Chapter 4

Chapter 4

That meal, at least for me, tasted like nothing at all.

In truth, every day I spent with Xu Chang tasted like nothing at all.

I wanted so badly to snap those silver handcuffs around this man’s wrists. I thought about it every day, thought about it until I was almost going mad.

Then a languid, teasing voice cut through my thoughts.

“Ah Qing, there’s a shipment stopping at East Port tomorrow. Handle it for me yourself.”

I looked up, past the dishes spread across the table, at the man sitting opposite me.

“The buyer is very cautious. Go alone. Don’t bring anyone.”

“…”

I froze for a moment and asked instinctively, “What kind of shipment?”

He stared at me, his smile deep and unreadable.

And I understood. What I shouldn’t ask about, I shouldn’t ask about. That was just how Xu Chang was. He kept things even from me. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have spent the past few years gathering evidence at such a snail’s pace.

I nodded, picked up my bag, and headed for the door.

“All right. If there’s nothing else, I’ll get going. I…”

But as I passed him, he caught my wrist.

“Why are you so distracted today?”

His fingers traced idly over the inside of my wrist, with no intention of letting me leave.

I gave a bitter smile.

“I just dealt with one of my men this afternoon. I guess… I’m a little tired.”

The man said nothing more, but he still didn’t let go.

The room fell into complete silence. All I could feel was the slow, repeated brush of his fingers over my wrist.

Until his voice softened.

“Stay tonight, hm?”

In that instant, my first instinct was to refuse.

“Forget it. Don’t I have something to do tomorrow-mmph.”

Then I was yanked hard into his arms and pressed down against the dining table, a flurry of kisses falling along my neck.

The dim yellow light flickered between shadow and glow. In my panic, I looked into his eyes.

He was always like this when desire overtook him.

Restrained, yet his eyes would redden.

Mad, and yet… holding himself back.

I barely slept the entire night.

So when I woke the next day, it was inevitably… already late in the morning.

The sheets were a mess, and the man beside me was nowhere to be found.

I got up, tried to clear my tangled thoughts, and took a shower.

The deal Xu Chang had mentioned was set for midnight tonight at East Port.

So I still had time to get myself together. But before that, I needed to think through two things.

First: what exactly was Miss Lin to Xu Chang, and what was her goal?

If Miss Lin really was Xu Chang’s cherished, unattainable love, that would be ideal. Then Xu Chang would have a weakness. An enemy with a weakness was far less dangerous.

If she wasn’t, then things would be troublesome.

That would mean she was coming for me. She wanted to bring me down. As for why, I didn’t know. Whether she could be turned from enemy to ally, I didn’t know either.

Second: had my identity been exposed to Xu Chang?

That was what worried me most.

Xu Chang was far too difficult to read. No one ever knew what move he would make next.

People in the underworld feared him precisely because he could invite you to tea with one hand while driving a knife into your side with the other.

As I thought, my fingers found the SIM card hidden in the inner compartment of my bag.

The Bureau had given it to me. It was also my final resort.

Back then, the director had patted my shoulder and told me that if there ever came a day when I couldn’t stay undercover anymore, I should use this SIM card to make the call. No matter what, the Bureau would protect me. Even if I was trapped in a wolf’s den, they would get me out.

But if I made that call, everything would have been for nothing.

Everything of mine.

Six years of endurance. The blood of my colleagues. Every step I had taken against justice.

I would become a sinner before the very court I served, because every sacrifice would have gained us nothing at all.

I dreamed of putting handcuffs on Xu Chang’s wrists. I dreamed of it every night.

I didn’t know how many times I turned that SIM card over in my fingers before I finally closed my eyes.

And placed it back into the hidden compartment.