Chapter 1
Chapter 1
That morning, my cat Beauty came home limping.
“You’re back?”
She ignored me and turned straight into her bed.
Something felt wrong. I went over, hauled her out despite her protests, and checked her all over.
“That hurts! Meow, meow, meow!” she snapped.
Her eyelids, chin, and the soft pads of her paws had all been scratched bloody.
I was baffled.
Beauty was a tortoiseshell with wildly mottled fur. The eunuchs at the Palace Animal Office all said they had not seen such an ugly cat in years.
But I could understand cats, and I knew that by feline standards she was breathtaking—an empire-toppling beauty. That was why I had named her Beauty in the first place.
Every tom in the palace adored her, and she got along perfectly well with the female cats too.
“Who hurt my kitty?”
She grumbled, “That fat brute from Yunxiao Palace.”
Ah. Jade Lion, that ill-mannered pest.
I asked why she had fought him, but Beauty was in a foul mood and refused to answer.
After I treated her wounds, Mother Consort arrived. She scolded me at length and ordered me to apologize to Fifth Sister.
My first reaction was delight. “Is Jade Lion hurt?”
Had my Beauty finally accomplished something impressive?
Mother Consort frowned. “You think that beast of yours could beat Jade Lion?”
“Oh…”
Beauty could no longer contain herself. She charged out of the corner and cursed at my mother.
“You’re the beast! I’m a cat!”
How rare. She had finally remembered that she was a cat instead of imagining herself human.
I had never taught her what “beast” meant. She must have heard the word often enough around the palace to teach herself that it was an insult.
Mother Consort could not understand her, but she could probably tell the abuse was vicious. Her face took on a greenish cast.
“You treasure a hideous thing like that? You’re an embarrassment to me.”
Beauty had tremendous pride. She would not tolerate anyone calling her ugly.
Seeing her about to lose control, I shouted, “For my sake!”
Beauty bared her teeth at me, then stalked away.
I turned back to Mother Consort. “Must you keep harassing a cat? If Jade Lion wasn’t hurt, what am I supposed to apologize for?”
She said Beauty did not know what was good for her.
“Jade Lion is noble beyond measure. He favored her, and she dared refuse him? Your Fifth Sister is furious. She is waiting for you to show the proper attitude.”
So that was it. Beauty was probably about to go into heat. Jade Lion had courted her, she had rejected him, and he had attacked her.
And somehow I was the one who owed an apology?
Mother Consort plainly thought so. In her mind, the reasoning was impeccable.
Fifth Sister treasured Jade Lion, she warned. If I failed to read the situation, life would become very unpleasant for me.
Matters among cats were simple. Once humans became involved, they turned complicated.
My mother held the third-rank title of Zhaoyi, placing her somewhere in the imperial harem’s middle tier. She had borne me during the brief period when she was most favored.
Father showed no special preference among his consorts, however, and there was nothing outstanding about her. She had climbed as high as she had only by serving the Empress hand and foot.
There were many princesses like me in the palace. I ranked ninth.
There was only one legitimate princess, the Empress’s own daughter—my Fifth Sister, Jade Lion’s owner.
Given all that, Mother Consort’s attitude was hardly surprising.
Later, I prepared to visit Yunxiao Palace and apologize.
Beauty tiptoed back and forth beside me.
“You’re really going?”
“What else can I do?”
“Cat business should be settled by cats!”
I sighed. “It’s easier to apologize. Otherwise Mother Consort will nag forever. You don’t want her coming here again either, do you?”
I was only going through the motions. It was not as though I meant it.
“Then give that ugly thing a message for me,” Beauty said. “Tell him to stop dreaming. If he comes near me again, I’ll kill him!”
That was my real purpose as well.
“Great minds think alike.”
Fifth Sister put on a convincing show of magnanimity when I arrived.
“Such a trivial matter was hardly worth the trip.”
What a hypocrite, I cursed inwardly. No one was pettier than she was.
Aloud, I smiled. “I should have watched Beauty more carefully instead of letting her go out and make a spectacle of herself.”
Fifth Sister glanced at me as she stroked Jade Lion.
“What would a cat know?”
Meaning that the owner was to blame for failing to control her pet.
“Exactly. Jade Lion doesn’t know how handsome he is. He ought to choose a wife as beautiful as himself.”
That landed squarely on Fifth Sister’s vanity.
“Beauty and my Jade Lion truly aren’t well matched,” she agreed.
She ordered the palace maid in charge of the cat to keep a closer eye on Jade Lion. That settled the matter.
I stayed for a cup of tea and then left.
At the doorway, Jade Lion tripped me.
“I won’t give up!” he yowled.
I crouched, smiling sweetly as I patted his head.
“Beauty asked me to tell you this: give it up, ugly.”
He protested so furiously that he drew the attention of his attendant.
“You little ancestor! What are you doing out here?”
I smiled. “He probably smelled Beauty on me. You’d better carry him back before Fifth Sister gets angry.”
Terrified, the maid scooped him up at once.
Jade Lion hooked one paw over her arm and glared at me sideways.