Chapter 38
Chapter 38
The way they were politely going back and forth reminded him of the scene where relatives would try to shove red envelopes into his hands during the Lunar New Year.
“Yun Youyou, why are you still carrying a chainsaw?”
Wang Yuanyou looked at Yun Youyou with a strange expression.
Yun Youyou didn’t say much, simply replying, “It gives me a sense of security.”
Fang Yu, standing nearby, knew the real reason, but she didn’t speak up. She simply twitched her lips in a speechless grimace.
Yun Youyou poked her head in to peek at the hospital ward.
Ji Lin was already up as well.
Wearing loose hospital scrubs, he was looking down and tidying his quilt.
Yun Youyou glanced at the bed Ji Lin had made so neatly, then looked back at Wang Yuanyou’s bed, where the quilt was piled up in a messy heap.
Hmm…
Ji Lin definitely had obsessive-compulsive disorder and a thing for cleanliness.
“Once you’re finished washing up, go to the dining hall for breakfast. There will be morning care later.”
Fang Yu spoke with a stern face and immediately headed out the door as soon as she finished.
She didn’t have a pleasant attitude toward the Players; they were just a bunch of idiots who increased her workload. Once the Instance was close to ending, she would just eat them all in one go.
Yun Youyou didn’t say anything and followed behind Fang Yu.
Wang Yuanyou muttered under his breath, “What a mean nurse.”
Back in the corridor, Fang Yu glanced at the chainsaw Yun Youyou was cradling in her arms, her lip twitching again.
She really didn’t want to see that chainsaw swinging around here.
“We’ll split up. You go call the ones on the left, I’ll call the ones on the right.”
Yun Youyou naturally had no objection.
She walked to the second ward on the left-hand side.
After opening the door, she found the room pitch black.
“Is anyone there?”
Yun Youyou raised her hand and knocked on the doorframe, but there was still no reaction from inside.
“I’m turning on the light, then?”
Yun Youyou flipped the switch.
The sudden light made her eyes squint uncomfortably.
The bed was empty.
Strange. The door had been locked tight, so where did the people inside go?
Yun Youyou walked to the side of the bed and even bent down to check underneath, but she still didn’t see anyone.
It wasn’t until she turned around that she saw two people squatting in the corner by the door.
Were they playing hide-and-seek?
Seeing that Yun Youyou had discovered them, the two remained motionless.
Yun Youyou asked, “What are you two doing?”
The two looked at Yun Youyou and said in unison, “We are mushrooms growing in the corner.”
Mushrooms?
Right, this was a mental hospital.
The best way to blend into a mental hospital was to treat oneself as a psychiatric patient as well.
The two squatting in the corner watched with wide eyes as the nurse in front of them suddenly lay down on the bed and remained motionless.
They looked at each other silently, feeling very strange.
In the past, whenever nurses encountered them, they would think they were crazy and patiently tell them, “You aren’t actually mushrooms; you’re humans.”
Why was today’s nurse different?
Curiosity gnawed at them like a kitten’s claws, making their hearts itch, which in turn made their whole bodies feel itchy.
Driven by curiosity, they finally stood up, walked to Yun Youyou’s side, and stared at her inquisitively.
“What are you doing?”
Yun Youyou lay on the bed and answered peacefully, “I am a salted fish.”
“No, you are a person.”
The two psychiatric patients’ minds suddenly became clear, their tone certain.
Yun Youyou asked, “What evidence do you have to prove I’m a person?”
The two psychiatric patients were momentarily at a loss for words.
“Because you just are a person, just like the two of us are mushrooms.”
Yun Youyou lay there for a while, but seeing that it was getting late, she had to climb out of the comfortable bed.
She looked at the two psychiatric patients. “It’s time for you to go eat breakfast.”
“No, we’re not going. We mushrooms grow on dew; we don’t need to eat breakfast.”
Yun Youyou raised an eyebrow and smirked. “Are you quite sure the two of you are mushrooms?”
The two psychiatric patients looked at each other and nodded with absolute certainty.
“That’s right. We are mushrooms.”
The next second, two fists came flying their way.
Each patient took a punch square in the face.
Caught completely off guard, their heads were spinning before they even realized what had happened.
Yun Youyou yanked the curtains down from the window and stuffed the two men inside the fabric. “Sorry, but I’m the Little Mushroom Picker.”
The patients: “…”
“You lied to us! Didn’t you just say you were a Salted Fish?” one of the patients shouted angrily.
Yun Youyou dragged them toward the exit. “I didn’t lie to you. My name is Salted Fish. For breakfast today, we’re having Salted Fish Stir-fried with Mushrooms.”
The patients: “!!!”
When Ji Lin and Wang Yuanyou stepped out, they saw Yun Youyou single-handedly dragging the two patients along.
The two patients looked utterly soul-crushed as they were hauled across the floor.
Wang Yuanyou was startled by Yun Youyou’s aggressive posture.
“Aren’t-aren’t you a nurse? Why do you look like a bandit?”
The moment he spoke, both patients looked up at him.
Wang Yuanyou crouched down and said to them, “Blink if you’re being kidnapped.”
The two patients blinked so rapidly they nearly gave themselves eye cramps.
Wang Yuanyou understood.
He stood up and asked Yun Youyou with an air of righteous indignation, “Why are you kidnapping them?”
Yun Youyou replied, “I’m not. I’m just a Little Mushroom Picker. What does kidnapping have to do with me picking mushrooms?”
Wang Yuanyou countered, “But they’re people!”
Yun Youyou looked down at the two men and asked again, “Are you mushrooms?”
The two patients were caught in a dilemma.
Their diseased brains told them: *You are mushrooms.*
However, their primal instincts told them: *If you say you’re mushrooms, you’re going to suffer a terrible fate.*
After agonizing over it for a moment, one of the patients said tentatively, “Actually… we’re poisonous mushrooms.”
Surely no one would want to pick them if they were poisonous?
To their horror, Yun Youyou gave a grand wave of her hand. “That’s perfect. Later on, if any patient doesn’t behave, I’ll feed them the poisonous mushrooms.”
Patients: *Pathetic_look.jpg*
Yun Youyou was already starting to ponder how to process these two poisonous mushrooms.
“Should I stir-fry the mushrooms over high heat, steam them over medium heat, or simmer them into a mushroom soup over low heat?”
Wang Yuanyou: “…How about serving them cold with dressing?”
The two patients were scared out of their wits.
They didn’t want to be cooked and eaten.
In that instant, their minds were clearer than they had ever been.
“We’re not mushrooms! We’re really not mushrooms!”
Yun Youyou crouched down and looked at them, her tone incredibly sincere.
“Really? But I think you two look exactly like mushrooms. You grow in dark corners just like mushrooms do. If you aren’t mushrooms, then what are you?”
“We’re humans!”
Yun Youyou blinked, her long, curled lashes fluttering like the wings of a butterfly about to take flight.
“Really? Are you truly human?”
The two patients nodded frantically.
Yun Youyou’s smile turned mischievous. “Then are you willing to go to the cafeteria to eat?”
“Of course! We’re humans, and humans have to eat!”
“Food is the most important thing in the world! I’m going to eat three bowls today!”
The two struggled out of the curtain fabric and sprinted toward the dining hall.
It was too terrifying!
Poor little mushrooms would be eaten by the devil. They were never going to be mushrooms again!!
The new nurse was a demon!!!