chapter 2

Shen Tingwei narrowed his eyes. “You had better be telling the truth.”

I nodded earnestly. “I am. I used to be jealous when you treated Sister better than me. Not anymore. If you wish to break the engagement, then break it. If not, we can live together as courteous strangers. Beyond that, I expect nothing from you.”

For a moment, he looked lost.

When I had finished, I turned and caught up with Xu Lang, leaving Shen Tingwei—and the past—behind me.

“Is the schemer telling the truth, or is this another hard-to-get tactic?”

“I don’t believe she became honest after one year. Don’t forget what she used to do to the heroine.”

“Is it just me, or is the childhood sweetheart reacting strangely? He seems to be staring at the supporting girl.”

“Xu Qiyu must have something else planned.”

I was not angry that the comments thought this of me.

After all, I really had set Xu Chaojin up many times before.

My only regret now was that my schemes had not been thorough enough. I had allowed myself to be exposed.

I released a quiet breath. Xu Lang noticed.

“See something you like?”

Coming back to myself, I pointed at random to a rabbit lantern. “Brother, that lantern is beautiful.”

Xu Lang bought it. Just as he was about to hand it to me, Xu Chaojin happened to sigh.

His grip tightened around the handle. He turned to her. “Is there one you like, Chaojin?”

She answered with open generosity. “I liked that one too, but since Sister spoke first, let her have it. I wouldn’t want her to overthink things again. I don’t need one.”

She was always like this—so generous, so magnanimous. The moment she spoke, anything I received became something she had yielded to me.

I gained the benefit, while she became the gracious elder sister.

No one could fault her.

People would look at her with affection, then turn a scrutinizing eye on me.

Was this girl always stealing her sister’s things?

Xu Lang’s outstretched hand hesitated again.

I took the lantern directly and offered it to Xu Chaojin.

“If this is the only one Sister loves, she should have it. I’ve seen others I like. Brother can buy me another, can’t he?”

The final question was for Xu Lang.

Relief crossed his face. He nodded. “Of course. Which other one do you like?”

Xu Chaojin pressed her lips together and refused to reach for the lantern.

I forced it into her hands. “Here, Sister.”

She had no choice but to accept it.

Xu Lang nodded approvingly. “Qiyu really has grown much more considerate.”

I merely smiled and chose the most exquisite lantern on the stall.

“It’s only been a few days and Xu Lang is already softening toward the supporting girl.”

“Clearly her methods have improved. Eldest Miss, be careful.”

Warned by the comments, Xu Chaojin regarded me warily.

I pretended not to notice. Without seeming to, I moved into step beside Xu Lang, leaving Shen Tingwei and Xu Chaojin behind us.

When the lantern festival ended, I returned home without saying another word to Shen Tingwei.

Xu Chaojin’s claim that she had given up Qin Yi was false.

My claim that I had given up Shen Tingwei was true.

Back at home, Father and Mother summoned Xu Chaojin alone and told Xu Lang and me to retire.

I returned to my courtyard.

The first thing I saw was the Buddha statue enshrined on my table.

My maid laid out a prayer cushion and handed me incense.

Every time I returned to my room, the first thing I did was burn incense and pray—to purge the baleful influence around me.

I had followed that habit for seven years.

Xu Chaojin had been born half an hour before me. The fate said to curse one’s own kin had fallen on me.

I was raised in a nunnery until the age of ten. Only after a master declared that my malefic aura had dispersed was I brought home.

On my first day back, Father and Mother held me and could not bear to let go. Xu Lang ran circles around me, calling, “Sister, Sister.”

That night, Xu Chaojin began suffering nightmares. She wept day and night.

Someone suggested that perhaps I still carried an evil influence. Children were sensitive; maybe she had sensed it and suffered a fright.

After consulting an expert, a Buddha statue appeared in my room.

Whenever I had nothing else to do, I was forbidden to go outside. I was to kneel before the Buddha and cultivate my faith.

If I stayed in my courtyard, Xu Chaojin would be well.

If I stepped outside, she would be frightened.

So Father and Mother ordered me not to leave unless absolutely necessary.

When I was thirteen, Xu Chaojin’s kite fell into my courtyard.

The one who came to retrieve it was a boy of fifteen or sixteen. He stared at me in surprise. “You look so much like Chaojin. Why are you locked in here?”

“I’m not locked up. I’m praying to the Buddha. Whenever I go outside, Sister feels unwell.”

Shen Tingwei looked at Xu Chaojin in astonishment. “What kind of logic is that? Do you actually believe it?”

Xu Chaojin flushed. “They say my sister’s fate clashes with mine, but those wandering charlatans are talking nonsense. I’m well now. Sister should come and play with us.”

She held out her hand.

I stared at it for a long time.

Xu Chaojin seemed to glow.

She was a little bodhisattva, delivering me from suffering.

I truly believed then that my fate had changed, that every day ahead would be good.

After washing, I prepared for bed.

Someone arrived outside my courtyard.

Xu Lang called for me to come out.

I dressed and went to meet him.

Cold air clung to him. One look from him and his fury struck me full force.

“Was it you?”

“What?”

“Did you arrange for Chaojin to drag you in front of the heir? I told you not to tell Father and Mother. Now Chaojin has been made to kneel. Are you satisfied?”

After a moment’s silence, I asked, “Brother, I was with you throughout the lantern festival. Once we returned, I greeted Father and Mother and came straight to my room. When could I possibly have told them?”

“Who’s to say you didn’t use some trick again?”

The comments appeared.

“Xu Qiyu is taking the blame again.”

“It was obviously Qin Yi who sent someone to tell the Xu parents. Why did Eldest Miss send Xu Lang after Qiyu?”

“Eldest Miss meant for him and Qiyu to plead for mercy. She wasn’t saying Qiyu tattled. Xu Lang misunderstood.”

“You can’t blame him. Qiyu has a record.”

I exhaled. “Come with me, Brother.”

I led him to our parents’ courtyard. They were about to retire.

I knelt outside at once. “Father, Mother, please do not punish Sister.”

Xu Lang froze.

Our parents came out.

“Do not plead for her!” Father was furious. “We have spoiled her until she no longer knows the limits of heaven and earth!”

Mother came to help me up.

Xu Lang joined my plea. “Chaojin was confused for a moment. Kneeling all night is too severe. She won’t endure it.”

Father laughed in anger. “Confused for a moment? Has she been confused for three or four years? Chasing after the heir could once be excused as forthright passion, and if she had succeeded, perhaps it would not matter. But he has no feelings for her, and now she has dragged Qiyu into it. The heir himself sent a man to our door and demanded that I discipline your dear sister. If we indulge her any longer, who knows what other humiliating thing she’ll do?”

Xu Lang paled and looked from Father to me. “It—it was the heir who sent word?”

I leaned quietly against Mother.

Father snorted. “Who else did you think it was? This time, she must be punished. Her recklessness nearly destroyed Qiyu’s reputation. If Qiyu had not reacted quickly, what would others think of her? What would the Shen family, whose son is engaged to her, think of us? Chaojin must remember this lesson. After she finishes kneeling, she is confined to her courtyard. She will not leave without my permission. No amount of pleading will change my mind.”

He turned and went inside.

Mother patted my hand and ordered someone to escort me back.

I left without a word.

Xu Lang followed me all the way to my gate. Before I entered, he said quietly, “Qiyu, I’m sorry.”

Without turning around, I asked as if speaking to myself, “In your heart, Brother, I must be a very, very wicked person.”

I looked back at him, tears trembling in my eyes. “But once, you were the person I loved most.”

His expression shifted.

“Once,” I whispered. “Not anymore.”