All Novel

My family has one enormous, very public secret.

Ever since she was born, my mother has been bound to a system: the Beauty System.

Apparently, if she ever drops out of the top three on the Beauty Ranking of the Four Seas and Eight Realms, she will die.

At first, neither of my parents was remotely worried.

With Mother’s looks, holding her place for another few hundred thousand years would be no trouble at all.

But sometimes the unexpected arrives without the slightest warning.

When my parents joyfully welcomed their first child, a floating Beauty Ranking of the Four Seas and Eight Realms appeared out of thin air beside the bed.

And there, in first place, was my eldest brother, whose name had only just been decided: Zhou Yi.

My parents were a little bewildered, but didn’t think much of it.

Until they had their second child.

My parents and big brother once again greeted the new baby with delight.

Once again, the ranking appeared in midair.

First place changed hands again.

It now belonged to my elder sister, Zhou Er.

That was when Father panicked.

He moved out of their bedroom that very night.

For several years afterward, he didn’t dare set so much as one foot inside after sunset.

Every evening, they would hold hands in the corridor, gazing at each other as they lingered over their farewell.

Then my brother and sister would each take one of them by the hand and escort them to their separate rooms, with my parents looking back every few steps.

They pined so badly their eyes practically glowed green, but at least Mother’s life was safe.

My betrothed had become entangled in a love affair in Yangzhou.

The woman was a courtesan named Li Pengpeng, the most celebrated beauty in the city’s pleasure quarters.

She bought her freedom and stood alone outside the Xie family’s ancestral residence, waiting in silence for an entire month before she was finally granted an audience with Old Madam Xie.

In the end, a sedan chair carried her into a house on Four Wells Lane.

When I reached the capital, I happened to hear that she and Xie Shijing had held a proper wedding feast.

They went everywhere together, basking in their newfound glory.

Though only his mistress, she enjoyed all the privileges of a lawful wife.

Everyone in Shangjing was watching for my humiliation.

Occasionally someone voiced indignation on my behalf, but other voices soon drowned them out.

Some busybodies even opened a betting pool, wagering that I would swallow the insult.

After all, the Song family of Luochuan had long since fallen from its former standing, while the Xies were a pillar of the imperial court.

On the day the betting began, I went alone to the Xie family’s principal residence, just as Li Pengpeng had done.

I had not come to demand justice.

I had come to end the engagement.

Xie Shijing was unworthy of being my husband.

Everyone in the industry knows that a certain A-list actress whose surname starts with J keeps a ghost child.

I was the daughter of a male courtesan and a prostitute, born of their illicit affair.

For someone of my birth, life was supposed to mean servitude or prostitution.

My parents often urged me, “While you’re still young and beautiful, coax some wealthy, powerful patron into buying your freedom.

You can become his concubine.

That would be better than selling your looks in a brothel.”

But I was young and proud then.

I refused to become a powerful man’s plaything, to spend my whole life at someone else’s mercy.

So before the madam could make me take clients, I escaped from Rouge House.

“Oh, very well.

I will marry him.”

My sisters’ eyes went round.

Everyone knew how hopelessly I adored Ninth Young Master Cui: his literary gifts, his youthful grace.

I had led his horse, ground his ink, and made an utter fool of myself over him.

Why would I now agree to help our aunt the empress build her faction by marrying Pei Yao, that Turkic bastard neither of his parents cared for?

“Quick, tell Father!

Sanniang has agreed!”

My eldest sister reacted at once.

Afraid I might change my mind, she loudly applauded my decision and sent a servant off with the news.

The others recovered, hastily put on smiles, and clasped my hands from either side.

Such a sensible girl, they told me.

I was bound to go far.

I knew none of them would accept this splendid opportunity if it were offered to her.

But for me, it was already the best future I could hope for.

After all, in that dream, I had fought against it.

A high fever left my sister intellectually disabled.

But she’d been beautiful since she was little.

After I got into university, I sold her first time to my rich roommate, and her second to the student council president.

Both came away looking thoroughly satisfied.

“She’s an idiot, but she’s something else.”

Thanks to those two, I sailed through university and found a way to stay in the big city after graduation.

As for my sister, she couldn’t even speak properly.

Sacrificing herself for me was only right.

Just as I was making a push for an even better position, my parents called.

“Good news.

Your sister’s recovered.”

I was a third-rank hairdressing maid at Chengxi Palace.

My greatest pleasure each day was making Her Ladyship look beautiful.

What?

His Majesty had visited a dancing girl from Jiangnan?

Time for a fresh summer look full of little joys…

What?

His Majesty had developed a taste for exotic beauty?

Time for a midriff-baring outfit inspired by the flying celestial figures of Dunhuang…

My skills earned me the position of chief steward of the inner palace.

Then, when I turned twenty-five, I needed to leave the palace for a while.

The Noble Consort, who usually ignored everyone, clenched her teeth.

“I forbid you to go!”

The dignified, courteous Empress smiled gently.

“The palace rules are outdated.

It is time we changed them.”

But—but I was only going home to visit my family!

Rule-based horror descended upon Blue Star, and each country had one Chosen One selected to enter the Horror World and fight for survival.

If a contestant died, their country’s national fortune declined and disaster struck.

If they successfully cleared the scenario, the country’s national fortune rose and the entire population received rewards.

Su Chen happened to be selected and entered the terrifying zoo horror scenario.

1. If the elephants you see look different from what you know elephants to be, do not panic. Open your eyes wide and tell yourself that seeing is believing.

2. This zoo has an Aquarium. If a staff member offers to sell you an Aquarium ticket, accept. There is a backup exit there.

3. There is absolutely nothing wrong with the zoo’s safety measures. No animal could possibly escape, and small herbivores in particular are kept in sealed enclosures where they cannot be touched. Therefore, if you see a rabbit running loose, pet it and carry it to a staff member. Rabbits can comfort you…

Just then, Su Chen awakened the Horror Rule Analysis System. As long as he deciphered the rules of the Horror World, he could earn rewards.

[Ding! Congratulations, Host. You have received the Death Rollback reward!]

From that moment on, the entire Horror World took a turn for the bizarre.

Su Chen: What do I do now that I’ve turned the zoo into a vacation resort? Urgent, waiting online!

The Mountain Trail, Mental Hospital, and School Horror Scenarios: Stay away from us!

Longguo: Su Chen is truly a blessing to Longguo!

Ugly Nation + Kimchi Nation + Sakura Nation: I’d like to report someone for cheating, but I have no proof!

On my first day in the Duke of Liang’s household, my stepdaughter threw her ceremonial tea onto the floor, and my stepson threatened to have me cast out.

I drenched her with a teapot and took a ruler to his hand.

When their father asked what had happened, I told him I was merely teaching the children our household’s rules.

Everyone says a stepmother’s lot is hard.

But this household would recognize only one mistress: me.

I had studied immortal arts under my master since childhood.

A sharp pair of scissors and a sheet of white paper could bring anything in the world to life.

With that gift, I cut out ten thousand swallows and sparrows when locusts ravaged the fields.

In moments, they devoured the swarm and saved an entire town.

The townsfolk bowed to me as an immortal maiden.

The county magistrate offered to submit a memorial on my behalf.

I waved him off.

“I hear someone in this town once slew a snake demon.

I would marry that man and bring a thousand pieces of gold.”

Fang Liang emerged from the crowd in filthy rags, reeking of wine.

He grabbed my hand and grinned, baring a mouthful of yellow teeth.

“Little immortal, don’t you go back on your word.”

I looked at him and smiled, with a coldness beyond words.

My master had been a snake immortal.

Mortals had tortured him to death as a demon and used him to make a secret elixir of everlasting life.

Blind and arrogant creatures.

How could they know whether the woman they took home was an immortal—or a monster?