Chapter 2
Everything unfolded exactly as Auntie Seductress had predicted. Zhao Lanxin discovered that the Crown Prince was a fool.
She refused to consummate the marriage with him and forced me to take her place.
I changed into her clothes and slipped behind the bed curtains.
The Crown Prince leaned against the bed in disheveled robes, his face flushed an unnatural crimson.
I glanced below his waist and my eyes flew wide.
Good heavens!
The Empress had truly given him a powerful dose to make sure he consummated the marriage. Wasn’t she afraid he would burst?
The Crown Prince opened his eyes, took one look at me, and shrank into the corner of the bed.
There was a scratch on his neck, probably from Zhao Lanxin.
When I tried to approach, he flinched away.
He watched me with a pair of pitch-black eyes brimming with fear.
“Oh, don’t be afraid. I won’t do anything to you.” I edged closer and said softly, “It was my fault just now. I scratched you by accident. Will you forgive me? I promise I’ll never treat you like that again.”
The Crown Prince studied me solemnly, as if weighing whether my words were true.
He really did seem foolish. Zhao Lanxin and I looked only fifty or sixty percent alike.
Perhaps the bed curtains were too dark for him to notice that she had been replaced.
The Crown Prince looked at me with such wounded grievance.
His dark, liquid eyes suddenly reminded me of a puppy I used to have.
My puppy had looked at me just like this when it fell ill.
“There, there. Good boy.” I took his hand and soothed him. “It doesn’t hurt. It doesn’t hurt.”
The Crown Prince leaned against my shoulder, his entire body burning like fire.
He rubbed restlessly against me and whimpered in distress.
“Heavens, you aren’t going to die, are you?” He was far too hot.
But I had no idea what to do!
According to the original plan, I was supposed to drug him so he would sleep through the night and wake unharmed.
How could I dare do that now?
My mind had gone completely blank.
Auntie Seductress had never taught me about any of this!
I lowered my head and tentatively poked the swollen place beneath his robes.
The Crown Prince seized my wrist. Veins bulged at his temple as his torment worsened.
When Zhao Lanxin saw that I still had not finished the deed, she summoned me outside.
She asked suspiciously, “You’re still a virgin? Didn’t my mother redeem you from a brothel?”
Guilty, I blurted, “This servant has fought a hundred battles! I simply don’t know how to serve someone so exalted on such short notice.”
“Exalted? He’s nothing but a fool now.” Zhao Lanxin rifled through a drawer and tossed me a booklet. “Follow the positions in these pillow-book illustrations and get it done.”
Afraid the Crown Prince might see her face, she turned and left.
I studied the pillow book carefully. This went here, that went there.
It looked simple enough—no different from scrubbing laundry.
“That hurts!” The Crown Prince shuddered and bit down on my neck.
“Don’t talk!” I hurriedly covered his mouth. It would be a disaster if Zhao Lanxin came back.
I coaxed him, “I’ll be gentler. I’ll be gentler, all right?”
The Empress slapped Zhao Lanxin twice across the face—hard!
She had come to the Eastern Palace to dine with the Crown Prince.
Eager to display her virtue, Zhao Lanxin personally fed him.
But the moment the Crown Prince touched her, he recoiled and vomited.
When the Empress questioned him, the Crown Prince raised his hand and said earnestly, “Bad woman bit me.”
Someone had bitten through the skin of his finger, leaving a ghastly white wound.
The Empress flew into a rage on the spot and slapped Zhao Lanxin until her mouth swelled.
“Li Fu,” she snapped, “keep your eyes on this wretch. If she dares bully my son again, I’ll make her entire family pay!”
I lowered my head and thought to myself.
Zhao Mingli had called my mother a wretch with every other breath.
Yet in the Empress’s eyes, his entire family was nothing but a pack of wretches she could dispose of at will.
That was the way of the world: hawks caught chicks, chicks ate insects, and insects ate leaves.
I did not want to be a leaf. I wanted to be the hawk.
The Empress left her chief eunuch behind to guard the Eastern Palace, then departed.
Li Fu was a round-faced eunuch with fine lines at the corners of his eyes when he smiled.
He said pleasantly, “Your Highness, the Empress orders you to kneel in the prayer hall for one hour. This way, please.”
Zhao Lanxin turned and shot me a look. She definitely wanted me dead.
Oh, I had not meant to bite the Crown Prince’s hand so badly!
But there had to be blood on the wedding-night cloth, and I had nothing sharp enough to cut a finger.
Biting myself would have hurt far too much, so I had no choice but to bite him.
Who would have thought that even a foolish Crown Prince knew how to tattle?
The thought gave me an idea. At night, I could secretly do bad things to him.
Then the Crown Prince would complain to the Empress, and wouldn’t Zhao Lanxin suffer for all of it?
Eunuch Li Fu ordered me to serve the Crown Prince his meal.
My own stomach was growling with hunger.
Everyone in the palace kept their heads bowed at all times, afraid to look around.
The Crown Prince, meanwhile, ate with perfect solemnity.
I quietly pinched up a piece of mung-bean cake and popped it into my mouth.
The Crown Prince’s head snapped up.
“Li Fu, she stole—” He was about to tattle.
I immediately stuffed a piece of roast chicken into his mouth and said sweetly, “Your Highness, what else would you like? This servant will feed you.”
And so I stole one bite for myself and fed one bite to the Crown Prince until my belly was full.
Eunuch Li Fu ordered the dishes cleared away.
He glanced at me and said calmly, “Wipe the grease from your mouth.”
My face went pale. I was terrified he would punish me.
Eunuch Li Fu flashed a smiling cloth doll before my eyes.
Wait. That was the doll my mother had made for Uncle Weeping Ghost.
He quickly tucked it away and pulled a weeping face at me.
I stared at him in delight. This was Uncle Weeping Ghost!
Uncle Weeping Ghost smiled at me, then turned and said in a sinister, singsong voice, “If I catch anyone neglecting His Highness again, the Bureau of Punishments will soon have a few more dead ghosts in its cells!”
The maids and eunuchs dropped to their knees in a rustle, swearing over and over that they would not dare.
I started to kneel as well, but the Crown Prince caught my hand.
He looked up at me in confusion. “You are the Crown Princess. How can you kneel…”
Oh, dear mother in heaven! Why did he have to mistake me for her at the worst possible moment?
Fortunately, everyone else was kneeling with their heads lowered.
I hurriedly covered his mouth.
But the Crown Prince was very strong. He clamped my hand in place.
“You…”
He was still trying to speak!
I distinctly saw one eunuch’s ears prick up.
In desperation, I leaned forward and sealed the Crown Prince’s lips with mine.
His eyes widened slightly.
He pulled me into his arms, settled me across his lap, and began kissing me in deadly earnest.
I truly wanted to die…
At least when I had been intimate with him before, we were hidden behind the bed curtains in darkness.
He had been drugged and was barely conscious.
Now the room was brightly lit, with all these people kneeling beside us.
I was so mortified I wanted to vanish on the spot.
“Don’t… mm…”
“Not here!”
I tugged at the Crown Prince’s hair and forced the muffled words out.
The Crown Prince was very obedient.
He picked me up and carried me into the inner chamber.