chapter 3

chapter 3

I expected harsher mockery after the suicide attempt. Instead, everyone ignored me.

For the old Bai You, isolation had been tragedy. For me, it was the peace I had always wanted. Alone, I could study the exam papers.

Bai You was not stupid. Her foundation was solid, but she was slow and inflexible. Given enough time she could solve a problem; traps and time pressure defeated her.

I, however, had once been a top student who excelled at analyzing the examiner’s intentions. Within days, I understood how this world’s math and physics questions were designed. I completed assignments faster and slept before eleven rather than studying until dawn.

Mother peeked through my door, suspecting I was playing on my phone, only to hear me snoring.

I inherited Bai You’s strength in Chinese, practiced handwriting to explain the change, and asked teachers for advice. They decided that surviving suicide had changed my state of mind: I no longer studied to keep a fiancé, but for myself.

Their explanation saved me the trouble of inventing one.

Only Bai Zhuo could not accept it. She had expected greater timidity. Instead, I happily sat alone, hummed while doing papers, and boldly asked every high-ranking classmate for help.

If someone wished to refuse, I used Mother’s expressions: pitiful innocence, eager thirst for knowledge, or worshipful admiration. Before the college entrance exam, such techniques were innocent.

Within days, I had befriended the top five students. I never asked for free. Mother cooked marvelous food, and anyone who tutored me received a delicious reward the next day.

Eventually I carried a physics problem to Qi Sinian. Physics had always been my weakest subject, while he was almost divine at it.

He had watched my transformation without interference. I pressed my palms together and looked at him with wide, pleading eyes. Mother said no cold man could withstand that.

His face warmed by a degree. He examined the problem, glanced at me in surprise, and began explaining in a clear, pleasant voice.

Before he finished, Bai Zhuo appeared with her two followers.

“What are you doing?” she demanded tearfully. “Haven’t you canceled the engagement? Why let her approach you?”

Her followers accused him of lacking boundaries and giving a temptress a chance. Everyone stopped working to watch. I joined them.

Qi Sinian’s expression froze. “Canceled? I never agreed. Bai You is still my fiancée. I haven’t crossed a boundary. You have.”

“What?” I blurted before Bai Zhuo.

He glared at me. “Yes. You’re still my fiancée.”

“Why?”

He stared through me, grinding his teeth. “I’ve been promised to you since I was seven. It’s been ten years. I’m used to it, all right?”

I nodded vigorously. “All right, all right.”

His prepared tirade died instantly. Mother had taught me to yield before the strong when it served my purpose.

Bai Zhuo swayed. Afraid she might fall and blame me, I thanked Qi Sinian and fled with my papers.

From then on, I asked him all my physics questions. If he refused to cancel the engagement, he could at least perform a fiancé’s duties.

My goal was a better score—for Mother’s vindication, but even more for myself. An examination could remake a life. The higher the score, the better the rebirth. Pride was a small price.

Qi Sinian suffered under my relentless questions. Whenever he showed impatience, I asked sadly, “Am I no longer the fiancée you refused to abandon?”

His attitude changed at once.

A month later, my first exam arrived. Thirty-five of thirty-eight students remained in the elite class. The old Bai You had always ranked thirty-fourth or thirty-fifth.

Without exhausting myself, I ranked nineteenth.

Mother cried for forty-nine minutes. Then she stared at me in worship.

I stroked her head and seized the opportunity. “Do you know why I improved? Father wasn’t here. Our energies clash. He ruins my exam luck.”

Superstitious Mother immediately agreed. Since Father had been imprisoned, my ranking had soared by more than ten places.

“Other fathers help their daughters. He drags you down. He can stay away until after your entrance exam.”

I cheered inwardly.

I had not chosen to become her daughter, but she fed and protected me. If she was my mother, she needed to perform a mother’s duties. Some mothers required explicit instructions.

I hated Father, but she loved him, so I could not simply demand his removal. Exam luck solved the problem.

She represented both moral failure and maternal devotion. I hugged her and called her my ladder to heaven.

“I didn’t do anything,” she said happily. “You earned the score.”

I immediately explained how decisive her cooking had been. Energized, she shoved me away, opened a recipe app, and forgot all about Father.

Perfect.