Chapter 11

Chapter 11

The Zhou Family fell faster than I imagined.

Shen Guan sent the ledgers to the prefectural city, which uncovered a chain of grain relief cases. On the day Qingshi Town opened its granaries, many commoners knelt in front of the county office, weeping.

My father went too.

After he came back, he sat in a daze in front of the lecture desk.

I poured tea for him.

He suddenly said, “Wanzhao, have I taught wrong?”

My heart tightened.

“Why do you say that, Father?”

He stroked the discipline ruler.

“I taught them benevolence, righteousness, propriety, and wisdom, but I didn’t teach them how to preserve those virtues in front of evil people. I taught them not to do unto others what they don’t want done unto themselves, but I didn’t teach them what to do if someone insists on doing violence.”

These words didn’t sound like something my father would say.

In my last life, he believed until death that studying could enlighten one’s reason.

In this life, he finally saw that some people understand reason and still commit evil.

I said, “Then start teaching from now.”

My father looked up at me.

I placed the old crossbow made by Xie Wujiu onto the lecture desk.

“Teach them how to write, and also teach them how to read accounts. Teach them to recite texts, and also to examine contracts. Teach them to reason, and also when to report to the authorities, when to preserve evidence, and when to run.”

My father looked at that crossbow and didn’t speak for a long time.

That night, I went to the south of town to tidy up Madame Qin’s old house.

There wasn’t much inside.

A chipped medicine bowl, half a bag of moldy rice, an old padded coat mended over and over.

Xie Wujiu squatted by the stove, picking up the shards of the medicine bowl one by one. His fingers were cut by the pieces but he didn’t stop.

I said, “Don’t pick them up.”

He kept his head down.

“This is the last bowl my mother ever used.”

I couldn’t speak.

Outside, someone was setting off firecrackers.

The Zhou Family had fallen, the granaries were opened, and many in Qingshi Town could finally have a full meal. They should be happy. But that little bit of merriment drifting into this broken house only made it seem colder.

Xie Wujiu suddenly asked me, “Lin Wanzhao, if I don’t hate, then my mother would have died for nothing?”

I crouched in front of him.

“No.”

“Then why do you always tell me to endure?”

His voice wasn’t loud, but it hurt more than a shout.

“Zhou Cheng’an beat me, you told me to endure. The Zhou Family arrested my mother, you told me to endure. Even when Magistrate Zhou laughed in prison, I had to endure. What use is studying? Is it just to make even my hatred more proper?”

I looked at his hands.

Those hands would one day hold a knife, write edicts, and decide the fates of many.

In my last life, I only remembered how cold he was when he killed. Only after living this life again did I understand that he wasn’t born cold; it was that every time he wanted to reach out, no one was there to catch him.

I said, “I shouldn’t have only told you to endure.”

He looked up at me.

“I taught wrong.”

Those words were hard to say.

But I was truly wrong.

I treated him as someone who would become bad, carefully holding him down, afraid he’d step out of line, afraid he’d lose control, afraid he’d go down the path of his last life.

I forgot that at this moment he was just a child who had just lost his mother.

“Hate is allowed,” I said. “But you have to know who it should fall on. Magistrate Zhou harmed you, you can investigate him, sue him, make him pay with his life according to law. But you can’t think that just because Magistrate Zhou deserves to die, everyone in the world deserves to die.”

Xie Wujiu was silent for a long time.

“What if the law can’t protect me?”

I said, “Then first survive, preserve evidence, find people, wait until the day you can protect yourself.”

He looked down at the porcelain shards.

“You make it sound easy.”

“It’s not easy,” I said. “So from now on, the private school will teach this.”

He finally looked at me.

I took a handkerchief and pressed it against the wound on his hand.

“Teach people to read, and also how not to be bullied. Teach people to reason, and also what to do when reason doesn’t work.”

Xie Wujiu didn’t argue further.

He only wrapped up the broken bowl and placed it in his bosom.

For many years after, I would remember that night.

It was from that moment I understood that saving someone isn’t forcefully dragging them onto the path I think is clean.

It’s acknowledging he has mud, blood, and hate on him, and then accompanying him to think clearly, so his next step doesn’t tread on innocent people.

The next day, my father changed the lessons.

Mornings for reciting texts, afternoons for examining accounts.

Xu Yuanbao was the most miserable.

“Teacher, my father said I only need to know how to count pork money.”

My father said, “Then you should learn even more, lest someone tricks you into believing a pig only has three legs.”

The whole private school burst into laughter.

Xie Wujiu also laughed.

After Madame Qin passed away, he had grown thinner, even more taciturn, but he still came to class every day.

He sat in the last row, copying account books for my father, and his handwriting got better and better.

Sometimes I would think, maybe life could really go on like this.

Until Shen Guan came to find me.

He stood in the back courtyard and came straight to the point.

“Miss Lin, someone in the capital wants Xie Wujiu.”

I said, “Isn’t he a witness?”

“He is the Orphan of the Yan Prince.”

I was silent.

Shen Guan looked at me. “You knew all along.”

“I guessed a bit.”

“More than a bit.”

I didn’t argue.

Shen Guan didn’t press further.

“The letter the Zhou Family sent out has already reached the capital. The Prince Yan case is too deeply involved. If Xie Wujiu stays in Qingshi Town, it will only attract more people. I want to take him to the prefectural city, then transfer him to the Northern Border Old Army.”

I asked, “Is the Northern Frontier safe?”

“Safer than here.”

“What will he become?”

Shen Guan didn’t answer right away.

I understood.

The Northern Border Old Army had waited twenty years for the bloodline of Prince Yan.

What they wanted wasn’t a bookish youth.

They wanted a young master, a banner, someone who could overturn their case.

Perhaps also a blade.

I said, “He won’t agree.”

“He already has.”

I froze.

Shen Guan looked toward the private school.

Xie Wujiu was explaining accounts to Xu Yuanbao.

Xu Yuanbao listened with an anguished expression.

Chen Sangsang was sitting outside the window, secretly laughing with her head lowered.

That moment, the courtyard was very quiet.

Sunlight fell on the pages, as if all hardships had passed.

Shen Guan said softly, “Miss Lin, Qingshi Town can’t keep him.”

I knew.

I had always known.

I just didn’t expect it to be so soon.