Chapter 4

Chapter 4

The next day, Gu Xiaojing came back from the door carrying three huge bags of fruit.

“Did someone deliver these to the wrong place?”

I stared at the three bags of fruit and fell into deep thought.

There was everything-watermelon, apples, peaches. It looked like the person had no idea what I liked, so he had simply bought a little of every fruit the supermarket had.

This must have cost quite a bit.

In the few seconds that I stayed silent, Gu Xiaojing kept his eyes fixed on me the entire time.

Though he claimed someone else had delivered them by mistake, his hands had already carried everything inside, as if he knew perfectly well they were meant for me.

I said, “I asked the guy next door to buy them yesterday. He was heading north, and I figured fruit would be cheaper over there. I just didn’t expect him to buy this much.”

“Send some back to him.”

Gu Xiaojing sat down on his own and began taking the fruit out of the bags one by one, as if he were slowly counting up my crimes.

“Did he come by yesterday when I went downstairs to buy groceries?”

I lay flat on the bed, legs crossed, and gave a hum of acknowledgment.

He was always like this. Even when he wasn’t by my side, he could still pinpoint exactly when another man had appeared. That sharp cleverness he’d had back in school had all been applied to remembering the people, events, and things I came into contact with in daily life.

Back when he was in school, he loved writing things down on paper. He had a way with words, and even now, he still kept writing-what time I left the house, which roads I took, where I passed by, whom I interacted with, what I said, and even my sensitive spots…

Sometimes I would lie against his back and watch him carefully record my likes and dislikes, stroke by stroke. That same notebook was occasionally used to calculate our household expenses.

How much we earned in a month, how much we spent, how much was left, and how the extra money would go toward buying condoms.

I knew that in the mornings, he would follow behind me, watching me all the way to work, silent as if carrying out some kind of stalking plan.

He thought I didn’t know. In truth, I had long since flipped through the other diary he had hidden away-the one filled with his secret, shadowy thoughts-so many times the pages were practically worn out.

In that diary, he was always loathing and resenting everyone who came into contact with me.

He was far too insecure. Perhaps he felt that without the halo of being the Young Master of the Gu Family, he had nothing at all-not even the ability to guarantee me a slightly better living environment.

Gu Xiaojing had never actually thought there was anything wrong with being a househusband. He didn’t hold the traditional belief that men worked outside while women managed the home.

On the contrary, he liked being provided for. To him, it was proof that he was loved.

But that didn’t stop him from being insecure. He knew very well how outstanding I was, and he knew that one day, I would reach greater heights and face more and bigger temptations.

What he feared even more was that one day, I would grow sick of this way of life and choose to leave him.

He was afraid I had chosen him because of his family background. Though that had once made him feel lucky, that was before. Now, he had been kicked out of his family.

He had no bargaining chips left.

Even if he was obedient enough, it seemed he might still become someone who could be abandoned at any moment.

Gu Xiaojing’s eyes were pitch-black as he slowly took the fruit out of those three bags. Every single fruit was plump and glossy, as if I could see exactly how carefully the other person had chosen them at the mall, like some subtle signal being sent to me.

He gripped a rosy apple, his five fingers nearly sinking into the flesh.

That shameless little bastard.

Gu Xiaojing picked through them, yet couldn’t even find a single bad piece of fruit to use as an excuse to sow discord.

“Oh. He doesn’t know you don’t like apples?”

Without thinking, I said, “We’ve only met a few times. We’re not that close.”

It was clearly such a simple sentence, but Gu Xiaojing just had to overthink it. In his mind, I was defending him. I was explaining on his behalf. I was implying that we would gradually become closer in the future.

His gentle mask was slowly torn apart. Expressionless, he picked up an apple. “Then throw the apples back to him.”

He used the word “throw,” sharp with emotion.

That was him making it clear to me that he was angry.

After all, he had also been spoiled since childhood. Though he appeared gentle on the outside, that didn’t mean Gu Xiaojing had no temper.

Someone had practically issued a challenge right to his face. How could he possibly not be angry?

I propped myself up from the bed, stuck close to his side, and leaned against him. “Mad?”

Gu Xiaojing was wearing a racerback tank top and shorts. His body was warm, but no matter how hot he got, he would never take off his shirt and go bare-chested.

Maybe it was because he’d grown up in an environment where wearing a suit all year round still wouldn’t make him feel hot, so he simply couldn’t bring himself to do something like that. Or maybe, deep down, he was still an occasionally conservative big boy.

Occasionally conservative, meaning he wasn’t conservative in bed.

Not in the slightest.

Like right now. He was unhappy, and he also knew I meant to comfort him. He turned his head to look at me, paused for only 0.01 seconds, and then kissed me.

The three bags of fruit that had originally been arranged neatly were scattered everywhere.

He seemed to want to let out the gloom and desire in his heart all at once. His mouth kept saying, “Is this okay?” “Can I do this?” “Can we do it one more time?” But his hands were nowhere near as gentle as his words.

I braced one hand against the wall and bit my lip to hold back my voice. The soundproofing in our shared apartment was terrible; the slightest bit of noise would be known by everyone the next day.

So even though we were in a perfectly legitimate relationship, every time somehow felt like an affair.

Gu Xiaojing reached out and took another one. Confused, I asked, “There are more?”

He smiled, his eyes much clearer now, all that gloom swept clean away. “There was money left over last month, so I used it to buy them.”

I grabbed a handful of his hair.

I was done.

What kind of normal person budgets just so he can buy condoms?