Chapter 3
It was noon by the time I reached the Fan house.
I pushed open the door to a room in chaos.
Seed shells were heaped on the table. The child’s diapers lay on the floor, chicken feed was scattered everywhere, and nobody had cleared the bowls and chopsticks by the stove.
My widowed sister-in-law sat on the threshold with my little nephew in her arms. Her face darkened when she saw me.
“Oh, you remembered to come back? I thought you’d died out there.”
“Since this morning, nobody’s fed the chickens, washed the clothes, or cooked.”
“We ask you to watch one child, and you vanish.”
“Visiting your mother was just an excuse. You went out to meet some man, didn’t you?”
I stopped and turned toward her. “You seem to know all about it. Had plenty of meetings yourself, have you?”
Her expression froze.
I laughed. “What a shame. Even if you wanted to, nobody would have you.”
Her face went white.
Then she screamed.
“You little bitch! I’ll tear that mouth of yours apart!”
She charged at me with the child in her arms, raising her hand to claw my face.
I gave a cold laugh and kicked the table over.
Crash.
Seed shells, bowls, chopsticks, and leftovers spilled across the floor.
She shrank back in fright. The child began to wail.
I stared at her, my voice so cold I hardly recognized it.
“Say one more word. Go on.”
Her lips shook as she held the child. In the end, she didn’t dare come any closer.
She looked at me as if she’d never met me before.
In the past, when she accused me of sleeping around and urged Fan Erzhu to beat me, all I could do was cry and insist I hadn’t.
Today, I wouldn’t take it anymore.
She backed up two steps, then started screaming at the top of her lungs.
“She’s out of control! Completely out of control!”
“Murder! Xiaochun’s gone mad!”
“Erzhu! Erzhu, come home!”
She ran out of the yard with the child, howling as she went.
The yard fell quiet.
I looked down at the mess. Instead of fear, I felt the fierce satisfaction of finally having struck back.
My stomach growled.
I hadn’t eaten anything since I’d been beaten out of the house that morning.
I went into the kitchen.
White steamed buns, scrambled eggs, cured pork—food I wasn’t ordinarily allowed to touch. I ate as much as I liked.
After swallowing the last bite of bun, I took out the kitchen knife and sharpened it, stroke by stroke, until it gleamed.
I needed a full stomach to settle accounts with the Fans.
My widowed sister-in-law went crying to Fan Erzhu and brought him back.
Drunk in broad daylight, he came at me swinging a wooden club as thick as a wrist.
“Bitch! You dare bully my sister-in-law? I’ll beat you to death!”
I turned and ran outside.
“Help! Fan Erzhu’s trying to kill me to shut me up!”
A group of older villagers were already sitting near the village entrance, cooling off and eating sunflower seeds.
At the commotion, they all rushed over.
Fan Erzhu’s expression changed.
“Shut up! She’s my wife. What fucking business is it of anyone else’s if I hit her?”
I laughed.
“So you do remember I’m your wife?”
“Why didn’t you remember that when you made me wait on your sister-in-law?”
“I work in the fields. She sits at home eating sunflower seeds.”
“I eat leftovers. She gets white steamed buns.”
“She so much as frowns, and you come beat me.”
“Anyone would think she was your wife.”
The villagers perked up at the prospect of juicy gossip.
“Bullshit!” Fan Erzhu shouted.
He swung his club, but an old man stopped him. “Zhuzi, no hitting. Talk it out.”
His eyes stayed on me, encouraging me to continue.
My widowed sister-in-law was deathly pale. “Xiaochun! What nonsense are you talking?”
I stepped back at once.
“Why are you so upset?”
“Did I say anything was going on between you two?”
“I was only praising Erzhu’s devotion to his family. Look how well he takes care of his own sister-in-law.”
“Bullshit!” he roared. “I treat her well because you owe my brother! He wouldn’t have died if it weren’t for getting you married!”
There it was again.
As long as he blamed me for his brother’s death, he could dodge the guilt of having caused it, abuse me with a clear conscience, and even look like a devoted brother.
Today I would rip that mask off!
I stared at Fan Erzhu and asked, word by word, “You’re always telling me I owe your brother a life.”
“But he was already dead when I married into this family.”
“I don’t even know what he looked like. How could I have killed him?”
“Who did he really go away to work for?”
“Who took the compensation money?”
“Who got his house?”
I laughed bitterly.
“Fan Erzhu, who really owes your brother his life?”
His face changed, but I gave him no chance to speak.
“If you wanted to be good to your sister-in-law, why not marry her? Why drag me into it?”
“Or were you afraid of gossip? Did you marry me to hide something?”
“You married me, then treated me like dirt and made me slave away for your darling sister-in-law!”
A few of the older women exchanged looks. Sure enough, their expressions changed.
“Come to think of it… something isn’t right. Erzhu really does fuss over her too much.”
“Maybe his brother found something out. Otherwise, why would he be in such a hurry to leave?”
“Who knows? Maybe Erzhu had something to do with the accident, too.”
“Exactly. Without that compensation, could he have found a wife? Could he afford to drink all day?”
“That’s what I’ve been saying. Erzhu lived off his brother, never farmed, never worked, just hung around the village entrance. How did he become such a devoted brother the minute the man died?”
“Hah! He wasn’t so good to his brother when he was alive. Now he drinks and cries at the grave every day. Who’s he performing for? A ghost?”
“Maybe he’s pleased as can be. His brother dies, and he gets the money, the wife, the good name. Every benefit goes to Erzhu.”
“Then that nephew of his… is he really his brother’s, or…”
The women gave my pale sister-in-law and the child in her arms a meaningful look.
“You never can tell with these things.”
I watched, unmoved.
Fan Erzhu’s cherished reputation as a devoted brother had collapsed completely.
Now he was suspected of carrying on with his sister-in-law and murdering his brother.
He lost control.
“Shut up! All of you, shut up!”
Veins bulging, he charged at me with the club raised.
“I’ll kill you, bitch!”
“Go on, then!”
I held the knife across me and glared at him.
“If you don’t kill me now, you’d better sleep with your eyes open from this day on.”
“Otherwise, I’ll kill you.”
My fury stopped him. His grip tightened again and again around the club, but he didn’t dare advance.
He locked the front gate and snorted. “Fine. If you’re so capable, don’t come home.”
“Let’s see how long you last without me.”
“When you admit you were wrong and beg me on your knees, I’ll let you back in.”