Chapter 3
In truth, the first one I prayed to was not any god in the vast heavens, but Song Lingchuan.
I was in so much pain.
More pain than I could bear.
I set out an altar, prepared candles and incense, and lit three sticks. With all my heart, I prayed that Song Lingchuan would hear my voice and come save me.
But he never came.
Endless darkness lay before my eyes. My heart seethed as if in boiling oil, and every bone in my body bore the dense imprint of pain.
I asked the old scholar in our village,
“If men ascend and become immortals, what happens to their wives?”
I did not ask for one man’s ascension to carry his entire household into heaven.
But were their wives not even allowed to go on living ordinary lives?
Tears streamed down my face.
They made my eyes hurt even worse, but nothing could stop them.
The old scholar sighed softly.
He racked his memory and found several stories to tell me.
Fuxi and Nüwa were a pair.
The Lord and Lady of Thunder were a pair.
The Cowherd and Weaver Girl were a pair.
The Kitchen God and his wife were a pair.
“If immortals in heaven wish to live as husband and wife, either both must possess extraordinary powers, or they must endure a great ordeal together.”
“You have no powers and have endured no such ordeal. You and Immortal Song cannot remain husband and wife.”
“What matters now is that you appeal to him.”
“Tell him you offended him. Beg him to heal your eyes and give you a letter of repudiation. Only then will your calamity end.”
Was that truly how it was?
Did it really have to be?
Perhaps the pain had muddled my mind and left me desperate enough to grasp at any cure.
I truly did pray to Song Lingchuan again.
I reset the altar, lit the candles, set the incense in its burner, and pleaded devoutly.
“Song Ling—Immortal Song, if your spirit truly watches from heaven, then for the sake of my having saved you, please end my suffering and restore my sight. Give me a letter of amicable separation as well. From then on, immortal and mortal will walk separate paths, and I will harbor no other hopes.”
I still had a shred of pride then.
I had done nothing wrong, I thought. Song Lingchuan had no right to repudiate me.
Not even after becoming an immortal.
There was still no response.
Despair fell like a hammer, shattering the last fragment of my pride.
When I next burned incense, I whispered with trembling lips,
“If you truly refuse to grant an amicable separation, then simply cure my eyes and end the pain. A letter of repudiation will do.”
Silence was still my only answer.
That night, a pretty young woman entered my dreams.
Her eyes were bright and lively. After looking me up and down, she declared haughtily,
“Stop praying. Senior Brother will never answer you.”
“You’re a thief. You stole the destined bond between Senior Brother and the imperial princess.”
“Senior Brother hates you. Why would he ever give you a letter of separation or repudiation?”
“If he wrote one, wouldn’t that prove he truly shared such a bond with you?”
“If you had any sense, you would end your life now and let everyone forget this ever happened.”
“And if you don’t… well, then wait three years and die in agony.”