Chapter 5

Chapter 5

After Consort Yu drove me out, I had already become a defeated dog in the eyes of the eunuchs and palace maids.

A person like me could therefore be bullied as they pleased.

In spring, they loved playing leaf cards. They would gather to gamble and order me around to handle odd jobs.

I did not want to get into arguments with people, so I silently accepted.

Unfortunately, there was always someone who refused to leave me alone.

He was a young eunuch with slanted, hooded eyes and a gap between his front teeth.

He wanted me to become his partner in the palace, but I refused.

The young eunuch gave me a mocking smile.

“Sister Chunye, there’s a fine assignment for you.

“Lady Noble Consort’s quota is missing some Youshui Incense, and she’s throwing a fit. You can take care of it.”

The Lady Noble Consort he spoke of was Noble Consort Lin, the most favored woman in the imperial harem.

She was General Lin’s youngest daughter. She had always loved martial arts, possessed a terrible temper, and took pleasure in tormenting eunuchs and palace maids.

I had heard that no one ever returned smiling after being ordered to deliver something to her palace.

And now the Imperial Household Department had even left something out of her quota.

Yet as I walked down the covered corridor, looking at the lush green willow branches on either side, I suddenly felt that she and Consort Yu were very much alike.

It was not a resemblance in their features or figures, but something that seeped from the very depths of their bones.

Perhaps even someone as noble as the Late Emperor had found the inner palace somewhat stifling.

These lively, uninhibited women were not like the artificial flowers, meticulously carved and shaped in the Imperial Garden.

Only something beautiful and passionate was worth holding in one’s hand and playing with.

I had met Noble Consort Lin once before.

That was years ago, shortly after I entered the palace. Because I refused to curry favor with the Grand Eunuch, I had been punished by being sent to sweep fallen leaves in the Imperial Garden.

The palace maid assigned to clean with me was jealous that I came from the same hometown as the Empress. She deliberately slacked off, leaving me to sweep the enormous Imperial Garden by myself.

I was slow-witted and did not say much. When something happened, I did not know how to refute anyone or argue back. I simply worked in silence.

That was when Noble Consort Lin noticed me.

The moment she saw me, she laughed. “You little palace maid, how did you grow up so foolish and clumsy? Even when people insult you, you don’t talk back.”

I answered honestly, “This servant doesn’t know how to insult people, and wouldn’t do it well anyway. It’s better not to say anything.”

“After all, once other people have decided that this is the kind of person you are, no amount of talking back can erase their opinion of you.”

Noble Consort Lin froze at those words.

She was very young, as beautiful as peach blossoms and plum flowers. Her thick eyebrows made her look much like a valiant female general in a painting.

People had once said that if she had not entered the palace to become a consort, she would surely have become a female general instead.

But in the fourth year of Zhenyuan, General Lin was promoted to Commander of the Three Armies.

To secure military power and stabilize His Majesty’s confidence, her father sent her into the palace.

Noble Consort Lin herself did not seem as frightening as the rumors claimed.

Her beauty was vivid and striking, making her look exactly like the demoness in storybooks who drained men’s vital essence. It was only because she ruled her subordinates with such severity that she had earned the dislike of the entire palace.

Later, perhaps that was how the rumors began.

They said that Noble Consort was the child of a demoness, and that she had bewitched the emperor into neglecting court every day.

They said that Noble Consort Lin used her foxlike charms to seduce her lord, yet could not bear him a son or daughter because she lacked hidden virtue and had committed secret wrongdoing.

The more they repeated it, the more convincing the lies became.

Before long, everyone in the palace was terrified of Noble Consort Lin.

They feared and loathed her in equal measure.

…

When I went to deliver the Youshui Incense missing from the Imperial Household Department’s quota, the Noble Consort’s palace was utterly quiet.

When she saw me, she smiled.

“I remember you. Your name is Chunye.”

I was a little surprised. “You still remember my name, Your Highness?”

“Mm.” She answered softly. The hand resting on the couch was pale and frail.

“We met once in the Imperial Garden all those years ago.

“I wonder whether you’ve been well these past few years.”

I was somewhat lost. I wanted to answer, but it seemed I could not find the words.

Had I been well?

I supposed I had. I had managed to remain safely in the palace for three full years. Even though I was burdened with hard work most days, I had at least survived.

I was not a lonely ghost beneath a well, nor the wronged remains of someone who had died by hanging from a roof beam.

But perhaps I had not been well, either.

Night after night, I lay alone and could not sleep. Every time I woke with a start, I saw Yushu’s tear-filled eyes and Consort Zhen’s desolate gaze in my dreams.

As for Consort Yu, she had never been particularly close to me, but neither had she harmed me.

I always felt that there was a grief in her eyes that could never be dissolved.

A thousand tangled thoughts reached my lips, but in the end, only one sentence came out.

“I’m doing all right.

“And how have you been, Your Highness?”

Noble Consort Lin lowered her head and gave a small laugh. Her beauty had grown even colder and more striking. A tiny mole at the corner of her eye was captivating, making her look exactly like the bewitchingly beautiful demon ghost described in storybooks, with a strange and haunting allure that words could hardly convey.

Her splendor had only deepened.

For a woman, her twenties were the most beautiful years of her life. Like the full moon reaching the middle of the sky, like spring water filling to the brim, like a flower bud trembling as it opened completely.

Yet I always felt there was an inexplicable sorrow in her eyes as well.

Noble Consort Lin spoke one word at a time. “I have not been well.”

So she had not been well all these years.

Even someone as exalted as Noble Consort Lin could have her share of unhappiness.

“All these years, outsiders have seen me as enjoying limitless glory. In truth, only I know the suffering hidden beneath it all.”

Noble Consort Lin gave a bitter smile.

“I never wanted to be a girl who weeded flowers and tended plants. I would have much rather been a young man who wielded swords and spears. Who could have imagined that my old father would kneel and beg me? With no other choice, I entered the palace for the glory of my family.

“In the inner palace, His Majesty favored me because of my family’s power, yet he caused me to lose my children one after another.”

She sighed softly. “Beneath all that splendor lies nothing but broken walls and ruins.”

I still tried to comfort her. “Your Highness, there will always be a way out.”

I had once said the same thing to Consort Zhen.

But she had been too heartbroken to take my words to heart.

I stayed for only a short while in Noble Consort Lin’s palace before leaving.

As I was departing, her cold hand closed around mine. “If there is a next life, I will never be born a woman.”

A woman in good health rarely had hands this cold.

I nodded gently.

“I can only wish Your Highness a long, peaceful, and healthy life in this one.”

With tears in her eyes, she said, “That is what I wish for, too.

“Unfortunately, the affairs of this world cannot be defied.”