Chapter 4

Chapter 4

At daybreak, Xie Yunye entered the palace to report on his duties.

After I finished washing and dressing, I went to pay my respects to Old Madam.

Before I even entered the room, I heard voices inside.

“Old Madam is in good health. You are only thinking too much.”

When I stepped in, I saw Gu Qinghan sitting beside Old Madam’s couch, her fingers resting on Old Madam’s wrist.

Old Madam raised her eyes to me, her gaze carrying an unreadable scrutiny.

“Rong Yu is here. What am I thinking too much about? I am thinking about the Marquis Manor having no heir.”

I lowered my head and said nothing.

She knew perfectly well that Xie Yunye had gone to war on the day of our wedding, and that he and I had never consummated the marriage. Where would a child have come from?

“Miss Gu.”

Old Madam suddenly spoke. “Take Madam’s pulse as well.”

I had just been about to refuse when Gu Qinghan had already risen and walked to me.

“Madam, please extend your hand.”

Her fingers settled on my pulse.

A moment later, she frowned slightly, as if choosing her words with care. “Madam’s body is somewhat weak. I fear… it may be difficult for you to have children.”

As soon as the words left her mouth, she seemed to realize what she had said and hurriedly covered her lips. “I… I did not mean to say it aloud…”

She was not wrong.

In my previous life, I only gave birth to Xie Qu five years after marrying.

During those years, I endured Old Madam’s open and hidden reproaches, as well as all the pointing and whispering from others.

Only, I had difficulty conceiving. Gu Qinghan simply did not want to bear children.

I had not known any of this while alive.

Only after death, when my soul drifted through the mortal world, did I witness a past I had missed.

It was a late autumn night.

Xie Yunye was dead drunk when he staggered into Gu Qinghan’s courtyard.

Floating outside the window, I watched him trap her on the bed, his voice hoarse. “Qinghan, bear me a child.”

Her answer was a crisp slap.

“I will not be a concubine, and my child will never be a concubine’s child. If you want a child, let Madam bear one.”

Xie Yunye held his cheek, his eyes red. “You are right by my side, yet I feel as if you are so far away from me. You will not even give me a child?”

Gu Qinghan turned her face away. “Ah Ye, do not make things hard for me.”

Xie Yunye stood there for a long while, then finally stumbled out.

I followed him all the way.

I watched him stagger through the corridor and barge into my courtyard.

At that time, I had just been scolded by Old Madam over the matter of heirs and was secretly crying.

Without another word, he pressed me down on the couch and roughly tore open my clothes.

I struggled.

But he was frighteningly strong, and my name was slurred on his lips.

Afterward, he seemed remorseful. In a hoarse voice, he said he had hurt me, then said he was sorry.

It was also that night that I conceived Xie Qu.

When I was alive, I had thought Xie Qu was the child I gained after five years of enduring and five years of praying.

Only after death did I learn that he was what Xie Yunye could not give Gu Qinghan, and so had settled for bestowing upon me instead.

Even in the end, Xie Qu betrayed me too.

…