can sleep in the side room.”

He agreed so readily, without the slightest dissatisfaction.

I was not the only one who found it strange. Matron Qin, who had brought me, froze for a moment before letting out a long breath.

“I’m glad you understand Her Ladyship’s good intentions.”

“You work so hard at your studies all day. You ought to have someone attentive at your side—”

She would have gone on admonishing him, but he interrupted.

“I’m tired. I want to rest.”

“Chunxu, see Matron Qin out.”

My uneasiness kept growing.

I had served him for five years in my previous life. I could not claim to know everything about his temper, but I understood most of it.

He had never interrupted anyone, even a servant. He had never been so rude.

Instinct told me something was wrong with him.

Late that night, my suspicion was confirmed.

I slept in the side room, just a partition away from his bedchamber, so I could hear his commands at any time.

The instant the candle fell, I scrambled out of bed and flung a bucket of cold water over the flames before they could spread.

Now the young lord stood in the darkness in his underclothes, surrounded by cold water, his face as grim as a vengeful ghost’s.

I sighed and asked quietly:

“If I’m not mistaken, you’ve lived this life once before too, haven’t you?”

He startled, his eyes filling with astonishment as he looked at me.

I had guessed correctly.

“Too?”

He turned the word over slowly.

After a long time, his gaze grew calm again.

There was even malice in it.

“I spared you once. Why must you haunt me like a ghost that won’t move on?”

I sighed helplessly.

“You were reborn because you burned yourself to death.”

“Why do you think I was reborn too?”

Confusion appeared in his eyes.

“Because you died. Because you left the words ‘Chunxu, go die,’ I couldn’t survive either.”

“Nor could my parents and brothers…”

“We all died under torture in this manor’s punishment chamber.”

His pupils contracted. As though frightened, he stepped back twice.

Then horror spread across his face.

“It… it was Mother? How could she treat human lives so lightly? Has she gone mad?”

I nodded.

“You’re her very life. Of course she’d go mad if you died.”

I watched the man falling apart before me in silence.

He was three years older than me, yet the marchioness had coddled him until his mind was still a child’s.

He knew nothing beyond his books.

Even in killing himself, he had naively thought it concerned him alone—as long as he sent everyone away, no one else would suffer.

His name was Liang Yanchun, and he lived up to it.

Perfectly pure. Perfectly foolish.

But at least he was not bad.

Before dying, he had still been willing to give me a gold ingot and let me go to Mother for my birthday.

Yet if he wanted me dead so badly, why hadn’t he taken me with him when he set the fire?

That was something I had never understood in my previous life.

Now, I wanted an answer.