Chapter 5

Chapter 5

In the middle of the night, the Princess Consort’s chronic headaches flared up again.

I went to massage her head, the medicinal ointment on my fingertips feeling slick and greasy.

She let out a long sigh of relief.

Perhaps feeling a twinge of guilt for hitting me during the day, she offered a long-winded explanation in a low voice.

“You have followed this Princess Consort for six years. I know you are loyal, but once a person reaches this position, they must be careful in everything. A single misstep can lead to eternal damnation. Do you understand?”

I understood.

It was nothing more than the classic tactic of giving a blow and then offering a sweet date.

I replied softly, “This servant always remembers your kindness. If I am of use to you, please use me as you wish. I would face ten thousand deaths without hesitation.”

Satisfied, the Princess Consort closed her eyes.

I scooped out another dollop of ointment and smeared it onto my fingertips.

There was a slight numbness in my fingers; I told myself I must have used too much of the medicine.

The hunting trip ended abruptly due to the assassination attempt.

The Princess Consort accompanied Prince Zhao back to the mansion, only to be greeted by a sharp slap from the Dowager Consort.

The Dowager Consort said hatefully, “As the Princess Consort, you actually enticed the Prince into playing those games of ‘chase me’ just to compete for favor? You even forced the concubines to drink contraceptive soup! Are you trying to end the Liu Family’s line?”

Holding her face, the Princess Consort was speechless. Her eyes were filled with extraordinary shame and indignation, beneath which a hidden hatred flickered.

She was punished and made to kneel in the ancestral hall.

Looking up at the merciful Guanyin Bodhisattva, she finally allowed her vulnerability to show.

With tears in her eyes, she defended herself.

“If there were any other way, who would want to scramble for favor? But the Dowager Consort is relentless, stuffing concubines in left and right.

“He and I were childhood sweethearts; we grew up together without a shred of doubt. But now? He doesn’t step foot into my room once in a fortnight.

“If I don’t fight for myself, where will a son come from?

“If I only had a son, I wouldn’t need to degrade myself by competing for favor.”

She cried piteously, but I felt very little.

The living still have the chance to cry.

But the dead? They never will again.

Three days later, the Princess Consort finally finished her penance in the ancestral hall.

I chose the right moment to inform her of the Prince’s affairs.

“The Dowager Consort had Zhao Liangdi look after the Prince. Zhao Liangdi cared for him tirelessly for two nights before the Prince finally woke.

“The Dowager Consort was so delighted she praised Zhao Liangdi as the Prince’s lucky star. She has already promoted her to Zhao Shufei.

“In the future, if she gives birth to a child, she will be promoted further to Side Consort…”

With a loud crash, the Princess Consort swept her sleeve across the table. Cups and plates shattered across the floor in a chaotic, noisy clatter.

Her eyes gleamed with a predatory light, like a beast whose territory had been invaded.

“How dare they? An old hag and a lowly wench-do they really think the master of Prince Zhao’s Mansion has changed?”

The “old hag” was, of course, the Dowager Consort.

The “lowly wench” was Zhao Shufei.

Her hatred had likely reached its peak, causing her to lose her composure entirely.

In the past, no matter how much she hated the Dowager Consort, she had always remained respectful on the surface, never showing any negligence. But now, she couldn’t even be bothered to maintain appearances.

I had observed her coldly over these years. In truth, the Princess Consort was calm and extremely good at putting up a front. Yet, she was easily swayed by Prince Zhao’s moods.

Perhaps she truly had loved him once, which was why she cared so much about what she gained and lost. But Prince Zhao was not a good man.

After the extreme anger came an endless void of loss.

She murmured, “If only I had a son, why would I have to suffer like this?”

She was going mad for the sake of a son.

It was good that she was going mad. Let no one have a moment of peace.

Once the Prince recovered, a Buddhist ritual was held to dispel the lingering ill fortune. To please the Dowager Consort, the Princess Consort put her heart and soul into the preparations.

The entire process went incredibly smoothly. Everyone praised her repeatedly, saying they had never seen such a meticulously planned ritual.

A smile finally appeared on the Princess Consort’s face.

As the ritual neared its end, she invited Monk Fahui, a high-ranking monk from Dazhao Temple, to resolve her doubts.

After all, the imperial physicians said her body was fine, yet Prince Zhao’s concubines were conceiving one after another. If neither of them had a physical problem, yet they couldn’t produce a child, something had to be wrong.

Since medicine had failed her, she decided to try the path of Buddhism.

Monk Fahui studied her for a long while, his merciful eyes slightly lowered.

He spoke slowly, “Forgive this old monk for speaking plainly, but the Princess Consort has an unresolved karmic debt. If this karma is not settled, I fear it will be difficult to bear children in this lifetime.”

The Princess Consort turned deathly pale. Something suddenly occurred to her, and her lips trembled as she asked, “What karma is the Master referring to?”

Monk Fahui replied, “There are countless karmic debts in this world, but those that affect one’s offspring are surely tied to a life. The Princess Consort should reflect on this carefully.”

The monks departed.

The Princess Consort forced herself to see the guests off, but she could no longer hold herself up. She ordered her servants to rush her back to her bedroom.

She had a few lives on her hands from over the years, but those deaths weren’t enough to cause her genuine guilt.

The only person she likely felt guilty toward was my mother.

My mother had saved her and her daughter’s lives once, then twice. Yet in all these years, she had never once burned a single stick of incense for my mother.

Instead, she blamed my mother for the injuries that had supposedly ruined her health and left her unable to conceive again.

To be such an ungrateful ingrate… retribution was bound to follow.

On countless nights, I too had wondered many times: what if my mother had just taken me and run, leaving them to their fate? Wouldn’t that have been wonderful?

But thinking it over, if she had really done such a thing, then my mother wouldn’t have been my mother.

My mother wasn’t like those people who were generous at the expense of others; she truly led by example.

My mother possessed the most simple and pure chivalry passed down from her grandfather, a solitary courage to forge ahead even against ten thousand.

Such people hide within the crowd, never appearing particularly remarkable in their daily lives.

Yet at critical moments, it is people like her who shed their blood, take the bullet for the masses, carry the firewood for the cold, and hack through the brambles for those behind them.

I cannot complain that she was dull or foolish.

Because if she had truly lived only for herself, then I would have frozen to death in the wind and snow long ago, and I certainly wouldn’t be here thinking these idle thoughts.

For several days, the Princess Consort was in a trance, her gaze drifting toward me as if searching for something.

I pretended to notice nothing.

Until the news came that Zhao Liangdi was pregnant. Then, the Princess Consort panicked.

She grabbed me, speaking each word as if she had reached a monumental decision.

“Zhiqiu, this Princess Consort wants to adopt you as my daughter. However, you must not speak of this to anyone. Sooner or later, this Princess will find a way to enter your name into the Imperial Genealogy. For now, we can only acknowledge this relationship in private. Are you willing to be this Princess’s adopted daughter?”

Finally, the moment I had been waiting for arrived.

Even though she was just dangling a carrot in front of me, it was at least the first step.

I was internally thrilled, but on the surface, I appeared utterly shocked.

“Whatever the Princess Consort desires, this servant is willing. But how could this servant be worthy of being your adopted daughter? I cannot, and I dare not.”

The Princess Consort spoke in a tone that brooked no argument. “If this Princess Consort says you are worthy, then you are.”

She brought me in to acknowledge the relationship and had me serve her tea.

When I called her “Mother,” I nearly gagged.

She didn’t deserve that title.

She defiled the word.

But this was a path I had to take.

I was given a private room, a wardrobe full of the Princess Consort’s old clothes, and a few pieces of her aged jewelry.

However, only a few people knew of this.

On the surface, I had become a mistress.

In reality, I still performed the duties of a personal maid.

Those few maids who knew the truth would sometimes speak with biting sarcasm.

“Oh, isn’t this the mistress of our mansion? Why is she still serving the Princess Consort?”

“What mistress? She’s just a tool, a name to see if she can bring the Princess Consort a child. She’s no different from those women used as surrogates.”

“If she can’t bring any luck, things will get ugly then, tee-hee…”

I had nothing to argue with them about.

Everyone wants to climb higher.

But some people have no path to climb.

A maid can toil until she becomes a Mammy, but she is still a servant.

Those bolder ones might successfully climb into the master’s bed and become a concubine, but their life is only marginally better in terms of food and clothing.

Their lives remain trapped within these back courtyards, never leaving the prince’s mansion, never flying out of the capital. They will never see the vastness of the frontier, the treacherous peaks of Bashu, or the white walls, green tiles, and endless waters of Jiangnan.

If they fail to climb the bed, they are thrown onto a mass grave wrapped in a tattered mat, becoming food for wild dogs before returning to the earth.

I had traveled to many places with my mother; this four-walled prince’s mansion could not trap me.

The only things in this world that could bind me were unliquidated grudges and unpaid debts of gratitude.

At nightfall, the Princess Consort’s headache returned.

It was because the Prince had declined her invitation. After leaving Zhao Shufei’s room-she had recently been promoted from Liangdi-he had turned and entered Li Liangyuan’s room instead.

She couldn’t catch her breath, and her migraines flared up again.

I got up to massage her head.

Her nerves were taut, and the veins on her forehead bulged.

It took a long time for me to smooth them out.

My hands never stopped.

In my heart, I silently counted the days.

It had been seven days since Li Liangyuan’s period ended, hadn’t it?

This was a prime time for conception.

She would surely seize the opportunity.

One month later, Li Liangyuan was also pregnant.

The Princess Consort could no longer sit still.

The way she looked at me was filled with resentment as she muttered to herself.

“Is it still not enough? What will it take to let me go? Do I really have to…”

She clenched her fists, seemingly having steeled her heart.

“At the Mid-Autumn Festival banquet, this Princess Consort will find a way to let everyone know you are the mansion’s adopted daughter.”

“The Dowager Consort will not agree, and your daughter does not care if the world knows. In my heart, you will always be my mother.”

She lowered her eyes to hide the surging hatred and fear within.

“I will find a way for this. You don’t need to worry about it anymore. Just wait for my word.”

She turned and went to the Dowager Consort’s quarters.

She knelt before the Dowager Consort’s door for a day and a night, simply to beg for her indulgence.

She exhausted every good word and reason.

But the Dowager Consort remained unmoved.

Prince Zhao could not stand by.

They had been a young couple together for many years; in the end, he could not watch her suffer and do nothing.

Prince Zhao held the Princess Consort, who was crying so hard she could barely breathe, and tried his best to comfort her. Then, in a fit of rage, he went to find the Dowager Consort.

I don’t know what he said.

Ultimately, the Dowager Consort decided to see me.

When she saw me, her well-maintained face clouded with undisguised loathing, as if I were something shameful that should never see the light of day.

“Though you are recognized as an adopted daughter, you are you, and Prince Zhao’s Mansion is Prince Zhao’s Mansion. Do not covet what does not belong to you, and certainly do not conduct business in the name of Prince Zhao’s Mansion. If This Princess finds out you are using our influence for your own ends, This Princess will make you pay back a thousandfold for how you obtained this status.”

I repeatedly claimed I wouldn’t dare. I thought of every sad thing I had ever known just to force down the corners of my mouth, which were threatening to curl into a smile.

They didn’t know that this very decision would plunge the entire Prince Zhao’s Mansion into total annihilation.