Chapter 2

# Chapter 2

The next day, someone came from the main courtyard to take my measurements for two new outfits.

Concubine Su was overwhelmed by the honor. She thanked Nanny Li, one of the Lady’s trusted servants, over and over.

“She grew up in the countryside. Fine cloth would only be wasted on her. Two sets of maid’s clothes will do perfectly well.”

A concubine was not considered a proper mistress of the household. Even favored servants of the Old Madam and the Lady could look down on them. Concubine Su had survived ten peaceful years in this grand estate because she knew precisely where she stood.

As for me, the best future I could hope for was to stay as a maid. It would silence gossip and give me someone to depend on.

Nanny Li had a kindly face. She smiled. “The Old Madam said the girl is still very young, and the Yu household has never put small children to work. Let her stay without worry. Your own allowance will be increased as well.”

Concubine Su launched into another round of thanks.

My clothes arrived only a few days after I was measured. I put them on at once and spun around and around before the bronze mirror. Never in my life had I worn cloth so fine.

Once my scholar father became addicted to gambling, he squandered everything the family owned. Mother’s meager savings became stakes on his gaming table. When he won, he bought wine and drank until our house reeked. When he lost, he answered the loss with his fists, every blow falling on Mother or me.

Grandmother was cruel as well. After Father failed the examinations, she despised Mother more with each passing day. In her eyes, Mother was the burden that had dragged down a son destined to become chancellor.

Mother and I lived so miserably that even a day with fewer beatings felt like an impossible luxury. New clothes and shoes were beyond dreaming of.

The irony was bitter. Mother had been a lawful wife, while Concubine Su was only a concubine. Yet Concubine Su ate well and dressed warmly. The man of her household might neglect her, but he did not beat her. The Lady was fair. As long as Concubine Su behaved properly, she could live in peace.

Mother had treasured the title of lawful wife all her life, only to meet a wretched end.

“A great household has hardships of its own,” Concubine Su said with a sigh.

Even among concubines, her origins in an opera troupe made her someone people considered beneath notice. Master Yu was old. He enjoyed novelty, but age often left his desires beyond his strength. Her first days in the capital had not been easy.

In time, she came to understand one thing: serving a man was far less useful than serving the women who governed his household.

When she first arrived, she had guarded constantly against the Lady, fearing the lawful wife would harm her. Instead, she discovered that the Lady treated every concubine fairly and never punished Concubine Su for her humble birth. The Old Madam devoted herself to Buddhist practice and seldom interfered in household affairs. But at every festival, she gave rewards to everyone in the residence. Even the lowest concubines received red envelopes.

Concubine Su said Master Yu had favored her for only a year. Then his interest faded.

When he first brought her home, he praised her pipa as music fit for immortals. Later, the same music became decadent noise that corrupted public morals. He developed a taste for opera and began favoring a young actress with a voice like an oriole’s.

The girl was barely older than the Eldest Young Lady. Master Yu was too ashamed to bring her into the residence, so he kept her in a house outside.

“If your mother were still alive, that voice of hers might have bewitched the master too…” Concubine Su murmured.

I was stroking the pristine fabric of my new clothes, unable to get enough of it. My hand paused. “That wouldn’t have been possible. Mother’s voice was ruined after she gave birth to me.”

I had heard that Mother’s labor was difficult. She screamed for a full day and night until her throat was destroyed. The moment Father and Grandmother saw that the baby was a girl, they wanted nothing to do with either of us.

Mother developed a fever that burned for two days. At last, a woman from next door came to see her and gave her a bowl of medicinal herbal tea. It saved her life, but it could not save her voice.

Concubine Su fell silent, then spat again. She cursed my father for being less than human and cursed Mother for choosing her own suffering. But after only a few words, her eyes turned red.

Looking at her, I suddenly remembered how Mother had looked when she was alive.